Teen Wolf Ep. 1: Omega

June 6th, 2012

Welcome to Season Two of Teen Wolf. Our favourite four-legged adolescent is back and all his friends (wolf-y or otherwise) are too. Can I sum up last season in a haiku? Challenge accepted! Werewolf bit Scotty/ His friends in danger a lot/ He loves Allison. Did I do it okay? Well harness in your muzzles right here because each week we will give you a recap on everything that goes on in Beacon Hills. If you haven’t already, watch the season premiere again, right here.

Yep, Jackson was bit. That’s an odd place to get bitten. Be careful what you wish for. Because you’ve already wasted on on perfectly shaped abs.

Aw, poor Allison. Like Romeo and Juliet, Allison and Scott have their work cut out for them: they can’t ever see each other. But like any teenaged boy, that fact (and maybe her father’s gun) won’t stop him from the first chance he’s gotten to score with a chick. I mean, the girl he loves. Right.

You think making out in an abandoned field wouldn’t get you noticed. It worked for Bella and Edward, right?

Don’t you think that Mr. Argent would make a great werewolf? Oh, prediction made! Season two finale, I bet he gets bit!

Oh Stiles. You are such a sweetheart. Guys like Stiles do not come around often so girls, don’t like the jerks, like the awkward but sweet guys! Sure, they seem to have pretty mature dreams but hey, at least he’ll open your door for you (I’d imagine so. Stiles seems like the type).

Allison and Scott, sitting in a tree… K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Okay, we’re done playing games. Don’t they know they have fathers with guns and other things that go bump in the night to worry about? Also, nice shot of Tyler’s bottom. Because now we’ve solved the one season old question of boxers or briefs. Teen wolves like boxer-briefs.

Lydia’s wounds make me want to puke in my mouth. Can’t stand the sight of fresh blood. What did I sign myself up for? Right. To give you the best Teen Wolf recap ever. So, as we can clearly see, Lydia is taking a much needed shower. The girl almost bled out on the season one finale and here she is, able to bathe herself. Albeit, those wounds still look super nasty.

Yep. Nope. Now I just vomited in my mouth a little. Unfortunately the hair somehow also makes Lydia retreat out the window and she somehow escapes into the night.

Now it is up for the Scooby Gang to find her. Even though Lydia made out with Scott last season, Allison is willing to put the past now and help find the her best Beacon Hills friend.

Okay, so I know this series is called Teen Wolf, but that dude is straight up zombie-esque, who else agrees? Creepy, creepy, creepy. However, it looks as if this dude may be a victim of another thing that goes bump in the night.

Looks like Stiles caught a Teen Wolf.

Busted. Empty handed, the crew looks on for Lydia with no avail.

It’s Dawson’s dad! For those who do not know what I’m talking about, check out another teen drama, Dawson’s Creek so you know what I mean. Okay, okay, off tangent, but Isaac’s father looks terribly creepy there, no? There’s something scary in that twinkle of his eye. Isaac hadn’t seen anything… except maybe a Derek Hale.

Ah, Jackson. Of course he’s wearing an awful jerk-scarf. Does this guy look at himself in the mirror and think, “How can I look like a bigger jerk?” Ugh. Chiseled features will only get you so far, Jackson! Remember that.

Who else has missed Coach Finstock? Even though sometimes his words are harsh and he acts like an doofus, you can tell that he generally has his student’s best interests at heart.

Mr. Harris is one character I actually want to see maimed. Is that terrible? He just looks so creepy, almost vampire-like. Yes, yes, this is Teen Wolf, I know. But hey, if werewolves exist in this universe then maybe one little ol’ vamp could too. Wait, he’s standing in direct sunlight. Nevermind.

In a fit of a bloody nose, Jackson can’t seem to keep the sludge in his nasal cavity. Yeah, Jackson, keep wiping away that black stuff. Gross.

Clearly I’m not the only one who thinks that Jackson is repulsive because Derek swings by to check on his latest pup and discovers that his bite might not have worked on the poor Jackson. You can read it on Derek’s face too: “Ugh.” Just back away slowly, Hale!

Scott is one cute boyfriend. Sigh.

Woahhhh new guy alert! Prediction number 2: He likes Allison. Of course.

But no one can best Scott at being Allison’s rock.

Don’t those reporters know that the 2012 MMVAs are on Sunday, June 17?!

Of course, we’re now at Kate Argent’s funeral. Of course, funerals are for mourning, but I say “Meh”. Kate killed a lot of people last season, disobeying the code. But you know what that means: retribution. And therefore, we bring in Gerard, Allison’s grandfather to take care of business.

Do you think these boys get tired of hiding in ditches? The hunt for Lydia is still on.

Found her! And yes, she is still naked, post-bath. And clearly, not shy.

Derek, you look awfully creepy here, giving Scott the ol’ sleeper hold. What are you looking at?

Oh yeah. Like father, like daughter. Gerard kills the poor omega, a lone werewolf. Scott needs to know that his life is at great danger, even more so now that the “code” is no longer being followed.

Looks like Jackson is still bleeding sludge. Why do I not feel sorry for the dude?

With Lydia found, the funeral over, and Gerard back in town, Allison and Scott spend what might be one of their last few moments together, pondering their mortality.

And we get to see Isaac again. What are you up to?

Guess we’ll find out soon enough. The season premiere was a double header (read the recap of the next episode here and watch it too) and we begin again with a new episode of Teen Wolf every Monday at 9pm ET/ 6pm PT on MuchMusic.

Tags: Crystal Reed, Teen Wolf, Tyler Posey