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September 11th, 2013
While I was trolling the internet, I came across a news article that says you’re retiring me.
Well, thanks for heads up, dude. I’ve been working hard so hard for you. Licking sledgehammers. Participating in all your Instagram selfies. Being paraded like some sort of show pony at the MTV VMAs. And what do I get in return? Early retirement?
It’s a thankless job being your tongue. It’s like, how many giant teddy bears does a tongue have to lick to get some recognition?
Whatevs. You can’t retire me because I quit! If you need me you can find me hanging out with Britney Spears’ bald head and Beyonce’s Single Ladies-era weave.
Watch Miley’s tongue make its final appearance in Wrecking Ball here.
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