Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious [Episode 5]

March 19th, 2008

On yesterday’s episode of Girlicious, Jenna was thisclose to being dragged away to the slaughter …

but in the end she was saved, and we lost better bitches for it. More on that later.

But first, it’s all about Natalie! Don’t worry – for now, she’s getting a better edit and for the first time I found myself liking her. A little bit. A TINY BIT.

Natalie calls her mom and hears some scary news: her grandmother was taken to the ER. She tells us through tears that her family means everything to her, and if there’s one reason she’s in this competition, it’s for them.

Meanwhile, Jamie breathes a sigh of relief after avoiding elimination. “I’m going to take off my make-up, put on my PJs and thank god for a second chance,” she says. And then there’s Jenna, who’s still huffy about some of the girls’ comments last week – Nichole, who said Jenna is just getting by in the competition and Tiffanie, who said if it wasn’t for her good looks, Jenna wouldn’t even be here. “There are some girls I’d never want to be in a group with,” she says.

Jamie explains that the house is divided into two cliques – Jenna, Natalie & Chrystina, and Tiffanie, Nichole & Charlye. Ilisa, Carrie and Jamie stay neutral because as Jamie says, “I could potentially be in a group with any of these girls.” You’re talking a lot in this episode honey – that’s a bad sign.

PCD mail! This week’s theme is “sexiness”, and Ilisa confesses that she might have a problem with this one.

Robin tells the girls, “this week we’re gonna ROCK!” Carrie is excited about this cause rock music is her element. Aaaaand here are the groups:

Nichole, Jenna, Chrystina – “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” (Nichole is worried about having Jenna in her group because “she’s kinda lazy”.)

Carrie, Ilisa, Tiffanie – “Piece Of My Heart” (I don’t know about you, but I’m totally sick of hearing this song on TV. I think it’s Amanda Overmyer’s fault. But apparently these girls aren’t sick of it yet):

Jamie, Natalie, Charlye – “Want You To Want Me” (Natalie is worried about Jamie, cause her vocals aren’t strong).

With all this worrying about other people, I guess Robin takes them by surprise when she says they’ll be judged individually this week. And then she takes them by surprise even more when she reveals that TWO people will be eliminated!!

Day one, rehearsals. No surprise that Jenna is having trouble with the choreography.

“I don’t feel like I’m a horrible dancer – I just can’t pick up the choreography.” Mikey’s all on her ass. “Good Nichole. Bad Jenna. Good Nichole. Bad Jenna.” Way to rub it in, Rubby.

Jamie is really worried that two girls will be going home, cause she has some vocal problems. In rehearsal, Kenn surprises everyone by making her captain cause she sounds super good. Jamie’s all verklempt.

And then there’s Ilisa, who’s trying her best to be sexy when Mikey informs her that she’s making the most ridiculous of faces. “Ilisa does this smelly face, like there’s tuna in the room,” he tells us. Mikey is the world champion of making people feel their best.

Later, Natalie calls her Mom and finds out that her grandmother died that morning. “Keep your head up, cause you’re doing this for all of us, ok?”

Natalie says, “all I could think was that I needed to go home and be with my family at a time of need like this.” Her mom tells her not to cry, cause she can’t be there to hold her. And for the first time, I feel compassion for Natalie. And for the first time, an episode of Girlicious brings a tear to my eye. Who knew?

Natalie goes to her bed, but Ilisa hears her crying from another room. Despite their differences in the past, Ilisa immediately goes to find out what’s wrong. This brings a second tear to my eye.

It’s not long before the rest of the girls gather around to provide comfort and support, and Natalie says that she feels closer to the girls through the experience.

Next day, the ladies gather in the studio just in time for dancer Blake McGrath to show up.

And THEN, Robin tells ‘em that their challenge this week is to create a super-sexy dance with a male. *shriek!* A gaggle of cuties enter the room and the girls lose their sh*t.

Some of the guys look like they just got outta jail and are very happy to have some female companionship.

The girls are chosen by the dudes playground stylies and surprise, Jenna and Ilisa are the last to go. Ilisa is good humoured about it, saying “you have to laugh.” Aw. How can you not like this chick?

The pairs go off to rehearse their moves. Chrystina has chemistry with her man and Charlye is adamant that one can be sexy without being raunchy. In other news, Tiffanie sees Jenna and says, “she actually looked like a whale having sex.” H-A-R-S-H. But there is truth to this statement – the whole sex part, I mean:

Everyone re-groups and the dance-off begins: they all dance at the same time and Mikey eliminates them one by one with a glittery bullhorn. Jenna “crossed the line between raunchy and sexy” and is eliminated first. But I guess Blake was into it:

Eventually it’s down to Chrystina and Charlye, and Chrystina’s obvious chemistry with her partner helps her take the immunity prize.

