The Week In Jibba Jabba! This Time, We’re A Day Early.

July 27th, 2006

Holla!

I guess the “big news” this week was that *NSync’s Lance Bass came out on the cover of People magazine. We say, good for you. But we also say, would he have done it if he wasn’t constantly gossiped about previously to this on sites like Perez Hilton? Dude, Lance Bass being gay is soooo 2001. We’re glad that he didn’t continue hiding it, unlike some people we know (cough, cough Kevin Spacey apparently cough, cough).

Last week I told you that Pam Anderson and Kid Rock have once again decided to get married. Here’s the update: they called it off. Just kidding. What I meant to say is that they’re gonna have like 500 weddings: in Detroit, Tennessee, California and France. Dayam. They’re doing it for the presents.

So, Jada Pinkett Smith says that she’s seen Suri Cruise. The baby has a ton of hair. There you have it: the next best thing to actual photos. So, they’re allegedly arranging celebrity viewings but word on the street is that Katie Holmes’ parents still haven’t seen the baby? I don’t need to say it, it’s already been said – but this whole thing is still shady. We’ll let you know if or when it becomes unshady.

Here’s a story about Britney being mean to her pool boy. Isn’t that what pool boys are for? Anyway, I don’t believe it. I once heard that Britney saw a bunch of kids on the street once and they said, “BRITNEY!” and she said, “hi, y’all!” which OBVIOUSLY means that she’s a really nice person. That pool boy’s just mad that he didn’t get regular pool boy privileges (midnight romps in the pool house).

Oh, oh, sorry Fall Out Boy. Take it easy, Bravery. Things are gettin’ better, Panic! At The Disco. Yes, rest your weary heads because Brandon Flowers wants to take back all the sh*t he said about you. He’s a nice guy, really. Just like his last name says. But here’s a piece of advice: in this vulnerable stage of faux-affection, it’s the best time to retaliate. But I didn’t tell you.

Speaking of Fall Out Boy, they JUST went in the studio to start working on the next album. Didn’t Pete Wentz just say that Lil’ Wayne is his new lyrical inspiration? That’s amusing.

Ashanti might be pregnant, just so you know. Cause you were wondering, I can tell. The baby’s daddy is probally her secret boyfriend Nelly, who she’s been dating (allegedly) for about three years now. Let us celebrate with some appropriate Ashanti lyrics: “Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby. Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby”. Or how about this one? “Aww baby! Ooo baby!” Yes Ashanti, WE GET IT, you’re pregnant! Godddd.

You can feel better about the state of things because Lindsay Lohan has finally fulfilled her bi-annual trip to the hospital due to heat and/or exhaustion. Carry on.

Short & sweet this week, folks… see you next time!

Posted on Thursday, July 27th, 2006 at 4:15 pm by Wendy and is filed under Blog.