Settling In

Larissa - Episode2

I'm looking outside watching the world evolve in front of me yet I cannot touch it. What a frustrating feeling of everything happening at once and still at the same time life is standing still.

A double standard, I wanna cry but at the same time I am laughing. I feel almost like I'm learning to walk all over again, this experience is all so new. I beat myself up then pick myself up and carry me through almost every day.

U CAN DO IT!!! I scream to myself. Just stay strong and be true to yourself. I promised myself when I buried my baby that I would live life by my terms. No man painting me up and turning me into a trophy or giving me a curfew, no rules - I live life for today. No regrets. This is the life I want and this is the life I've been working for ever since.

The experience of a lifetime, the top ten in the country they say. A rush of energy goes through my body as I hear it. I've made it this far - I HAVE to push it and see how far I can take it.

I miss my family and the all the support back home. My mom has done so much for me, I would be nothing if she hadn't carried me through the fire.

Most of the top ten are cool, some I'm not so sure of. You know you kinda hear them and rattle your head in confusion and say "I'm sorry what was that you said?" They can say the most bizarre things. We finally for the first time were sorta let out of our cage today!!! WE WENT SHOPPING!!! And I had soooo much fun actually breathing the Toronto air and being amongst real people. This is a last time holler at my peeps out in the PEG!!! Word Regan, Rach, Gayle, and all the staff at my second home Bar Italia!

Love Ya'll Muchly

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Boyfriend (& His Parents), Read This

Rebecca - Episode2

So, it's Friday and I finally got to do my introduction promotion thingy for the show. Wow! That took forever. First they had my hair in this crappy mohawk, and then I messed it up and told them to do something different. (I'm so high maintenance here, I'm usually so relaxed and laid back...oh well, fame comes early - just joking). So I play the sexy rocker bartender. That would be my two nights a week job in Edmonton - ya all should know me from Union Hall, right?

It's so weird. The first 4 days we were so rushed and stuff. It was always hurry up and wait. Now I have all the time in the world to just sit, think, listen to music (and annoy everyone with my absolutely rancid singing). I'm starting to really miss Kurt (my boyfriend). It sucks having time to miss people, I'd rather just be too busy - sorry Kurt.

We haven't had cameras around for two days now. It's nice to finally see who everyone really is. All my ranting and raving about how annoying and fake Norm is...he's actually pretty cool, quiet and in the background when there is no cameras. I like him better now. So the moral of that short story is---NORM IS FAKE WHEN THE CAMERA IS ON!!!

I'm picking up so much different lingo from everyone here. My friends back home are so going to wonder what happened to the way I talk.

I have so much in common with Nikki (Calgary). We both were in figure skating, taekwondo, volleyball, NOT basketball (cause it really sucks), and loved to play badminton-but so sucked at it. We also both really like to talk about stuff that has/will be coming out of our asses. Both of our parents told us to minimize that talk. Sorry Ma & Pa! Oh ya...we're both only kids too.

I'm having this fear. I really want to marry my boyfriend as some point, but I'm scared his parents are going to see the funny side of me and think I'm not good enough for him. That would really suck! Can't believe I just posted that on the web. Especially if he is watching the episodes and I'm only aloud to talk to him for 10 min each week. Hope he still wants me when I get back (everyone cross your fingers).

We went OUT for dinner last night. A couple of people recognized a few peeps, but not me. Why haven't you bitches recognized me yet? I'm coo, I'm nice. Anyway, back to being aloud to get out of the Gladstone. It was awesome, they split us up into two groups of 5 (that way no one could see the ten of us out together). I went to Armadillos-it's pretty much Julio's Barrio with some burgers and ribs added onto the menu. It was really good.

We get to go shopping tomorrow. Hopefully we go to Eatons Centre and some kind of black market. Too excited!!! I've completely ran out of clothes to wear. I love all you Canadians. Please vote for me.

PS. Jenn, thanks for the huge pep talk before you left. Love you so much and missin you dearly. Angie...wait for my confession that I dedicate to you (I'll wear a very awesome shirt for you).

