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So Much Kevin Hart
Save your screams!
September 19th, 2011
To keep Damon from tracking him, Stefan kills Andie right IN FRONT of him. And that’s just a taste of the major shockers the season opener of The Vampire Diaries had in store!
From horny vampire/wolf sex to ice cream munchies to Damon protecting his expensive booze, there was blood, sweat and tears for every character in Mystic Falls.
Re-watch that sex scene again HERE, then read on for the full TVD debrief below (plus a promo from the next new episode!)
The Vampire Diaries airs Fridays @ 8PM ET on MuchMusic.
Stefan Salvatore / Elena Gilbert / Damon Salvatore
Stefan is gone. Long gone. “Off the deep end” gone. He’s murdering people left, right and center, throwing their body parts left, right and center.
Why? To keep Damon and Elena safe. Sweet. But very dangerous.
Klaus traded his blood to save Damon for his own personal slave in Stefan. And he thinks Elena’s dead.
Elena and Damon have been tracking Klaus’ kills all over America to find Stefan. Except Damon’s kept one little secret from Elena; the kills are all Stefan’s.
To keep it that way, Stefan sends a very direct message to Damon: “LET ME GO”
And by “let me go” we mean he attacks Damon’s girlfriend/sextoy/chewtoy Andie and makes her commit suicide while making Damon watch.
Cold. That is just cold.
But Elena still has hope. At the end of the day, she gets a phone call with no voice on the end. Knowing it’s Stefan, she tells him to hold on, that she loves him and to hold on to that until they can find a way to get him back from Klaus.
Cue the tears. Literally, I’m sure that scene turned each and every one of us into sobbing messes of people.
Caroline Forbes / Tyler Lockwood
Caroline and Tyler are horny. Like ridiculously horny. They admit it. It’s that simple. So when Tyler brings a date to Elena’s bday party (oh yeah, Elena turns 18 and Caroline forces a bday party on her. What are best friends for, right?) she compels the little hussy to leave.
Then they make out.
And run back to Tyler’s house.
And have wild, horny vampire/wolf sex.
All’s good, right? Except when Caroline tries to sneak out of the house, she gets shot up full of vervain.
Mrs. Lockwood does not like her.
Jeremy Gilbert / Matt Donovan
Jeremy can’t have on peaceful cell conversation with the woman who brought him back from the dead without a bunch of ghosts screwing it up. But Jeremy can’t tell Bonnie that. So while she’s off vacationing (cause that’s what you do when your life’s turned upside down by the supernatural) Jeremy is dealing with the ghosts of Anna and Vicki.
Who comes to the rescue? Matt Donovan. Matt is not talking to his BFF Tyler or GF Caroline cause they’re now screwing each other. So he lights up a spliff with Jeremy to smoke away their problems.
Except Jeremy lets it slip he’s seeing Matt’s dead sister, and it’s not because he’s high. What to do…what to do…
Good thing the Gilberts have all that ice cream to eat or that scene could have been way more awkward!
Poor Alaric. After realizing his dead wife was a vampire, then killed herself, then fighting with his current girlfriend before Klaus killed her, vamped her, then killed her again, he’s now a shell of a man.
Unshaven, sleeping on the couch, and is that a little beer belly I see? Alaric seems to have lost his place in Mystic Falls and has no idea what his future holds. So he finally moves out of the Gilbert house back to his apartment.
Let’s hope Elena asks him to move back in and protect them. Pretty please!
Klaus The Original / Ray Sutton
Finally we get to Klaus’ diabolical plan. This show centers on family. Klaus and the originals. The founding families of Mystic Falls. The Salvatores and the Gilberts.
Naturally, Klaus wants to start his own family of vampire/wolf hybrids. First things first, he needs to find a pack.
Meet Ray Sutton. Cute, scruffy and used for vervain dart practice. Klaus makes him drink his blood, twists his neck and waits for the results. First hybrid child complete. Bring on the next!
And that’s the TVD premiere in a nutshell. Side note: how scary is it to be a vampire? Stefan compelled an entire bar not to help Ray while he was getting tortured. And compelled Andie to kill herself. Caroline could easily toss people from a crowd to get to another end of a room. Damon compelled a girl to leave his good liqueur alone and only drink the cheap stuff (that was AWESOME by the way!).
Well, at least we got one non-scary vampire item: Damon naked and covered in soap. SWOON!
Until the next time Caroline tells Tyler something he’s not allowed to know….see you next Friday on Much!Tweet