PLL Episode 1: “I’m Starting To Think That B***h Has Superpowers”

June 15th, 2011

“A” breaks into Ezra’s but doesn’t catch him shirtless, Officer Garrett is still tonguing Jenna, Noel Kahn makes his triumphant return, Caleb ends his bromance with Lucas and Spencer makes coffee feel like taking a hit of E.

Just another week of murder, mayhem and the great shoes psychiatrists wear on Pretty Little Liars! Catch the AWESOME season opener HERE then click for the full debrief.

It wouldn’t be Pretty Little Liars unless the whole town believes they’re pretty little liars. Well girls, mission accomplished. There’s no body, but the police found Ian’s abandoned car and a busload of money in his back seat.

That’s called: “A” taking care of bidness!

Because that’s how adults think, the po-pos believe the girls learned about Ian leaving town with tons of moolah and attacked him. Just add in an appointment with a psychiatrist and no wonder the town thinks the girls are certified crazy!

Adding insult to injury, Officer Garrett (who’s in cahoots with Jenna, who’s creepily “watching” all the action unfold) convinces our fab four to lie about having evidence against Ian, since that would incriminate Garrett.

Aria’s already got a boat full of issues to work out. Her mother’s moved back home, but she’s not 100% sure it’s to get back with her father. Ezra still wants to make their “goo-goo-eyes” romance work even though he lied about almost getting married and, oh yeah, his ex-finance is back in town.

Neat trick he pulled there though, answering the door half-nekkid. How they didn’t jump each other there and then is a secret not even “A” knows.

And then we have the school’s sexiest student, Noel Kahn, back in town. The jury’s still out on whether or not he’s “A” or part of an “A” duo.

Their psych sessions aren’t any ray of sunshine either. The psychiatrist pretty much thinks they’re crazy after the girls were THIS CLOSE to telling her everything but bailed at the last minute.

Why? Because “A” broke into Ezra’s, stole his diploma, and hung it in the psych’s office, proving “A” can get into their lives and knew they were about to spill their secrets.

The shrink’s verdict: separate the fab four. They’ve all got to make new friends now.

Emily’s leaving town. Or at least that’s what her mother is trying to do. After a touching reversal of the stereotypical gay best friend with Emily and Toby (usually it’s a girl and her gay guy BFF) her house is ready for show and tell for buyers.

And one of those buyers is “A” who breaks in and erases Emily’s hard drive, and their only proof Ian was secretly taping them.

Too bad they didn’t show the shrink when they had the chance.

Surprise surprise! Lucas brought Caleb back and planted him right in Hanna’s kitchen. He tells her he’s sorry, and about the letter he wrote her. Hanna’s still pissed about being used (he was spying for Jenna) and tells him exactly that.

Hanna does confront Mona about ripping up the letter…only to find out Mona is dating hottie Noel!

I don’t think anyone saw that coming.

Spencer has more issues than anyone this episode. Her parents aren’t taking her side. Melissa isn’t taking her side. She can’t see Toby. She’s make all her friends “persons of interest” and nobody believes her about Ian being a killer. Melissa starts to forgive her and even tells her about her baby – they’re naming it Taylor.

The police find Melissa’s phone, but Spencer sees a text from someone telling Melissa it’s not safe to come back. Is it Ian? Only one way to find out: text “what’s our baby’s name?”

Reply-text: Taylor.

Ian’s back from the dead!

Got a secret, can you keep it? Swear this one you’ll save. Better lock it, in your pocket, taking this one to the grave. If I show you then I know you won’t tell what I said. Cause two can keep a secret, if one of them is dead…

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