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September 25th, 2013
Photographer Terry Richardson has released his Director’s Cut version of Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball, which consists of four minutes of Cyrus crying and shockingly features zero nudity or hammer licking. What the Director’s Cut of Wrecking Ball is missing in odd sexualization of Aisle 9 at Home Depot, it makes up for in crying.
Sure, Miley Cyrus is giving some good #cryface, but how does she measure up against some of the internet’s most famous cry babies? Let’s list them off.
The “Perfect Mascara” Cry
The “I Have Something In My Eye” Cry
The “Anything Will Work As A Tissue” Cry
The “I’m Totally Getting Fired From This Reality Show” Cry
The “I Need To Eat My Feelings” Cry
The “Chest Clutcher” Cry
The “Heartthrob 1″ Cry
The “Heartthrob 2″ Cry
The “I Just Wanna Sleep and Can’t Sleep” Cry
The “Double Heave” Cry
The “I Just Need a Minute and a Quick Drink and Then I Can Get Back To Work” Cry
The “Brunette Clare Danes” Cry
The “Blonde Clare Danes” Cry
The “Redhead Clare Danes” Cry
The “This Is How You Cry With Fake Eyelashes” Cry
And of course, the godfather of all ugly cries, The “Dawson” Cry.
Bonus! The “James Van Der Beek as Dawson” Cry
Keep trying, Miley. Your cry isn’t nearly ugly enough to make this list just yet.Tweet