Bring on the LOLZ
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May 30th, 2014
Recently, we’ve gotten REAL nostalgic. Vintage cell phones are making a comeback with consumers wanting longer battery life, tougher hardware and a phone that stands out from the smartphone crowd, Tim Horton’s has brought back the éclair from the dead AND we’re exactly one month away from the 90’s sitcom Boy Meets World spin-off Girl Meets World premiering. We thought we’d count down the five other vintage items we wish would make a comeback.
5. Jolt Cola
Long before Red Bull was giving people wings, Jolt Cola was the reason why everyone in the ’80s had so much energy, as the uber-sweet, highly-caffeinated beverage of choice for students, young professionals and computer geeks alike. It even made its way into Hollywood lore when it was featured in Steven Spielberg’s Jurassic Park, Hackers, Gremlins 2: The New Batch, Wayne’s World 2 and a bunch of other movies. There were different variations of Jolt, but the original Jolt is the one above all others. Sadly, the company that made Jolt filed for bankruptcy.
4. Toys in cereal boxes
Back in the ’80s and through the ’90s, cereal wasn’t bought based on taste. Instead, it was more about “What kind of kick-ass toy can I get?” You could get everything from action figures from your favourite movie to Pez dispensers to an authentic Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles mask. Basically, this was the only reason to ever buy Shreddies when you were a kid. Now, cereals mostly feature coupons for free smoothies and mail-away offers for a toque, but we want toys and we want them NOW!
3. Cassette Tape
Spotify and Rdio playlists are fun and all, but they don’t require the ninja-level skills needed to make a good old mixtape on cassette. Yeah, it was a science and an art. There was no sweeter sound than loading a freshly bought New Kids On The Block tape into your ghetto blaster or, if you were lucky, car tape deck and cranking the sweet sounds of Joey McIntyre for everyone to hear. The good news is we may all get our wish pretty soon as Sony is releasing a new cassette tape that hold the equivalent of 11,840 16GB iPhone 5s or 3,700 Blu-ray discs.
2. The Original 90210
Not that horrible remake that was mercifully laid to rest (read “cancelled”) last year. We want the trials and tribulations of the new Brendan & and his weirdly like-named sister, Brenda Walsh. We want to see the next Ian Ziering and Brian Austin Green watching a Colour Me Badd equivalent perform acapella at the Peach Pit. We wanna see Dylan and Kelly 2.0 have an affair when new Brenda is away in Paris. Make it happen, Tori.
1. Calvin Klein underwear ads
Not just ANY ads. We want Mark Wahlberg…in his undies…on every billboard and in every magazine out there. Helllllooooooo! Case closed.
By Sandra BenainTweet