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Warning: this contains spoilers!!!

Mary Jane Watson always seems to be falling from some tall building, plummeting to her death, only to be swooped to safety at the last second by Spiderman. If you haven’t seen this scenario enough, you totally have to watch Spiderman 3. Or, you can just watch Spiderman 1 and 2 again, which are better…. but, then you’d be missing EMO SPIDERMAN! How can you tell if Spiderman is Emo Spiderman? Well, if Peter Parker has his hair swooped back, he’s good spiderman. If his bangs are falling in his face like Pete Wentz, he’s Emo Spiderman. Emo Spiderman = evil.

Spiderman 3 is less about Spiderman and more about Peter Parker turning into a big jerk. He murders, dabbles in domestic violence and doesn’t pay his rent on time. Fortunately, the bad guy is good, so there’s balance.

The bad guy.. er guys- there’s 2 in this movie are pretty cool. Sandman gets bigger and badder with every sandbox he consumes and venom has some really bitey looking teeth. Too bad he never thought to use them to bite faces off his enemies. The bad guys and the fights are the best part of this movie. If you edited out most of the love triangle scenes and that f’d up montage of Emo Peter Parker shimming through the streets of New York, you’d have a 1/2 decent, 1/2 hour movie.

Alright, so Spiderman 3 = not as good as 1 and 2. Good enemies, good fights, boring storyline, too long. I give it two stars outta 5- one for each enemy.

Posted on Saturday, May 5th, 2007 at 7:19 pm by Unknown and is filed under Just For Fun.

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