I see dead dresses
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The king of covers
February 1st, 2006
[Editor’s Note: Joey “Monstrous” Case, one of the producers of MuchOnDemand, is the latest MuchCrew member to offer up his unique insights to the world. Enjoy.]
I forgot to wear a belt today and my pants keep falling down and now my armpits are sweating so I have to keep looking at my underarms in the mirror to see if anybody can tell. Although, if I’m so worried about people noticing my armpit sweat soaking through my shirt, why am I telling the whole world about it right now?
And how do you check to see if your breath is fresh or not? That whole breathing into your hand thing is stupid … I mean, are you smelling your hand or your breath? And if your breath “sticks” to your hand, isn’t that a bad sign? I keep a toothbrush at work, but now I’m scared to use it because I think someone may have dipped it in the toilet. I wonder what would be worse … drinking from the toilet or drinking from a urinal … I’m guessing the urinal because dudes never flush them properly.
Yikes … a super hot girl just walked by … JACKPOT! What’s the difference between looking, staring and leering? Leering sounds creepy … I hope she doesn’t think that I’m leering at her. Staring sounds bad too. Looking sounds like I’m thinking of buying something. Okay, she just went to get some water so I can stop leering, staring or looking … whatever the hell it is I was just doing. Wouldn’t it be funny if she read this and had noticed me leering? Since I wrote about it, is it now technically stalking? Oh my God … maybe writing this down wasn’t such a smart idea.
I’m going to eat my lunch.