“You can hate, you can be jealous, I don’t even care,” she says. This is before actual haterade actually begins. Which happens now.

Back at the lab, Charlye won’t shut up about how she didn’t need to simulate sex to come in second place. I’m not sure if this is a jab at Jenna or Chrystina, but Jenna takes it as disrespecting Chrystina. She storms off to her own clique. “I’m sorry, but I’m so over Charlye. She was talking shit about you being all over the floor.” Chrystina yells that if people want to say something to her, they can say it to her face.

Tiffanie is all like, fine. I’ll do it. This is where I briefly fall in love with her. She’s like, “NO, she did NOT just call us out!?”

“Did you forget who I was? That I bring the drama, I LOVE the drama, it’s fun for me?” She beelines for Chrystina like a woman on a mission. Either this young lass has a wise understanding about reality archetypes, or she’s actually like this in real life and bless the casting department. I love this holier than thou angle of Tiffanie as she begins the epic confrontation:

This next part is complicated and I’m not going to give you the exact blow-by-blow. People are screaming.

Charlye is defensive. Chrystina is defensive. Jenna is defensive. NATALIE is telling people to calm down. Tiffanie is just there for fun. Remember, this all started with Charlye saying that other people danced like whores. Ok, I guess that’s kind of a low blow. Chrystina says it was out of line for Charlye to say that, and Tiffanie says it was out of line for Chrystina to keep calling them out to come talk to her face.

And then there’s Jamie, who sits back and enjoys the show. Like us!

“It wasn’t my fight, but I had to be in the kitchen for that!” Amen, sister.

And the award for loudest volume goes to… Tiffanie. By the end of the fight I’m convinced she just likes to hear herself talk. Or scream. Jamie says, “Tiffanie is animated and crazy as it is. To watch her in a fight? Oh, my gosh.”

Tiffanie’s closing argument is, “you suck every week!” And Jenna closes the whole thing off semi-intelligently: “You’re talking to people like they’re stupid. There are a lot of people in this house who deserve to be here. I’m going to bed.” Aaaand scene. But not quite. Tiffanie calls after her, “whatchu mad for? You asked for us to come and talk to you.” Jenna turns around and sighs, “what the F*CK.”

The next morning, Nichole and Chrystina wake up Jenna for rehearsals. “Please leave me alone, I’m leaving today,” Jenna groans. Nichole asks why she’s leaving. “I don’t want to be here no more.” Nichole shakes her head. “That blows my mind.”

Nichole sometimes has an air of entitlement, like she does here. It’s like she believes she’s superior. Kind of bugs me sometimes. Anyhoodle, Nichole and Chrys head off to rehearsals alone, and Robins all, WTF? She goes to have a talk with Jenna, who says that she could never be in a group with Tiffanie, Charlye or Nichole. Robin of course is disappointed that Jenna would give up so easily. Later, she shows up to practice, and we can only hope that with her willingness to give up, she’ll be going home anyway.

Performances! First up, Jenna, Nichole and Chrystina sing “Hit Me With Your Best Shot”.

Robin loved it, and Ron tells Chrystina she was the MVP. Next!

Tiffanie, Carrie and Ilisa sing “Piece Of My Heart”.

Robin says, “you girls took another little piece of MY heart.” Thanks, Paula Abdul. But while they were good as a group, the judges have some small beefs with Ilisa and Tiffanie’s individual performances. NEXT!

Natalie, Jamie and Charlye sing “Want You To Want Me”.

The judges nitpick about Charlye and Nat’s vocals. They loved Jamie overall, but still, she can’t sing. Uh oh. And then backstage, while Jamie worries about her future, Jenna guarantees that she’ll be going back to the loft. Damn you, lazylegs!

The judges discuss, and then bring the girls out. Nichole, Charlye, Chrystina, Tiffanie, Carrie = safe. The judges tell Natalie that she let stress affect her vocals, but she’s safe. And then, out of Jenna, Jamie and Ilisa, the judges keep… JENNA. As if!

Ilisa reacts, once again, with good nature. It’s sad to see her go.

Jamie is a little pissed. “It sucks that I gave it my all every week and someone who was about to walk out is still there.” Ilisa closes the show with, “I’ve been through so much, but this is my dream – and I’m going to live my dream.” Go get ‘em, girls.

Next week: Charlye, Charlye, Charlye. And Natalie’s a bitch again!

Posted on Wednesday, March 19th, 2008 at 1:13 pm by Mike VK and is filed under We <3 TV.