Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious [Episode 8]

April 10th, 2008

After what seemed like eons; after waiting sort of patiently, putting up with a recap episode AND a schedule change, we finally get a new episode. And I only have one thing to say:

Man, it feels good. Trashy and slightly embarrassing, but good. (If you hadn’t noticed, Girlicious is on Thursdays @ 10pm on Much now)

And oh noes! Carrie is the first person to speak in the episode, which is ominous foreshadowing for her future. She mentions the judges’ tendency to point out that she doesn’t necessarily fit in a group (call it the Ilisa Factor, or the Amazonian Taller Than Thou Factor). And don’t think she hasn’t noticed that the judges haven’t once called her “hot”, as she tells Tiffanie.

Then Chrystina, once again fresh off a bottom 2 performance, says that her confidence has taking a beating. Deservedly, she calls her Dad for support, but Charlye storms to the phone booth in anger cause “she called second.” Xtina says she’ll be done in a minute, and Charles stomps off mumbling obscenities.

(Note: this is the episode where Charlye starts to get on my nerves)

PCD Mail! This week’s theme is STAR QUALITY. As in, none of these girls truly have STAR QUALITY. (Don’t hate. Beyonce has Star Quality. Jennifer Lopez has Star Quality. Tiffanie has Sell A Few Records And Disappear, Like Those Girls From Sugar Jones Quality).

Anyhoosiers, Robin doles out the song assignments and SHOCKER, Chrystina finds herself in a group with Charlye and Tiffanie. She is less than pleased.

In fact, she confesses that she’s “weakened by it.” On the other hand, Charlye enjoys the fact that they’re an “all black girl group”, but “there’s a lot of things about Chrystina I don’t necessarily care for.” Oh yeah, so these girls will be singing “Thirteen Men”, an old timey lounge song. The other group – Natalie, Carrie and Nichole – will be singing “Sway”, another old timey song and a PCD favourite.

Chrystina goes to Natalie in tears, saying for the first time in the competition, she doesn’t know what to do. Also, she continually uses the word “fustrated”.

Natalie gives her big hugs and tells Xtina, “it’s you and me. We’re in this together.” You know, I gotta hand it to Natalie. Despite her sometimes cockiness and bitchy tendencies, if you’re on her good side I think she’d be an excellent friend. She’s been nothing but a constant support system for her allies in the house.

At rehearsal, Carrie starts her descent into the abyss – she starts to over-sing “Sway”, which is a sultry song. In fact, she gets a wee bit scary.

Not quite Linda Blair scary, but close.

Mikey announces that she’s way too loud – she needs to blend with the group. “Is Carrie a blender or is Carrie a stand-alone artist?” he says.

At team war zone’s practice, Chrystina is having obvious problems while Tiffanie tells us that she may not like Xtina, but she will act cordial around her. Also: “I hope she messes up. I know that sounds bad, but I don’t give a sh*t.” I don’t know if “cordial in person” counts if you’re wishing failure upon them in your head? You can’t hide a death stare.

Robin notices that something’s up and reminds the girls that this could potentially be the group. “You have to bond. If you want this, you have to work really, really hard,” she says. True story.

The next day, a mystery van collects the girls and takes them to a mystery location. “It’s kind of like getting abducted!” says Nichole. I for one have never been excited about that scenario, but you know, to each her own. Anyway, the girls pull up to a big wharf. (It’s more of a dock, but wharf is way more fun to say). Robin meets them with exciting news: it’s time to shoot a video! “We’re gonna find out if the camera loves you,” she says. Natalie is happy.

Robin’s brother Steve is introduced as the director. Fun facts: Steve was in The Goonies as Troy, he once dated David Geffen AND he uses Robin’s plastic surgeon.

Mikey whisks the girls off to learn choreography in 20 minutes. Carrie isn’t too fond of this idea and later has some issues keeping up with the rest of the girls during a group shoot.

Steve Antin is all, “forget about the choreography, everybody look at my shiny bullhorn!”

Chrystina struggles as well, finding it difficult to stand out in the back. Charlye keeps blocking her shot, to which she says, “bitch please, I’m workin’ this sh*t.”

Everybody breaks for lunch, which consists of a healthy pile of fried chicken.

Is that really what they’re feeding girls on a show with a premise which basically starts and stops at “be as sexy as possible”? In that case, bring on the deep fried Mars Bars, y’all!

Chrystina is upset that the crew loved Charlye while she was stuck struggling in the back. Natalie poses the question, “What if the group is you, Charlye and Nichole, and they make Charlye the star? How emotionally draining would that be?”

Chrystina admits that it would be hard to take. “I’ve always been a leader … never in the background. I kinda feel intimidated a little bit.”

Next, the girls shoot solo bits. Natalie kicks it off…

Whoa.

Carrie and Chrystina have the most trouble, as is the trend this episode. Both have lip syncing problems and seem somewhat stressed. Charlye tells us that Chrystina didn’t look hot, and she (Charlye) was the only girl who was fearless. Here I realize that she’s getting perhaps too confident, and is reaching Natalie levels of self love.

