My Favourite Neurotic Kitty Cat Nikki Green! .

May 18th, 2004

I regret to say that I wasn’t stalking you this past weekend so I wasn’t privy to your being ignored at some said party. I would’ve spit in their beer for dissin’ my stalking-pet.

Well, I’ve been a busy girl as of late. Spent a little time in L.A., went to Coachella, did a weekend in Montreal, joined a baseball team (something about dicks & balls….error error alert…..i meant sticks & balls) and enrolled in a photography course at OCA.

But onto the interesting stuff..

Coachella and celeb spotting. I witnessed Mischa Barton’s drama? because she couldn’t push her way into the V.V.I.P area. I didn’t overhear it but watched as Mischa marched right past me. I swear I could smell her sweat or her deodrant but if it was her Soft n’Dry it was obviously wasn’t working overtime (Mischa possibility to ponder: she hadn’t shaved her underarms for coachella and her deodrant wasn’t able to penetrate the sweat glands through the shrubery). I also saw Tommy Lee, Jared Leto, Jack White and the cutest Adrien Brody ever (his name was Devon and I think he loved me once).

But all of that is boring compared to my little meeting with one of the coolest boys in Hollywood, Mr. Owen “Bottle Rocket” Wilson. I don’t want to share the details, because they’re mine, but let me just say that we discussed sweaty feet, show removal and the MMVAs. I can say no more but you can worship me. Oh Owen, good times.

And the music! Oh my regina region! It will never be sweeter than The Pixies in the desert. Never.

The Flaming Lips, The Stills, Phantom Planet, The Rapture, Radiohead, Air, Belle & Sebastian, Stellastar, Sahara Hotnights, International Noise Conspiracy, Sparta, Le Tigre, oh my sweet inner groin pull, make it stop. I’d love to relive it all but I cannot. Painfully sweet. It was all so so good.

I leave you with this piece of Coachella travel advice: bring a camera that has a zoom feature to avoid the-backs-of-heads-of-people-that-you-don’t-know pictures; don’t travel with a friend and her boyfriend because like it or not you will undeniably become the third wheel and being the third wheel sucks big ass and makes you want to hurt people physically even if you’re not usually that kind of a person, sometimes it just happens that way; don’t use the bathrooms on the lower level at LAX because there’s snot on the walls and it’s not mine so it’s gross.

And most importantly if you’re name happens to be Andy Dick don’t pull out an all natural, green ciggy because chances are that you’ll get busted.

Oh Andy,you’re such a dick.