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January 9th, 2012
If nothing else, this post will prove some people will believe anything. We all heard the good news about the latest addition to the seven billion people on the planet: little Blue Ivy arrived in the world, the baby girl of Beyonce and Jay-Z. But since it’s the digital age, even something as wonderful as the birth of a baby can’t exist without a few conspiracy theories. So let the Twitter rumours begin!
Theory 1 (the most “you-have-too-much-time-on-your-hands-to-come-up-with-this” theory): The baby is really a marketing tool to promote Jay-Z’s next album. The rapper released The Blueprint in 2001, The Blueprint 2 (The Gift & The Curse) in 2002, and The Blueprint 3 in 2009. So, if someone wants to insanely read into the couple’s first born child’s name as a marketing ploy, then the child has been named Blue 4 (Ivy read as I-V, the Roman numeral for 4). Which would promote the as of yet untitled album Jay-Z is recording with producer Q-Tip, of which three songs are already finished (one featuring Frank Ocean).
Theory 2 (the most “this-could-be-true” theory): The child’s name is actually just Blue, and the Ivy part is actually I-V, as in the number 4. The number 4 holds a special meaning for the couple: April 4 is their anniversary, 4 is Beyonce’s fourth album (and her first since separating from her father), September 4 is Beyonce’s birthday, December 4 is Jay-Z’s birthday and January 4 is Beyonce’s mother’s birthday. So, as a theory, this would make sense if they wanted to incorporate the number in their child’s name. It’s way more meaningful than naming your daughter Apple.
Theory 3 (the most “good-grief-you-need-to-seriously-delete-your-twitter-account-to-save-the-rest-of-us-from-your-WTF-ness” theory): Their child is either the latest addition to the Illuminati or the daughter of Satan. FOR THE RECORD, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO CREDIBLE EVIDENCE OF THIS OUT THERE. Just wanted to point that out before you read further.
Apparently, there was some confusion over the name of the baby yesterday, with some news outlets reporting the name as Ivy Blue. Which then launched the worst conspiracy theory of them all. Some Tweeters allege if you spell the name backwards, it reads Eulb Yvi, which allegedly translates from Latin as Lucifer’s daughter. Thank God (no pun intended) that other tweeters are fighting back and posting reasons as to why there’s no shred of truth to this.
And then came the acronyms. More tweeters decided the name actually stood for “Illuminati’s Very Youngest” (IVY) and “Born Living Under Evil“. Rumours that Jay-Z is a secret Illuminatus aside, there’s no credible evidence any parent in the world would name their children these sentences.
So that’s the craziness. But one thing’s for sure: Baby Beyonce is already make headlines, right from her birth. Imagine when she learns to sing!Tweet