THE HOTTEST WORDS OF 2009

December 18th, 2009

ETHEL VS RUTH

What up MuchMonstahs?

Did you know that at 10:22 am on June 10th of this fabulous (and soon-to-be-over) year, the number of words in the English language officially crossed the 1 million mark? Yup. One MILLLLION dollars! … I mean words. One MILLLLION words!

Apparently, English-speaking folks can add about 14.7 new words a day to our already extensive vocabularies. “Point seven?” You say? Yeah, I thought that was a weird number too, but according to the Global Language Monitor it’s a legit statistic.

Instead of getting all smart and chalking that random .7 up to like, mathematical averages or something, I’m just going to assume that that little ¾ of a word is a SLANG word. Not quite dictionary ready in its own right, but a word nonetheless – an important word that probably gets used way more than its fancy schmancy Oxford counterparts. When’s the last time you said “obsequious” in a sentence? Huh? How about “douchebag”? I rest my case.

Without further blabbage, I present to you, dear blog readers, in no particular order, THE 20 BEST SLANG TERMS OF 2009 (because 10 just wasn’t enough):

FUNEMPLOYED: Out of a job and living it up.
Example: “Mom, I can’t get a summer job this year because of the recessssion so I’m just gunna lay by the pool and work on my tan, k?”

NOM: To eat, in Lolspeak. Refers to the “om nom nom” sound made by little kitteh mouths whilst eating deelishis cheezburgers. You can thank the Lolcats for this one.

OM NOM NOM

TWEEPS: One’s twitter friends and followers. “Tweeps” is a combination of the words “Twitter” and “Peeps”. It’s one of those awesome mash-up words that fuse together the beginning of one word with the end of another. If mashwords were mythological creatures, they would be CENTAURS – YEAH!
Example: “laurenonizzle: Hey Tweeps! I totally just found a way to work centaurs into a blogpost for @muchmusic – HOLLAH!”

WIKIDEMIC: That guy who seems to know everything about every topic imaginable thanks to countless hours spent cruising Wikipedia.org. Faced with a question he can’t answer, he whips out the Wiki app. on his smartphone. You’re not fooling anybody, brah! Alternate definition: A student who submits academic work researched entirely through Wikipedia.

RIDONKULOUS: Beyond being ridiculous. Can be used in either a positive or negative context.
Example: “URGHHHH This traffic is RIDONKULOUS!” or “Woah – did you see Jessica Biel’s butt in that dress? Her body is straight up ridonkulous!”

CREEPSTACHE: Have you noticed that a lot of the guys who sported thick-rimmed reading glasses in 2008 traded in their nerdspecs for dirty moustaches in 2009? I call this the creepstache. I don’t care if it’s “ironic” – it’s still greasy. When you put on aviators and hop into your mother’s minivan, I feel like I should be calling the police or something. Just sayin’.
Don't bash the stache

MOUSE POTATO: Couch potato 2.0. One who spends a great deal of time hunched in front of the computer. Go out and play, kids!

DOUCHETARD: Another centaur of a word. Two fabulously derogatory terms merged together as one. See also: “Spencer Pratt”.

AWESOMESAUCE: The opposite of weaksauce. According to the holy bible of slang, it is “The pure refined essence of awesome”. Basically, more awesome than awesome.
Example:
YOU: “Hey, Guess what guys? My mom made us cookies!”
YOUR FRIENDS: “AWESOMESAUCE!”

SMIZE: Coined by Tyra “Imma be Oprah when I grow up!” Banks, to smize is to “smile with your eyes.” But you can’t use your mouth. Just your eyes. It’s less creepy than it sounds, I promise – except for when Tyra does it, because pretty much everything she does with her eyes is creepy.

thebestthingevermu2vk2

EPIC FAIL: So, “fail” is not a new term by any stretch (not for us geeks of teh interwebz anyways), but boy did this term ever get some major play in the mainstream this year! In case you’ve been living under a rock or something, to fail is to… well, fail. Like, at life. Check out the fail blog if you want to feel better about yourself for a few minutes. Or seven hours. What can I say? The shite’s addictive.

HAMTHRAX: A cute little synonym for the H1N1 “Swine Flu” pandemic that will surely have killed everybody by the time this has been posted. Hello? Are there any other survivors out there?

FOODGASM: What happens when you eat something exceptionally delicious and satisfying. The ultimate in epicurean pleasure.
Example: “I swear, that poutine I had in Montreal was so good it gave me multiple foodgasms. *drool*”
Stupid Rachel Ray

MEATSPACE: a.k.a. real life; as in NOT online.
Example: “I was going to write happy birthday on your wall, but I thought that it would mean more if I said it to you in meatspace!”

TEXTUAL RELATIONS: Naughty text messages sent between lovahs (or secret lovahs *cough* Tiger *cough*) See also: “Sexting”.

BROWN CHICKEN BROWN COW: Say it out loud. Now say it like you’re singing the theme song to a cheesy retro skin-flick. It sounds like “bow-chicka-bow-bow” – get it?
Example:
Guy 1: “Where are Dan and Megan?”
Guy 2: “I saw them head upstairs a few minutes ago…”
Guy 1: “BROWN CHICKEN BROWN COW!”

FUSTERCLUCK: A semi-safe-for-work term used to describe one heck of a messy situation.
Example: “I don’t know what happened! One minute I was sending a private email to my mom, and the next thing I know everybody in the office knows about my third nipple – what a freaking fustercluck!”

JERKSTORE: Derived from the episode of Seinfeld where George throws out the most badass diss ever: “Oh yeah? Well, the jerk store called. They’re running outta you!” It’s funnier when it’s in context, I guess… whatever. The point is that “Jerkstore” is making a comeback – as a NOUN.
Example:
Guy: “I don’t like your face.”
Girl: “Whatever, jerkstore.”

NBD: Abbreviation for “No big deal”. Not particularly clever, but definitely one of this year’s break-out txtmssg short-hand phrases.

IMMA LET YOU FINISH: In the aftermath of Kanye West’s little outburst during Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the 2009 MTV VMA’s, this sentence worked its way through the media and the masses alike. Oh, we all thought we were so clever, didn’t we? Interrupting our friends with “Hold on, Imma let you finish – HAHAHA, get it? Like KANYE? WAHAHAHA”.
It only lasted about a week, but what a week it was!

I’ll admit that this list is far from complete – feel free to hollah with any hum-dingers that may have been overlooked in the comments section below, mmmkay?

Mad thanks to urbandictionary.com, the hilarious weirdos I meet online (and in meatspace), and all of the people who tweeted me with their favourite words of 2009!
Oh – and before I wrap this up, I can’t neglect to mention that the New Oxford American Dictionary’s official word of the Year for 2009 is “unfriend” – the practice of removing someone from your list of friends on Facebook. Man, those Oxford cats never fail to amaze me with how hip and relevant they are!

Laaates,
-O’Nizzle

Tags: correspondents, holiday wrap, interslice, lists, slang, web 2.0