Secrets revealed behind Gaga and Beyonce’s ‘Telephone’

March 18th, 2010

telephone

Attempting to explain the Lady Gaga persona is very mind-boggling and difficult. Some say she is bizarre, weird, or out of this world. With the much anticipated release of her music video (or short film since it was almost 10 minutes long!) with Beyoncé for Telephone, it reached over one million views in less than 24 hours since it released on YouTube. As soon as that happened, crazed and obsessed fans and even the regular pop culture examiners began to deconstruct every little detail Gaga had put into this music video for her little monsters to growl and snarl at.

Since I dare to call myself one of Gaga’s little monster, with the help of many researchers, (buzzfeed.com, metro.co.uk, adage.com, theatlantic.com, and Meghan Vicks, who got a shout out from Lady Gaga’s Twitter about her analysis, so I suggest you go read it!) I was able to investigate this video without the loss of hair, eye sight, sleep, and coffee beans. I’d say that is a big accomplishment! So here are 10 explanations for each minute of the video! Not literally, that would be crazy talk! Also some little hidden surprises.

1. Jail entrance
Okay, I have to admit, I forgot this video was in relation to the Paparazzi music video. It was also directed by the same guy, Jonas Akerlund. Lady Gaga arrives in county jail ‘prison for bitches’ on February 11, 2010. Remember she poisoned her boyfriend, called 911, and then took her mug shots? This is probably why she is in jail being escorted by two female bodybuilders, one of them being Ms. Mann from Scary Movie! As she is making her way down to her cell, you can see the great use of Tiger Wood’s mistresses. Zing! Apparently one of them is adult actress Alektra Blue. Once Lady Gaga reaches her cell, the hermaphrodite rumours are finally addressed as one of the guards coins the memorable quote “I told you she didn’t have a dick.” I like your sense of humour, Gaga. Discussion- why was she stripped in the first place? Metaphorically speaking of stripping away persona?

2. Exercise yard/Roll the product placements…
Lady Gaga is brought out to the exercise yard with lit cigarette sunglasses and an outfit made of chains. How does she see in those things?! The song you hear on the radio during that scene is indeed a song by Lady Gaga called Paper Gangsta. The song is about female empowerment, which we can see by this prison. Product one: Gaga’s HeartBeats headphones from Beats by Dr. Dre. Gaga gets her exercise on by using her lips on one of her fellow female (yes that is a female, took me a while too) prisoner. Product two: Virgin Mobile cell phone. Shout out to the mobile sponsor of Gaga’s Monster Ball Tour! Discussion- what do you think of the cigarette sunglasses? A cloudy veil? Aren’t cigarettes a type of currency in prison?

3. Fight scene/Yay, finally the music starts…
Did you do a double take with the girl standing beside Lady Gaga in the prison? Did you think they look very much alike? That is because this girl is Gaga’s younger sister, Natali Germanotta! She is styled very reminiscent of an earlier, dark-haired version of Gaga. Not only does she stand beside her superstar sister but she also engages in a fight with another fellow female prisoner. Why didn’t she win? I was so rooting for her! Product three: Diet Coke cans. This was apparently homage to her mother who used this technique for grooming in the seventies. Product four: Chanel sunglasses. Just another tribute to her great fashion sense. Discussion- does Gaga’s sister represent leaving her former self behind? What type of person does this former self represent?

4. Dance sequence number 1/Nice body girl!
The song finally has begun and of course Lady Gaga is sporting a studded bikini. She does a dance sequence with some backup dancers she brought because her fellow female prisoners are trying to learn this dance in their cells. It’s the next big thing after the success of the Bad Romance dance. She is also sporting some crime scene tape as an outfit, which was custom made by Brian Lictenberg. It appears that this was a nod to David LaChappelle, who shot her for Rolling Stone and the limited-edition copies of The Fame Monster. Discussion- too skinny? Too much Gaga booty or not enough? Learned the dance yet?

5. Enter Beyoncé’s acting skills
This is the climax of the music video as Lady Gaga is set free from jail! Woo! Product five: “Beats Limited Edition” laptop from Hewlett Packard. This is one of the products that were unpaid extensions of Gaga’s marketing partnerships. Product six: PlentyofFish.com. This is an actual online dating site, which has some relation to Gaga’s marketing team. The VP of the dating site, Kimberly Kaplan, “admitted that the brand was ‘nervous’ without creative input, but very pleased with the outcome.” A lot of viewers were probably wondering if this site was real as Plenty of Fish.com has seen a 15% increase in search. Way to go Gaga – caring about people’s dating life! Did you hear the guard refer to Beyoncé as some idiot who bails out Gaga? Lady, watch what you’re saying because she can run over you with that Pussy Wagon! Yes, it is the exact same one Uma Thurman uses in Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill. Who knew these two are friends and discussed this idea over a lunch date?! As Gaga is leaving the prison she pays tribute to Michael Jackson by doing an inspired shuffle.

After Beyoncé scolds Gaga for being a ‘very very bad bad girl’ a Honey Bun is being shared among the two. This is reference to another of Quentin Tarantino’s films, Pulp Fiction, as Gaga gives Beyoncé’s nick name: Honey B. She’s allowed to do that since Beyoncé killed Sasha Fierce and since they already shot Beyoncé’s music video for Videophone, they are on a nickname-based relationship. Discussion – does Gaga’s impression of Michael Jackson as she is let out of prison indicate something, such as kissing him goodbye? Too much shout outs/homage/tributes?

