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Who’s ready to Rock The Cradle?! I saaaaid WHO’S READY TO ROCK THE CRADLE?!!! After seeing Jesse Money’s dramatic behind-the-scenes exit at the beginning of this episode, I most certainly am. She was cursing, screaming, slamming things…

…she even trashed her dressing room!

What a bratty beyotch that one was… Good riddance, I say.

We’ll find out who goes home at the end of this episode, but first, let’s get to some performances. This week, everyone sings one of their parent’s hits. Should be interesting.

1. Crosby Loggins: Kenny Loggins’ “I’m Alright”

Nicely done, Crosby. He finally brings up the energy, interacts with the audience and gets all up in the judges’ grills. He sounded good too and actually looked like he was having fun for once. Except for a few awkward “hardcore” hand movements, I think it was his best performance yet.

I give this performance an 8.5.

Belinda Carlisle: 7.5
Jamie King: 7.5
June Ambrose: 10
Larry Rudolph: 9
Total: 34

2. Jesse Snider: Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Going To Take It”

Oh Jesse, Jesse… Jesse. This performance was one hot mess. The acoustic touch was nice, but then the smashing of the guitar and the manic turn into rock totally threw off his vocals and everything just seemed rushed. He was more concerned with taking off his various layers of clothing than he was about singing the damn song. But then again, the entertainment factor was incredibly high and the audience loved it. I have a feeling the judges will love it too.

I give this performance an 8.

Belinda: 9
Jamie: 9.5
June: 9.5
Larry: 9.5
Total: 37.5

3. Chloe Lattanzi: Olivia Newton John’s “I Honestly Love You”

Speaking of being honest, Chloe does not have the best voice. It lacks strength, but there is something about her that is interesting. This rocker arrangement of her mom’s sweet hit ballad was pretty good and the back-up dancers was a nice touch. If this was recorded and put on the radio, I think it could be a hit. I just think Chloe needs to step up her game a bit, vocal-wise. But she’s loosening up looks to be having more fun, which is nice.

I give it an 8.5.

Belinda: 10
Jamie: 9
June: 9.5
Larry: 7.5
Total: 36

4. Lara Johnston: Doobie Brothers’ “Long Train Runnin’”

Eek. Although she is completely cute and charming, she sounds poopy. Totally pitchy and uninspired. What happened, Lara? I appreciate the reggae approach, but wow, I was not liking this - not much more to say.

I give this performance a harsh 6.5.

Belinda: 8
Jamie: 7
June: 7
Larry: 8.5
Total: 30.5

5. Lil B. Sure: Al B. Sure’s “Nite and Day”

One thing I’m sure of is that I’m not a Lil B. Sure fan. He’s too ridiculous for me to handle. The grinding on his knees, the denim jacket that is only on one arm, the trying-to-be-ironic 80s sunglasses (only Lucy Walsh can pull that look off well) - it’s all beyond bunk. But maybe I’m just still put off by Lara’s performance.

Either way, I give this performance a 6.

Belinda: 5
Jamie: 5
June: 5
Larry: 6.5
Total: 21.5

6. Landon Brown: Bobby Brown’s “My Prerogative”

Um, what just happened there? You see, Landon Brown kind of has this natural sexy thing about him, but he definitely doesn’t have the vocal chops. His voice lacks any sort of control or power and now he’s just soley going for the “vote for my abs” tactic. And how come he didn’t sing the chorus? I’m so confused by all this that I just need for him to leave the show. But again, he looked good. It’s a shame really… I think the judges will tear it apart.

I give this performance a weak, weak 5.

Belinda: 4
Jamie: 3
June: 2.5
Larry: 4.5
Total: 14

7. Lucy Walsh: The Eagles’ “Life in the Fast Lane”

Vocally, I have to say that Lucy is probably one of the best in the competition, in that when she first started singing, she sounded spot on. Her stamina is a bit low though - you could hear her hit vocal fatigue near the end - but she still is one of the most promising competitors on this entire show. This performance was just “good” overall and I hope she sticks around. She has stage presence, a good voice and a sassy and fun personality that shines through.

I give this performance a 8.

Belinda: 7.5
Jamie: 6
June: 7.5
Larry: 7.5
Total: 28.5

So it’s A’Keiba Burrell-Hammer who gets sent home but not before she is quickly swallowed up into a massive group hug.

It is sad she got the boot though. I liked her. Her father, MC Hammer, called her a “classy woman” and I think that hits the nail right on the head. She honestly seems sweet and I dig that. Unlike Jesse Money, A’Keiba took the news well and, also unlike Jesse Money, A’Keiba will be missed.

So that brings us to the end of Episode 3. But one final observation: How weird are those celebrity parents? Like, why are they all wearing sunglasses inside a darkened studio?

They are a breed I will never fully understand…

Oh, and love ‘im or hate ‘im, Jesse Snider is “Untouchable” once again. DRAMA!

Previous Recaps:

Episode 2
Episode 1

Posted on Monday, May 5th, 2008 at 2:59 pm by Soja and is filed under We <3 TV.

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