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January 13th, 2014
Last night’s Golden Globes finished in a tidy three hours, kept in check by ringleaders and second time hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. The comedians only showed up a few times throughout the night after delivering their spot-on opening monologue, popping up every half hour to dead pan hilarious one-liners and remind us that their years spent doing skits and delivering news on SNL were ‘the good ole days’.
Alas, Fey and Poehler weren’t the only two stars to give us some memorable moments from the 2014 Golden Globes. Some people got drunk, some swore, some photo bombed, and some made out. Let’s have a look, shall we?
1. Jennifer Lawrence Photobombs Taylor Swift On The Red Carpet
Sure, people like J Law because she’s a great actress, she’s beautiful and she’s endearing. But mostly we like her because she seems like the kind of woman you can’t take to nice events like the Golden Globes aka THE FUN ONE.
2. Emma Thompson Finally Tells Us Poor Folk The Truth
I have never owned or even tried on a pair of $500 Christian Loubiton heels. What if my foot gets stuck and I have to buy them? What if my 29 inch inseam-loving legs suddenly transform into Gisele Bunchen’s gams and I have to find ways to rationalize the purchase? What if I ask for a pair in my size and the sales associate Pretty Woman shames me back over to the wall display of Havianas?
Still, I, like most sane-minded people, have likely wondered how on earth the famous red-soled sky high heels could be comfortable. Thankfully, we have Emma Thompson, truth-teller, who carried her shoes on stage while presenting at last night’s Globes and announced that the shoes are ‘red with her blood’. I knew it!
3. That’s Enough, Diddy
After presenting Alex Ebert with a Globe for Best Original Score, Diddy decided to stick around and hone in on the musician’s speech. Wrap it up, Diddy.
4. Andy Samberg Winning Is the Cutest
Not only was Andy Samberg shocked that he won Best Actor in a Comedy for his new show Brooklyn 99, but his old SNL buddy Seth Meyers, who announced Samberg’s name, was happier than Diddy partying in St. Barts.
5. Jacqueline Bisset Was Silent and Swore
The award for the strangest speech of the night goes to Jacqueline Bisset, who first stood silent for a minute on live TV, and then said ‘shit’. This is why we have screenwriters in Hollywood.
6. The Paltrow/Martins Are Real
Gwyneth Paltrow has famously spoken about her disdain for appearing on the red carpet with husband Chris Martin as to avoid putting their private life on show. Riiiiight. Awards shows are in the public sphere, so a big WTF to that argument. Last night’s Golden Globes presented a first, with Martin and his band Coldplay up for an award and the the elusive couple ACTUALLY filmed together at an event. They look so happy…I’ve been waiting years for THIS?
7. Julia Louis-Dreyfuss Plays For Both Sides
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were quick to point out their former TV peer Julia Louis-Dreyfuss had jumped ship and moved to the ‘movie’ section of the Globes seating chart to coincide with her nomination for Enough Said. Thankfully, the food is better in TV land and Julia eventually made her way back to the small screen seats.
8. J Law Is A Double Winner
In her second entry on this list, Jennifer Lawrence becomes a double winner at the 2014 Globes. Yes, she won for her role in American Hustle, but she also gets to take home back-on boyfriend Nicholas Hoult. Get it, gurl.
9. Yeah Bitch!
Taking home a well-deserved win for Best Drama, Breaking Bad creator Vince Gilligan reminded us why we miss the drug-fueled series so much when he handed the mic over to Aaron Paul for a well-timed ‘Yeah bitch!’ Yeah bitch, indeed.
10. Gird Your Loins, Gentleman
Hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler didn’t pull any punches when it came to calling out the playboys of Hollywood. From George Clooney to Leonardo DiCaprio, the women showed how to properly tease another person without being a bully. I don’t think anyone is about to start feeling bad for poor Leo, who can only ‘get’ supermodels.
11. Amy Poehler FTW
Amy Poehler finally freaking won a Golden Globe for her hilarious role as Leslie Knope on Parks and Rec and proceeded to make out with Bono, naturally.
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