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It’s actually dangerous
October 3rd, 2011
Let’s just open with this, shall we? Officer Billy on why the werewolf victim was his favourite adult film star: “I’m usually flushing tissues after the first scene“.
That’s Death Valley for you – the best reality/drama/cop procedural/supernatural act in town!
Need TEN more reasons to tune in? Check them out below!
Don’t miss an all-new episode of Death Valley Tuesday @ 9PM ET on MuchMusic!
Captain Frank Dashell: “Can anyone tell me what tonight is? Don’t tell me it’s the season finale of Glee. I f–king hate that show.”
Officer Joe Stubeck : “She’s a whore and a vampire and a prostitute, and that’s all she’s ever going to be.”
Officer John “John-John” Johnson: “What was that call about?”
Officer Carla Rinaldi: “Some teens are beating up a slow-walker.”
John-John: “A zombie?”
Carla: “No, just an unusually slow walker.”
Captain Frank Dashell (on the death of the first camera-man): “I didn’t know him really well. From what I could tell he was a natural blonde who smelled like apricots. And he deserved to die that way.”
Two bystanders commenting on a woman being brutally bitten and sucked dry by two vampires: “Sluh-ut!”
Poster for the Undead Task Force: “Partners Provide Protection” featuring Officers Billy and Joe smiling and hugging
Captain Frank Dashell: “The vamps, I hate. They run drugs, they launder money, they heavy into the sex-for-blood trade. They’re kind of like the douchebags of the monster community.”
Criminal Offence in Death Valley: “DWTIW — driving while turning into a werewolf”
Describing the new drug in town: “I hear it tastes like Jäger”
A man caught with a vampire prostitute: “This isn’t what it looks like. I thought she was a human prostitute.”
Officer Joe (questioning Billy on his potty mouth): “You kiss your mother with that mouth?”
Billy: “I French-kiss my mother with this mouth”