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Drama, Fighting, Loving, Lusting

Tim - Episode2

Hey everyone, this is my first blog entry and I just want to say I'm very happy to be here. I'm having a great time and have met some great people and have been having a lot of fun. We have been really busy with press, filming, and photo shoots, so it since to finally have some down time and some time to relax. We have met the judges and have been in the studio.

It's really weird being there sometimes when I think about it, it's like watching TV but being on the inside, it almost feels not real. Having something happen like this is just so unreal to me and so out of the ordinary but it feels so right. This is probably one of the few things in life that have just felt so right for me.

But anyways getting back to meeting the judges...They all seem like really great people, Steve has a really bright personality and is a really funny guy and loves to make people laugh, I think he really knows what he is talking about judging by his experience and also just by looking at him, you can tell he really pays attention and takes time to make a proper judgement. Traci is a wonderful woman and is definately very beautiful and very smart. She knows this job and she knows how she is going to have to do her job in order to get what they want for a next Much VJ, she is a kind woman, but will also tell it how it is, won't hold back if someone needs criticism, tell you the truth...none of them hold back...which is a good thing though, that's how they will find who they need.

Robin....Robin Black...Robin is deffinatly the bad ass who wants to hurt us...lol...he is also going to be riding my ass though this whole competition I can tell. But I look at it as a good thing...if I can take the worst he has to give, and grow from it, and improve on myself, then hopefully I can be more then I ever thought I could be. Not that I'm saying he is always right...I'm just going to have to try harder to prove him wrong, and its ginna happen. But Robin also knows his job too, he knows that it's not about making people feel nice about themselves but testing and preparing us for the job we are all reaching for. He is a guy who went after his dream and went though a lot getting there, so he definitely is not going to make this easy on us. I know he wants to care, and wants to goof of and joke around with us, but since he can't and is doing his job, he jokes around while cutting us up...still a pretty funny guy.

Kardinal is also a great guy, I am saying this not just from meeting him as a judge but also from seeing him in interviews. He is a very aware and knowledgeable person. He cracks jokes on the show and has a little fun with his job but he also has a lot of things to say. So far I know he hasn't' opened right up and shown us it al yet...it's gotta be hard for anyone on the panel to open up and say everything they want to with Robin up there...lol. But I'm having a lot of fun and looking forward to a lot more to come and also to hear more info and feedback from the judges.

I'm a very confident person but I'm also very self aware. I am always trying to improve on myself in every day life. Once I improve to a goal I had I keep going I set new ones and I keep reaching and reaching, I'm me biggest critic and I can be hard on myself at times...haha I also think Robin wants to top that and be more critical and harder then that..hahaha.

All the contestants are awesome people, and the ten that already left are going to be missed. They were all fun and exciting people and having 20 of us all together in the one place made for some fun and exciting times...you'll have to watch and see. haha...but the ten remaining are a good ten and are going to be a challenging ten too.

I'm feeling a lot more comfortable now, and I'm acting more like myself...instead of being Tim chilling, I'm Tim chilling and goofing off like I normally do, some may view it as immature and dumb but for me it's just having fun, not taking life too seriously and having fun with it, life was meant to be lived and I know I want to look back on mine and say that I had fun...being uptight and stressing is lame and is going to make you age faster then needed...haha. I'm not saying I don't crack down and get to work when I have to, because I do, I work hard and try my best when I want something and I take that very seriously...one thing I need to learn is to let things go. When I screw up I notice...other people notice, and I do my best to learn from it, but I also have a hard time letting myself get over it and end up beating myself up over it. But I know I can do this, and I know that it's going to be work...but it's also going to be fun and exciting and I'm sure it will make for great TV.

So to everyone out there supporting me and cheering for me (all 4 of you...haha, kidding I hope there are at least 5 haha) thank you soo much you have no idea how much it means to me...for more drama and fighting, and loving and lusting, stay tuned and keep on watching us crazies on Much...to quote the movie Boondock Saints... "Catch you on the flip side..."

