Mmm. Are Those Baby Carrots?

August 31st, 2004

Since Kelly blogged as me yesterday, I thought I’d up the ante (or something) by blogging as her for a bit today.

Here goes…

[The following to be read aloud in a Kelly-type voice - or for extra laughs, in a Strong Bad-type voice]

HOOOO-AAAAA. Ugh. I’m sooo tired, dudes. I was out until 4am last night…whoa. Yeah, I was at the Bovine checking out this rad underground punk act called “Die At The Edge Of The Earth Beneath The Twilight In December”. They came in to the radio show the other night and gave me their record. It slays.

Yeah, best band name ever, eh?? They’ve got a totally hot lead singer. He reminds me of Josh Homme crossed with Hot Craig from Gob.? Ultra hot. I have to drink some water.

Mmm. Are those baby carrots? I love those. Can I have one? I’m going to listen to The Distillers while eating baby carrots.?

Where’s the Firewire cable? Have you got one in your road case? I need to transfer some photos. USB cable, fine. Whatever. Just give me the damn cable.

Looking at my extensive live-event calendar, I see that I’m going to 8 concerts next week – including two concerts in one day put on by The Rampaging Banana Hordes…that’s on Wednesday. Justin, can you do an Inside piece to cover that day? Maybe something to do with lobsters.

I hate everything right now. No, wait, I just hate my computer. WHY WON’T THIS NEWSLETTER SEND?? I’m going to kill it.

[Puts on headphones, headbangs]

THE END

[You may now resume reading aloud in a Justin-type voice, or, for extra laughs, in a hardboiled film-noir detective-type voice]

Whew. That wasn’t so hard. I think I really captured her essence. If I could bottle it, I’d call it Eau De Shouldice. Alas I cannot, so you will have to make do with the magnificent monologue above.

Before I go today, I should mention that it’s Amanda’s last day. We’re all gonna miss her ’round these parts and wish her the best of luck.

So as not to end on a sad note, I’ll also remind you guys that it’s MuchMusic’s 20th birthday today…check out Much Turns 20 tonight @ 6pm ET. I’ve seen part of it and it’s funny as hell. Serious.

Ok bye.