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The completely untold and untrue story of the 79th Annual Academy Awards.

What’s that Simon Cowell? I can’t heearrr you!!!!

Last night’s Oscars started some strange new traditions. First of all, they wanted to stress the importance of the Oscars, so they changed the size of the award. Winners now receive a 50′ tall statue, seen in this photo:

Second, if you win an award, you have to goose step in time with your entourage to the stage.

Third, and most bizzare, stars now compete in a head-to-head shadow puppet tournament. Penelope Cruz showed excellent shadow puppet form.

Here, 3 stars collaborate to create a scene of a well endowed man chasing the bus he just missed:

As with all award shows, there were a few awkward moments. John Travolta made no attempt to hide his disdain for Queen Latifah’s cover of “My Humps”.

and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house when these two showed up on stage with no necks due to an unfortunate pre-show rehearsal accident.

But there were good times to be had too.

Jack Nicholson won the Britney Spears look-a-like contest:

and Meryl Streep won for best score by making tooty noises with her hands:

All in all, a great show.

Posted on Monday, February 26th, 2007 at 11:41 am by Unknown and is filed under Blog.

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