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Just Sheltered

Sean - Episode2

Well, here we are on day... seriously it feels like the end of the first month, but in all actuality it's probably day six? Today is all about the down time, the recuperation from the hard days, and long days, that we've been putting in. It may sound like random quasi-celebrity whining, but seriously, you run on very little sleep and having even less of an idea of what's going on and what's coming in the future. Having made the top ten however, you tend to get a little more info and a little more idea of what's to come in the next few days, although I will point out that I did say LITTLE.

Yesterday was a special kind of day. It was the kind of day that I could get up when I please and do what I please. In all honesty, I wish I'd have slept longer... but that's what happens when you're in a situation with nine other people running around insanely, and one of them is rooming with you, and that particular person who shall remain nameless (you can thank me later Erik), SNORES LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS! Seriously, it's disgusting. If I wanted to stay up all night I'd have stayed out and watched movies all night long, but let's face it. I'm here to win. Here to kick a little ass, take a few names, and look fabulous while doing it. Anyway, let's get back on topic a little here.

My day consisted of really nothing, nothing work related anyway. It was finally time to have a little day without the cameras. Rest up and shake a little ass. Kelly informed us about our day, it was to consist of going grocery shopping, renting movies, well she was going to do that, but it was still on the agenda, and resting up. It was a day all about recovery.

At around one in the afternoon, the ten of us crammed ourselves into two different vans to go over to the grocery store. I forget the name of it but it's something we definitely don't have in Saskatchewan. First thing I'd like to mention is that our driver is the lead singer of I Mother Earth, it's like a celebrity version of Driving Miss Daisy but more like Driving These Nobodies. Awkward a little? Anyways, once we got to the grocery store it was yet another lesson in growing up for Sean, Grocery Shopping 101.

Now I'm not going to deny it. I've been babied, spoiled, and treated like my mommy's little baby, and I am. Coming here was like my way of trying to assert my independence. I have no idea what I'm doing here, and it's not like I'm completely on my own. Learning to cook was something I enjoyed doing back home, and something I enjoyed doing for my boyfriend (hey baby!), but it was still a step towards growing up. He always did the shopping, always got what I needed, because it seemed fair. I cook, you get the stuff. Now it was time for me to do all of the above. Let me be clear here, I'm not an idiot, but for the first time getting food for you to survive on your own and being unable to cook and yet wanting to stay at least a little healthy is harder than it seems. I don't want to leave this show having gained eight thousand pounds from pizza and Chinese food. Like come on, I've got to keep the money maker going some how right? Wow it's easy to babble. Anyway, at the grocery store our P.A. Megan (so cute!) took us around and helped us to find our groceries. In particular she took me around trying to help me make informed and good/healthy choices. Seriously, I think it would have been easier to stick to ordering subs from across the street. That's right guys, we can't leave the hotel, I'm borderline in prison here, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Whatever ended up happening, I spent forty dollars on granola bars, cranberry juice, energy drinks (Trust me when I say that's a necessity), muffins, fruit, and some potato salad. My plan for all that was: I'm on the go. I've got to get ready, be mentally prepared, and look fabulous, I don't have time to deal with a microwave/cooking. Shove it in my face, and let's roll.

After that it was pretty much watch some movies and just chill out. I went to bed that night in anticipation of getting a fabulous nights sleep and waking up refreshed and perky... that was until the beast came into the room to sleep. Erik's a nice guy. He means well, but he snores like nobody else I've ever heard in this life time. I was so depressed, I couldn't sleep very well... the moment you fell asleep it felt like a hurricane was erupting in the room and sucking my soul out and into it. I'm sorry Erik! It's not my fault you snore. It's your fault you keep me up. I BLAME YOU!

So today, the most exciting moment of my life... I was about to have my first photo shoot. I was about to vogue with the best of them. This was like dreams come true, sass it up for a camera. It was a surreal experience to have a professional stylist, a professional photographer, hair and makeup. Are you kidding me? This is the kind of stuff that happens to people like Paris Hilton, not to people who come from Saskatchewan and can barely imagine getting out, let alone winding up in the fabulous VJ Penthouse (PS we haven't gotten there yet, but I can't wait!)

