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Guess who’s back to her old tricks?

Natalie in full effect, y’all! And thank god for it. Easy breezy Natalie was much too likable for my comfort.

Big N kicks things off by telling Chrystina that being pretty is a talent. People are drawn to beauty, and as such when people see her, they want to talk to her. They want to be her friend. They want to slap her in the face. And THEN she comes with the quote of the episode, which deserves a whole new line:

“Not everybody is born beautiful. It’s a fact. I’m not the best singer, but one thing I have over these girls is beauty. Beauty is a talent. Jamie was my biggest competition cause she was gorgeous. I’m glad she went home!”

Well, I think it’s time to dust off some of my archive pictures. Beauty is finite. It’s a fact.

Aaaaaand I’m done.

Jenna admits she’s not surprised that Ilisa also went home last week, as we won’t be surprised at her inevitable elimination. In yo face! She then touches on the topic of her weight, which - let’s be honest here - she’s not fat. She’s got a great figure. But she’s slightly TV fat, as is anybody over a size 4, apparently. (Society!!!! *shakes fist*) Jenna says she’s making an effort to eat healthier …

… while the edit shows her concocting some monstrous chex mix filled with chocolate icing, peanut butter and icing sugar. Other girls look on, terrified.

No, sorry, with their best “watching a chubster eat junk food” face. It’s that fine mix of pity, disapproval and judgment. Nichole is the master of this face at all times and for all reasons.

PCD Mail! This week’s theme is Vocal Expression. The only other PCD who sings says, “if you’ve been hiding behind a smile, we’re about to find out.” Actually, I think that was said by one of the PCDs who doesn’t sing, and the irony is so delicious.

Robin says that to her, vocal expression means being a “total diva”. I guess? Jenna is all, “I’m a diva cause I have a very different voice from everyone else.” Last time I checked I don’t think that had anything to do with being a diva, but what do I know! Anyway, here are the groups:

Nichole, Natalie, Charlye, Jenna - “Emotion” (Destiny’s Child arrangement, originally a Bee Gees song)

Tiffanie, Carrie, Chrystina - “What A Feeling” (from Flashdance)

Robin informs them that the whole thing will be performed as a medley, with all 7 girls appearing at the end of “What A Feeling”. And suddenly, Kenn Hicks is demonstrating his own vocal expression by busting out some opera:

This makes Charlye very sad:

And this is not the first time we’ll see ol’ Charl cry this episode. By the way, did you watch the Bachelor on Monday night, where like three chicks busted out into impromptu song (including one opera)? It’s break-out-into-song week, yay!

At rehearsal, Kenn decides to go the road less traveled, offering the song opener to Chrystina instead of the obvious choice, Carrie. This makes Chrystina very happy.

Kenn tells us that Chrys hasn’t been creative enough in showing us what she can do with her voice, and hopes she uses this opportunity to the fullest. Tiffanie is all, “she’s not that great a singer, in my opinion.”

For once, Charlye is having problems in the dance studio and Mikey lets loose his particular brand of critical bombardment. Natalie points out Charlye is not used to criticism and she’s letting it stress her out.

Robin is like, “what’s up? You’re a better dancer than this.” Mikey frowns upon her with his Mr. T jewelry from 1985.

Back at the piano, Kenn tells the girls that whoever impresses him the much will get a full hour session with him. Natalie then proceeds to throw her reputation down the drain. It goes roughly as follows:

1. Natalie wants to sing a certain line. Kenn won’t let her have it.

2. Natalie tells Kenn that he has a bad attitude, is feeling negative, and storms out of the room.
3. Natalie sits in a huff with the other group and tells them what happened. The other girls are shocked that she did that to Kenn.

4. Kenn is shocked that Natalie did that to Kenn. Tiffanie says, “to sing in front of Kenn is a privilege, and she walks out? Beyonce doesn’t walk out. Who the heck do you think you are?”
5. Kenn tells the other girls that walking out is the most unprofessional, disrespectful thing you can do. He goes to find Natalie.
6. Kenn: “How could you disrespect me like that?” Natalie says that she was trying to ask him a question in a positive way. This is a lie.

7. Natalie politely asks for Kenn to take his tone down. This is also disrespectful in this situation.
8. Kenn tells Natalie she’s a child and has an ego like she’s not a child. “They fly me across the world and you walk out on me? How dare you.”
9. Natalie looks like a scared puppy and offers an apology. She then gives Kenn an awkward hug.

10. Kenn tells Natalie to apologize to her group.

First of all, how amazing is Kenn Hicks? Second of all, my new favourite thing about Natalie is her loyal dedication to chi. She’s all like, Positive Energy Pollyanna. “I’m trying to do X in a positive way.” “I feel negative energy in the room.” “Please take your tone down.” Natalie feels your low energy and she wants to bring you to a state of calmness. But the truth is, just cause you’re a quiet bitch, it doesn’t make you less of a bitch. You know?

