Marianas Trench: Video On Trial & … A New Album?

January 11th, 2008

What’s up my little blogalicious elven warriors?

Look who’s back in the hizouse, it is I: Sir Ramsay. Of the royal knights, Marianas Trench.

I know what you’re thinking, “What has my favorite band of jubilees been up to lately?” Well, fear not, I am here for you darlings. In fact, I’m in the MuchMusic building as we speak. I just finished taping an episode for a little ditty I like to call, Video On Trial. It was like eating smooth, rich pudding, made special by jesus. And you know what? It was some tasty shit. I’ve always loved pudding. So I did my part, tearing into music videos and continuing my noble quest of world domination.

Unfortunately last night I missed my flight to Toronto. So I had to fly all night, only to arrive here at 7am. But I did it in style. I rode atop a fire breathing dragon. After a very quick sleep I was off to MuchMusic to tape a Video On Trial that can only be described as “majestic.” I would be lying if we didn’t all shed a few tears. It was akin to looking into the face of god and have him smile back at you and say, “you are my favourite.” That’s the kind of show they make ’round these waters.

On to my next topic. So what else is on the fair horizon for Marianas? Let me tell you. Let me crack an egg of enlightenment upon your thirsty heads.

We’re working on a new album. It’s basically 47 minutes of me tap dancing. We just put up a microphone and I donned my taps, and we just let it roll. It was so magical that we decided to just make it the centerpiece of our record. Yep the sounds of tappity tappity for 47 straight minutes. But it’s going to be a double album. The second half is another 47 minutes as well. But of pure silence. There’s extensive sheet music for this part. Lots of complicated time signatures and rhythms. But every note is, what we in the biz call, a rest. Which means you play nothing. But to fully enjoy it, you’ll also get a copy of the sheet music and a calculator so you can count along. I’m really baring my soul on this one, boys and girls. I’m so proud of this record. It’s the best thing that has ever been recorded in the history of time. I’m getting weepy just thinking about it. Look for it in stores later this year. It’s called, “Marianas Trench: The Norman years. A retrospective look at locomotion technology through the years.”

And in the meantime, let me give you some homework. I know you’re thinking, “what will I listen to untill the new Marianas CD comes out?”

Fear not my apple dumplings. Uncle J Dawg has the answers.

Option 1: Nothing. Sit in patient silence untill I send you a signal.
Option 2: “The Cheeky Song” by The Cheeky Girls. “Are You Jimmy Ray?” by Jimmy Ray. “Salami Fever,” by Pepe Deluxe. These are “Josh Ramsay pre-approved” listening material. Search all of these videos on YouTube, and enjoy their genius.

Remember kids, don’t drink gasoline, that stuff’s flammable!

- Josh

Posted on Friday, January 11th, 2008 at 5:36 pm by admin and is filed under Celeb Guest Blogs.