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January 22nd, 2014
As we previewed yesterday, one of our fave Kroll Show characters returned on last night’s new episode: Mikey a.k.a. “Legs” from the Canadian soap opera Wheels Ontario. A pretty blatant — but creepishly spot-on — rip-off of our beloved Degrassi, Wheels Ontario goes over-the-top Canadian with an excess of eh’s, oot’s and various other strange stereotypical Canadian pronunciations. We swear we don’t speak like that, though…at least not all the time. (Keep reading as we summarize all of the Canadian-isms in the episode at the end!)
Warning: there are spoilers in this post so if you want to catch up on last night’s episode first, watch it on Much.ca now!
The episode started off with a reality singing competition called Show Us Your Songs Toronto where contestant Mary Belle Edwards (played by Degrassi alumni Lauren Collins) wins the chance to guest star on Wheels Ontario by performing the most Canadian song we’ve ever heard (“land of the beaver,” she sings while accompanied by an Aboriginal drummer).
Yep, Wheels Ontario: the best show on Canadian television, eh.
This episode focused on the annual Maple Syrup Games (if only that was a real thing), the hot event where everyone got some action and Mikey was faced with the fact that he might finally lose his virginity! Of course, he goes to his school nurse for some tips…and butt plugs?
And shocking news: Tunes is preggers! With Coach Teacher’s baby!! (Sidenote: this is two episodes in a row now where characters have revealed pregnancies — WHO’S NEXT?)
It’s the day of the Maple Syrup Games and Mikey’s getting increasingly nervous about tapping that sap (their joke, not ours).
And just as things get started, though, Tunes goes into labour and rings up Mikey for help. Does he choose sex with Collette (Lauren Collins) or Tunes?
Of course, being the polite Canadian friend he is, Mikey chooses to help out Tunes.
But fear not, he also gets Collette at the end…or does he? After chugging some wine down to calm his nerves, Mikey wakes up in the classroom alone and naked. Well, covered up by a Canadian flag. Of course.
The episode of Wheels Ontario ends with the premiere of Bryan La Croix’s music video NTR 2 Win, which is also a contest for you to win a chance to take La Croix’s virginity. Best/strangest/freakiest/funniest music video ever.
Bonus: Nick Kroll regales us with the best story ever of his first time in Canada. Spoiler: it involves going to a peep show; we think this face says it all…
Kroll Show Canadian-isms recap:
Number of times they pronounced ‘out’ as ‘oot’: 17
Number of Remembrance Day mentions: 1
Number of maple syrup sex jokes: 2
Number of times Tim Hortons was mentioned: 1 (Tim Hortons maple-dipped donut, to be specific)
Number of times a character said ‘pardon’: 3
Number of times a character referred to something in kilometres instead of miles: 1
Number of Don Cherry sex jokes: 1
Overall Canadian-ness of the episode (on a scale of 1-10): 7.5Tweet