The next day, les filles ship off to Geffen studios to record the first Girlicious track “Leave You Alone”. Nicole Scherzinger stops by to offer encouragement to let their vocal expression shine.

Each girl steps into the booth to lay down their vocals. We get to hear the inspiring lyrics, “Keep trippin’, I don’t wanna keep slippin’, I don’t wanna be bitchin’ I think I might as well leave you alone!” Meaningful? Of course not. This is Girlicious we’re talking about. Plus, I’ve had that part in my head for two days now.

Anyway, Jenna is happy with her performance and looks forward to the day she can record a full album and win Grammys. It’s good to dream.

Carrie kills it, Tiffanie kills it, Chrystina is lifeless, Charlye lets her emotions affect her performance and Natalie comes through with what Robin calls a “surprise attack”. This makes Natalie feel positive energy in the room.

Although Natalie is offered an honourable mention, Tiffanie wins the challenge, which of course means she’ll be safe from elimination.

Look at that face! Tiffanie is a diva in the right way!

Later, Charlye feels more homesick than ever, and gets upset when she can’t use the phone.

Some of the girls feel that Charlye has a command over the phone station and at times, they give up phone time to let her talk to her family. Charlye tells us that since she lost her father, there’s an emotional impact when she can’t talk to her mom in times of need. Later, she crawls into bed and tells Tiffanie that the past few days have been extremely tough and she freaked out when she couldn’t talk to her mother. She explains that when her father died, she was on a college trip and couldn’t get back to be with her family, which has affected her security when she’s away from home.

Tiffanie tells us that Charlye is a strong person and to see her break down was hard. Agreed!

The next day Kenn offers his hour long personal session to Charlye, which the girls are easy to relinquish. Kenn says that he could sense her mind, voice and emotions buckling under the pressure. Charlye feels blessed to have this opportunity and cries again. Let it all out, girl.

All seven girls rehearse the final sequence and it really looks like things are falling apart. Chrystina can’t remember the words, which frustrates Robin and Mikey to great levels. Chrystina’s like, “it was a reality check that ok isn’t good enough.” Ya, really? The only time ok is good enough is when you’re working the late shift at Arbys, and even then you have to make a quality sandwich. But I digress.

The interesting thing about this scene is that although they make it seem like the rehearsal is taking place the night before the big performance, everyone is wearing the same clothes from day one’s rehearsal. Sooo, props to the editing department for creating extra tension, you sneaky buggers.

At sound check, Chrystina is still having some issues and Robin switches Carrie to the lead. Naturally, Chrystina is pissed and feels like crying.

Hey, it’s the theme of the episode. Let it happen.

I love Lil Kim’s face when Mark introduces her, if the editing is honest. She’s so out of it!

Performances! Nichole, Jenna, Natalie and Charlye kick things off with “Emotion”. If by “vocal expression” Robin meant “sing it exactly the way Destiny’s Child did, vocal trills and all”, then these girls were bang on.

Then there’s Carrie, Chrystina, and Tiffanie, leading to the full girl extravaganza with “What A Feeling”:

I gotta admit that I love watching Carrie on stage. She doesn’t over think, she just goes up there and has fun. Plus her legs are supa fiehce.

The judges tell the group that there were moments of greatness and weakness, but overall they were great to watch. They tell Charlye that it was her night, Chrystina was a little off, Jenna was off, and oh yeah - Robin admits her displeasure with Nat’s earlier diva move. The girls go backstage, and nobody is sure who could be eliminated. Chrystina is extra worried that she could…

The judges make their deliberations. Ron thinks that Chrystina isn’t ready to “fly the plane”, and Robin envisions Girlicious to be “firey”, which Jenna just ain’t. The girls come out.

Tiffanie, Carrie, Charlye, Nichole, Natalie are safe. Nat gives her at-danger BFFs a hug before she goes to the safe zone:

That’s her best “I’m actually really happy inside but I’ll pretend I’m sad for my friends” face.

Robin tells Chrystina that she has all the tools to be in a girl group, but she hasn’t shown them all at once. Jenna, meanwhile, has a lot of swagger and cool, but is that right for Girlicious? (No).

And so, it is Jenna who leaves us, one week after almost quitting.

I know it looks like Chrys is the one leaving in that picture, but it’s not true. Anyway, Jenna says she’ll miss her BFFs and that she knows she’s gonna make it.

Sorry Jenna - not everyone is born Girlicious. It’s a fact.

Next week: A clip show?! Oh no you didn’t.

PS: Two things.

1. Props go to the editing team, cause for the first time it wasn’t blatantly obvious who was going home. Up to a certain point it could have been Chrystina, Jenna, Natalie or even Charlye.

2. My first pick for group shoo-in is Nichole, although there’s something I still find off about her. She always addresses a situation with a higher-than-thou comment while over all managing to come across as cute. But in any case, I think she’s a definite.

See you next week!

Previous Recaps:

Episode 1 Weecap
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5

Posted on Wednesday, March 26th, 2008 at 1:25 pm by Mike VK and is filed under We <3 TV.

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