Later Robin surprises them with a rough cut of the video, and adding more salt to Chrystina’s wounds … Charlye wins immunity. The girls retire to their separate boudoirs and a cross-cutting montage begins.

Tiff (to Charlye): “It’s us against them, you know that.”
Nat (to Chrystina): “We all did a good job. You looked really hot on camera, did you see that? I thought I looked whatever.” (Wait… WHAT? Can we rewind that?) “I thought I looked whatever.” (NATALIE? IS THAT YOU?! My budding affection for you is both confusing and unnecessary).
Charlye (to camera): “Y’all are weird. Y’all are messed up in the head.”
Natalie:

Charlye: I’m tired of this war. I’m not fighting the Iraqis. I’m just trying to make it into Girlicious.

Back to rehearsals! Kenn tells Carrie that she can’t be all rock vocal, all the time. He’s right, you know. Kenn tells the camera that for once, he sees Carrie afraid of the music. The groups switch and once again, Chrystina struggles as a result of being over-stressed. After practice, she pulls Kenn aside to voice her concerns about being in a group with haters. He suggests that she use all her frustrated energy towards singing, which Chrys appreciates. She runs off to find Natalie, who says:

Um.. maybe Natalie is… TOO… good a friend? POLL TIME: Please tell me, how many of you have taken a bath with your friend? Over the age of 8, I mean. And I only say 8 because I was forced to take a bath with my friend at that age, which was highly awkward and uncomfortable at the time.

Anyway, Chrys and Nat skip off to take a bubble bath together, where they discuss how good of friends they are and how they’re like kindred spirits. It’s kind of like an episode of Anne of Green Gables but with less petticoats and more push-up bras on the floor.

Meanwhile, Nichole searches the house for Natalie cause it’s time to rehearse. SHOCKER, she finds the bath buddies, which pisses her off because it is NOT THE TIME FOR TUB PLAY. She reports back to Carrie, who is incredulous because they both think that Natalie needs a lot more practice than her relaxation implies.

This is Pissed Off Nichole:

Scary!

Meanwhile, Chrystina is feeling refreshed not only from a long soak, but from Kenn’s advice and Natalie’s support, and feels that her confidence has been replenished.

Show time! Mark spews his usual “the girl who gives the weakest performance will be going home”, and how obvious can they be when they show Carrie at that exact moment? Nice job on the editing this episode. And by nice, I mean way to pretty much just tell us who’s going home from minute one.

Tiffanie, Charlye and Chrystina are up first with “Thirteen Men”. It’s pretty much the same set-up as last season when the girls sang “Fever” – you know, sailors, girls on swings, the whole get-up. Even the hot cop stripper outfits.

PS: Seriously, watch “Fever” from last season. Why the eff are there no Chelseas this time around?!

Also: I gotta say that Tiffanie is quite good at changing up her vocals to meet the mood of the song, yes?

Nichole, Natalie and Carrie immediately follow with “Sway”.

Look, I’m just gonna say it. I think that Natalie is a perfect fit for this group, despite her shortcomings. Her voice is like early Madonna or non-raspy Britney, (pitch problems can be tweaked by Pro Tools in the studio); she looks good and dances well. So there you have it.

In other news, Robyn is like, in love with Nichole when she sings:

The judges love Tiffanie, Charlye and Nichole, and Lil Kim tells Chrystina, “tonight was your night.” (Doesn’t Lil Kim say that to someone every week?) Suddenly, Natalie looks like she could be out of the running when Ron Fair says that it looks like she’s holding back. And he tells Carrie that her performance was “blank”. Uh oh.

Natalie is sad about her feedback.

The girls go backstage and Chrystina feels amazing. Meanwhile, Natalie is freaking out a little bit while Carrie jokes around about being a solo artist. Wow, she’s taking her possible elimination very well.

The judges deliberate. The girls return to the stage. Charlye, Nichole, Tiffanie, and Chrystina are safe. Wow, there was a whole lotta Xtina in this episode and minimal Natalie, and here’s Natalie in the bottom 2 with Carrie? Chrystina does not concur.

Meanwhile, Carrie is still taking the whole thing VERY WELL.

I’ve never seen anybody so excited to be in the bottom 2!

The judges wonder if a girl group is the best way to share Carrie’s talents with the world, and tell Natalie they’re not sure if she’s quite ready. But they save Natalie, which means our chipper, always well-tempered, always happy, party hardy Carrie will go home.

And never has anyone been so good-natured about it. God, I love her. She may not have blended with the group, but she definitely BLENDED WITH OUR HEARTS!!! *sob*

Next week: Tension! Media tour!! Shock of their lives!!!

Previous Recaps:

Episode 1 Weecap
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 7 (Clip show)

Posted on Thursday, April 10th, 2008 at 11:00 pm by Wendy and is filed under We <3 TV.