MuchMusic.com | Blog

This week on Rock The Cradle: Judges’ Pick! So I gather it will be a lot of predictable Top 40 drivel…

What I love about this show is that they show the backstage drama at the “after parties.” It’s so contrived that I love every second of it. Bring on the ridiculousness!

Wow - they really know how to stretch this shit out. All the contestants will be performing a song, and then just the remaining 3 will sing a second song. Alright, you’re making me listen to endless performances, Rock The Cradle, so I say, “Bring it on!”

1. Crosby Loggins: Weezer’s Beverly Hills

I’m going to be a bit harsh here, simply because I’m not a fan of this song in general. I love Weezer, but this is by far one of their worst. Crosby here did a decent job, he was trying something new, getting the crowd into it - but it was all a bit silly. The dancers were out of place and the back-up singers were off, but Crosby was aiight.

But Jamie King (he’s back!) thought it was “awesome.”

2. Jesse Snider: Jet’s Are You Going To Be My Girl

Oh, Jesse. The song is great and the he sounded good - it was a bit of a different style than we’re used to seeing from him, so it was a refreshing change. But you could tell he was a bit uncomfortable with it and the insincere “thank you to the band who can play anything, on behalf of the entire cast” really crapped up his entire performance. It interesting to see when the guy who comes off as the most cocky and confident has these glimmers of vulnerability.

It’s also nice that Belinda Carlisle stood up for herself after Jesse called her a Nazi, by telling him that she knows what she’s talking about since she’s been making music for 30 years. Good on ya, Belinda.

3. Lara Johnston: Fergie’s Big Girls Don’t Cry

This is also a very good pop song and it suits Lara’s voice well, but no matter how cute you are, it doesn’t mean that you’re meant to be a star. She might have decent vocals, but there is something about her that just doesn’t pop out at you - that “it” factor that everyone seems to be talking about is lacking. I’m guessing she’ll be going home tonight. But she seems very sweet, so that sucks.

But June Ambrose is proud of Lara (but maybe just because Lara wore the high heels that she had picked out for her).

4. Lucy Walsh: Evanescence’s My Immortal

It’s no secret that I love the Luce. This performance was kind of no different from last week, but if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right? The song is good and I actually preferred this to the Evanescence version. Go figure.

Larry Rudolph really liked it. He would’ve given her an 11. I would’ve given her my hand in marriage (I kid, I kid… sort of).

5. Chloe Lattanzi: Britney Spears’ Toxic

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: chloe is so wierd - and I like it. This turned out to be a good song for her because (a) it is one of the best pop songs of the last 10 years, (b) it’s kind of weird, just like Chloe, and (c) it wasn’t as dark as her previous performances, so that was a nice change. The male model tied up on stage was a nice touch as well. Vocally, it wasn’t the greatest, but in terms of energy and showmanship, she pulled it off.

Larry thinks Chloe “made it her own.” I’d have to agree.

Judgement time! Who’s going home? Well, we know who isn’t, since he was ‘untouchable’ last week, so Crosby is safe and gets to sing again. Yawn.

6. Crosby Loggins: The Fray’s Over My Head (Cable Car)

Oh wow, what a boooooring song. But Crosby is breaking out of shell. Entering the audience is a smart move - people love that crap (but maybe just ’cause it means they’ll be on TV), and he’s dressed well (a little bit Justin Timberlake-esque). You know Cougar June Ambrose will be slobbering all over him.

I give this performance a 9.

Belinda: 10
Jamie: 8.5
June: 10
Larry: 9.5
Total: 38

See? June says, “the fire will continue to burn.” Yeah, in her loins! Zing!

7. Chloe Lattanzi: Sheryl Crow’s The First Cut Is The Deepest

That was sweet. The big throne she was sitting on was a bit odd, but it’s Chloe we’re talking about here - the show’s resident oddball. But there were some genuine smiles in there and she seemed comfortable and she sung it well.

I give this performance an 8.

Belinda: 8
Jamie: 7
June: 8.5
Larry: 8.5
Total: 32

Oh. My. God. I can’t believe this is happening: Lucy Walsh and Jesse Snider, the two people who I said from episode 1 were my favourites, are now facing elimination. One will stay and one will go home. I’m thinking Jesse will stay, but I’d prefer if Lucy did… Who will it be?! (PS: Based on this pic, they could be brother and sister. It’s creepin’ me out).

NOOOOOO!!!! Lucy is going home! Oh well. At the end of the day, does anyone care about these people anyway? (Well, besides the parents - and even that’s questionable).

Larry says that America got it wrong. Take THAT, America!

8. Jesse Snider: The Living End’s Prisoner of Society

Um, Jacob Hoggard? Did Jesse steal your voice? But here’s the thing with Jesse - he’s an entertainer. He’s over-the-top, ripping off his jacket, jumping up on the judges’ stage, doing flips and getting the crowd riled up. It was a good song choice for this guy. I think he might win it all.

Belinda: 10
Jamie: 10
June: 10
Larry: 9
Total: 39

Oh My God, June. She’s such a hussy. She’s drooling all over these guys. Get it together, Woman!

So here we have the Rock The Cradle Final 3: Crosby, Chloe & Jesse. Who will take home the gold? Well, we’ll find out at next week’s finale. Ciao!

Previous Recaps:

Episode 4
Episode 3
Episode 2
Episode 1

Posted on Wednesday, May 21st, 2008 at 10:00 am by Soja and is filed under We <3 TV.

Related Articles:

• Rock The Cradle Recap - Episode 3
• Rock The Cradle Recap - Episode 2
• Rock The Cradle Recap - Episode 4
• Rock The Cradle Recap - Episode 1
• Rock The Cradle Recap - Episode 6 [Finale]