6. Escape to a… diner?
Insert more acting skills by the two in the Pussy Wagon and more memorable quotes to put on Twitter statuses and shirts. How many times have you heard “Once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger” or “Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if its broke/but you can still see the crack in that motherf*cker’s reflection”? Product seven: Polaroid camera. Of course this was to promote Gaga’s new role as the company’s creative director. Beyoncé belts out her part of the song as Gaga creepily takes pictures of her. They reach the diner and it is the same one from the TV show NCIS. Tyrese Gibson plays the role of Honey B’s honey… haha. He is very pissed off at her for making him wait. She gets the opportunity to pour poison in his coffee as he gets up to push a man around and slap a girl’s behind. The reaction was apparently a referral to a popular Japanese anime called “One Piece.” Discussion- why Tyrese Gibson, what has he got to promote? Has Beyoncé switched to Gaga’s murderous ways?

7. Poison TV/Beyoncé dancing in a secluded bedroom
Gaga was really thinking of us little monsters during this video, wasn’t she? Teaching us how to make sandwiches and poison, oh Gaga, you shouldn’t have. Product eight: Wonder Bread. Gaga’s manager said Gaga wanted ‘to juxtapose the poison sequence with all-American brands, and suggest Wonder Bread for an unpaid placement.’ Product nine: Miracle Whip. This was a confirmed paid appearance but no further comments. I like how Lady Gaga can multi-task by dancing another dance sequence, making a sandwich, eating it, singing on the phone and the song all at the same time! Meanwhile, Beyoncé is chilling in a room with a bed and a phone all by herself. She is missing out on some Poison TV! The poisons included in the recipe are Fex-M3, which is from the Star Wars extended universe, Meta-cyanide is from Dune, and Tiberium is from Command and Conquer.

Back to the diner where Lady Gaga serves Tyrese the honey containing the poison and watches along with her accomplice as Tyrese pours it all over his food and begins to choke and die. Discussion- does this video commercialize murder too much? How could they have incorporated more of Beyoncé instead of the bedroom?

8. Begin the mass murder
The countdown starts with a spelling mistake, as ‘Ein’ is supposed to be spelled as ‘Eins’, meaning ‘one’ in German. As people slurp, choke, cough, and gag their way through death, Beyoncé puts on her sunglasses, which were also sported by Gaga in the Paparazzi video. You have a really keen eye if you noticed the dog, who also dies with the consumers. Her name is Lava, a Great Dane who was featured in Gaga’s Poker Face and Bad Romance videos. Discussion- does Lava’s tail wag when it realizes she is shooting another Lady Gaga video? Was the showing of the chewed up food too much?

9. Cue the American themed and last dance sequence/awkward looking Beyoncé edits
As the video is coming to an end, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé, and the dancers all break out into more choreography to learn. Did you realize that while they are dancing, the diner is surrounded by ‘dead’ bodies and dog? Great way to ruin one ‘normal’ scene out of the entire video! Discussion- doesn’t Beyoncé look funny in the way they edited her in the bedroom? How long do you think the extras had to lay there for the dance number to complete?

10. To be continued…
The Pussy Wagon is back and speeding off into somewhere ‘far far away from here.’ Before that though, Gaga finds time to dress in a cheetah suit and dance in front of it, reminding everyone of Shania Twain’s outfit in her video for That Don’t Impress Me Much. Oh and one more product placement by Polaroid’s photo booth. The video then shows a news report of the mass homicide presented by news reporter Jai Rodriguez, who is a former “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” culture expert. Notice that the scrolling at the bottom of the news report is the lyrics to Telephone in Swedish! The last shout out/tribute goes to a film called Thelma & Louise as Lady Gaga and Beyoncé clasp hands and drive off into the unknown. Jonas Akerlund teases us viewers with a ‘To be continued’ and that concluded the video. Roll the credits! Discussion- are you excited for a sequel to this hot mess? Did you even see all that was mentioned or was there so much of it, you missed it all?

Closing thoughts
Wow. Who would have thought that there was this much to analyze in one video that is a little less than 10 minutes? I think you would only expect this type of production by Lady Gaga and only her because of the extreme attempts at being different we see being portrayed by everything she does. She sticks true to herself and I have to say this has got to be one of my favourite videos. Britney Spears was actually wanted by Gaga to sing the duet instead of Beyoncé but she refused. Too bad Britney. Maybe next time?

Other little bits and pieces to consider/discuss
o Animated “Smack!” and “Wroom!” take you back to “Batman” TV series days
o Double-Breasted Drive-Thru logo on the cup during the ride in the Pussy Wagon, reference to something on funnyordie.com?
o Bettie Page look on Beyoncé repeated (used in Videophone music video)
o Semi Precious Weapons: Gaga’s tour mates appear in the diner scenes
o Controversy of the misspelling of ‘House of Gaga,’ should it be “Haus of Gaga”?
o Censorship: why is Beyoncé’s ‘motherf*cker’ bleeped while Lady Gaga’s isn’t?
o The ‘Ok’ hand sign
o Connection between song and video?
o There were more un-filmed scenes!