Stars Are Blind

June 21st, 2006

Paris Hilton – her lack of common sense and obliviousness leave even Ozzy Osbourne and Zsa-Zsa Gabor shaking their finely-coiffed heads in amazement. Aside from the blindingly obvious, there was that time she went to Austria to promote sparkling wine in a can (I don’t know the brand name but if I were to guess Vin de Trash Blanc, I don’t think I’d be too far off), oh and that time she jumped into her pool after a garden light had fallen in (there’s nothing funny about being electrocuted unless it’s Paris Hilton…) So understand that I’m aware of how calling Paris Hilton a complete moron is like pointing out that Christina Aguilera owns too much red lipstick or that Tom Cruise is INSANE; however, she continues to amaze me in what seems to be her neverending quest to surpass each idiotic “Parisian” interlude with something even better.

That being said…let us view Paris’ latest foray into the entertainment world – where money can buy everything except class and an original idea:

Now I know what you’re thinking…when that handsome devil dragged her out into the ocean, why couldn’t he have held her under? Or maybe the real question is how can one watch a video with so much water and still come out feeling so very dirty? Well said, my friend, well said.

At first I was convinced this was just a huge rip-off of bad Calvin Klein ads from the 90′s but then it occurred to me! Yes it’s a rip-off – but of one of my all-time favourite music videos, which for comparison’s sake I present to you now – it’s Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game”:

Well I guess if you’re going to rip something off, you should aim high(er) but I think in trying to reach new heights Paris must have bumped her head while crawling out from under that table because something was clearly lost in the translation.

However in losing the battle, I believe Ms. Hilton has won the war because I have watched her video more times than I care to admit trying to figure out exactly WHY I hate it so much…

Well played, Ms. Hilton, well played. I toast you with my can of sparkling wine.

Posted on Wednesday, June 21st, 2006 at 2:58 pm by Emma and is filed under Blog.