Terminator Desecration

May 21st, 2009

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So I saw Terminator: Salvation. And I speak as a true Terminator fan when I say… don’t get your hopes up.

Two ladies beside me pretty much loathed the entire thing. But it should be noted that those gals aren’t into Terminator – one of them had never even seen any of the movies (gahhh?!). I, on the other hand, as well as my other friend, actually enjoyed the first 3/4 of the flick.

Early in the movie we learn of two plotlines – one involving Marcus, a man who finds himself in the middle of an apocalyptic world (played by hottie Sam Worthington) and the other involving John Connor and the human race’s war against machines. It’s not long before their stories intersect and explode (literally.. there are many explosions) into smithereens (in the form of an awful ending).

Christian Bale brings his Batman voice for the celebration and it’s pretty hard to watch him without visions of “you and I are done professionally” and “OHHH GOOOOD” floating around your head. Sam Worthington is well cast, and HEY – it’s the Russian kid from Star Trek playing John Connor’s teenage father.

The director McG knows how to shoot a gorgeous action sequence, so the film looks stunning. A couple shots involving helicopters are pretty amazing. If you’re in it for the action and don’t care about story/corny lines/dumbfounding situations, you’ll be quite pleased.

Like I said, it all goes downhill in the last half hour. It’s like they showed a screener to Homer Simpson and then he rewrote the ending. Oh, the action is gape-worthy and oh-my-god intense, but it’s sooooooooo ridiculous. And I’m not going to spoil anything, but there’s one sequence that I didn’t realize was going to happen, and I almost choked on a lung (partly because it is RIDICULOUS, partly because it’s almost awesome).

Fans may appreciate a couple nods to past films (including a short soundclip of Guns ‘N Roses’ “You Could Be Mine” from the T2 soundtrack), and if you’re a Terminator die-hard, I say go for it for the laughs. But if you’re batshit serious about the story… maybe steer clear and watch the Sarah Connor Chronicles on DVD instead. And in conclusion, Terminator 2 is still the best action movie ever.

Tags: Movies, reviews, terminator