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Watch Love Court Fridays @ 6pm ET & On Demand at muchmusic.com/lovecourt

Sally Kardashian, we find you guilty of motivated assault with wasabi, of not knowing how trick hand cuffs work and for generally being a stone cold bitch… I salute you. Santa’s obnoxious little helper, we find you guilty of using the Jonas Brothers as your model for manhood… for staring at the sushi girl instead of your date’s California rolls, and lastly for 18 counts of grand douchebaggery. So, who gets the money? Sally Kardashian or Jonas Bother? The person being rewarded with $500 is…no one!!! We find you both guilty of crimes against love… thank you, your honour.

ELISE: Jury…
TANIA: This is bad.
ELISE: Have you made your decision?
DINI: Yes, of course we have your honor. Ryan Shortscrest, we find you guilty of having the right bod, in the wrong clothes.
RYAN: Ohhh.
DINI: And you, Tania. We find you guilty of having questionable bangs. However, we find your body quite bangable.
DINI: That means you, Spray Tania, will recieve $500 to keep up that artificial glow. And that means we find you, Ryan No-Pants, guilty of crimes against love. You certainly did not wear the pants in this relationship. That will be all your honor.

ELISE: Jury! Have you made your decision?
Dini: have we jury? Yes your honour, we most certainly have. We the jury have found you, Donatella Versnatchy, guilty of wearing less lipgloss than your date and having the sex appeal of a pterodactyl.
DAVID: is she talking to me?
Dini: silence! Do not sass me in this court young man, I will not stand for it.
DAVID: I just thought…
Dini: shut it! Take a visit to shutty town and stay there! Thank you. Ps Donatella versnatchy, I would like to know, who taught you to dance, heidi Montag? I don’t need an answer. Its your turn, gerkin tinybulch. We find you guilty of not getting nicci drunk enough to like you. And for doing a very adult dance in children’s underwear. The jury fully decided to award you, bootleg tim deegan the $500, but then you sassed me. So guess what, if you want the money you’re going to have to get naked for it. That includes taking off the pickle panties. Now, what will it be?
DAVID: f&%$ it, I don’t give a shit. Lets go.Is anyone going to throw down a beat?
Dini: we don’t throw down beats in this court room. Disrobe immediately.
DAVID: are you sure? Ok. Like this?
DAVID DISROBES…
DAVID: shit. Ok I’m gonna have to fold on this one
Dini: give the camera a moon.
DAVID MOONS THE CAMERA
DAVID: is that good?
Dini: its great! I’m surprised you went that far, I was only kidding with you the $500 is yours, David.

Dan & Hana’s Verdict

Dan, we find you guilty of overusing the phrase ‘that’s what she said’, for avoiding a tan at all costs and devouring Hana’s face with only her partial consent. Hana, we find you guilty of making inappropriate jokes, having undateable hair, and above all, not meeting your challenge! This was not a unanimous decision by any stretch. The Love Court jury is hung!

We have decided to award you both $500 so you can get a hotel room, go and make out, and we don’t have to see it ever again! Thank you your honour.

Watch Love Court Fridays @ 6pm ET & On Demand at muchmusic.com/lovecourt

Eric & Talia’s Verdict

Eric-tion.. we find you guilty of having biceps that will not quit. And I won’t quit you until you’re mine and we’re raising adorable little Filipino-Italian-Greek babies (i love you).

Double D of desperation.. we find you guilty of not setting your crazy eyes on this prize and climbing that giant rock beside you. How dare you?
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John & Kimberly’s Verdict

Kim-bo! We find you guilty of pretending to be flexible, what a stretch! For lap dancing with the confidence of a pubescent girl in a high school shower.

And finally, for allowing Jon to keep his shirt on for so damn long. Throw us a bone girlfriend.
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Ricki & Ali’s Verdict

Winnipeggy we find you guilty for popping your hood but not flashing your headlights

Ricky Martin, we find you guilty of cupping your balls and cupping Andrew’s heart. For being a construction worker but not revealing your man hammer.

The person guilty of crimes against love is…
YOU.. Winnepeg Bundy.

Therefore we sentence you Ricky Martin to continue living lavida naked with an extra $500 in your tool belt.

Watch Love Court Fridays @ 6pm ET & On Demand at muchmusic.com/lovecourt

Geordie & Amber’s Verdict

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