Having the style team come in and look at your wardrobe and help you to look your very best, and let's face it, when you look this good can't be that hard (Haha!) is so exciting! They're such a cute little group of people that's like, try this, no no, this is better. It was super fun. They ended up picking out the outfit I had wanted to wear for the black and white photo shoot. That to me was a huge compliment. These professional stylists liked my idea for the outfit, I was so proud.

Getting your turn in front of that camera was like the most exciting thing ever to me. This is the kind of stuff I had always dreamed about. Look fabulous, smile, pose, sass it up a little, and take photos! They turned out so good. It was like you could actually see my personality coming out of the pictures. More importantly, the photographer said I was very commanding and captivating. Next stop, best friends with Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson... well hey, one dream came true, why not keep dreaming? The group shot was fun in itself. Having watched my fair share of reality television shows, you always saw these group shots that looked so hot, so original, so fun and full of attitude. To get to emulate that and give it your own spin, a little twist, and with people you know, was just... surreal. I truly had fun with that experience, and am finding it easier to relate to everybody in the house, but I'm completely confident that once that camera gets back on I'm going to have a lot more rage to vent out to you all.

The next thing I'm going to talk about... oh yes... this was beautiful. The producers allowed us OUT OF THE GLADSTONE!! We... were free to go out for supper. A few hours out in Toronto, to enjoy freedom a little, without the cameras to slow us down. Now because the top ten show hasn't aired yet and nobody knows, other than those involved in the show, who got sent home, we had to separate ourselves into two groups of five. My group consisted of Erik, Casey-Jo, Rebecca, Tim, and myself. Of course we had our P.A.'s with us, but really, when are we without one? We went to this Texas style restaurant called the Armadillo, really good food. It was so fun to be out and on an adventure, free of all the confines of the hotel. You could relax, have a little food, a little conversation and a lot of fun.

This entire experience has opened my eyes to a world that's out there for my taking. I can't believe how little I know about stores, restaurants, life, culture, everything is just hidden away from me in Saskatchewan, or perhaps I'm just sheltered. I had no idea the adventure I was in store for, and I can't believe I was so sad to leave, and don't get me wrong I miss my friends, I miss my family, I miss my boyfriend, but everything that matters and everything that counts will continue to follow you wherever you go in this world. I'm going to take this opportunity to let you all know that it really is true, follow your dreams. Aim high, you never know who's going to be out there to catch you and let you live that dream. Believe in yourself, and you really can achieve anything you want to, those cheesy people that say those? WE'RE NOT LYING.

Back to my day, after supper it was time for the crew to hit up karaoke in the downstairs bar. Sorry Andrea, I went to another karaoke bar, but if it makes you feel any better, yours is WAY better. Anyway, it was so much fun to just be out dancing around, having a good time, and once again, having no cameras. Casey-Jo and I got up and sang some Cher, a little If I Could Turn Back Time for the crowd. Let me tell you, it was good. We had the entire bar up dancing, shaking their thangs and being loud. It was super amounts of fun. Well, it was super amounts of fun until this creepy eighty year old man, came up, shook my hand, and told me that really turned him on. AWKWARD! Excuse me sir, but... are you aware that you're gross? The world sure is. Disgust. Disgust. I was so repulsed by him I couldn't even believe that people say that. I took that as my cue to go to bed, and so that is what I shall go about doing. Sweet dreams.

Arielle, nice katits. Jazz, you're hot, sorry I couldn't see you before I left to 'grandma's'. Megs, smile, it'll make people wonder what you're up to. Everyone else, rock hard! Curt, miss you, be safe, xxoo.

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Beauty Coma

Sean - Episode2

So, after months of waiting and interviews and phone calls and little diddy moments with various MuchMusic people...here we are. It's February 2006 and Sean Gehon of Regina Saskatchewan... has made it to the Much VJ Search FINALS! It's day four... and already so much has happened it's difficult to know where to start... so I guess in the immortal words of Ms. Julie Andrews 'Let's start at the very beginning... a very good place to start'.

Sunday began SUPER early at Sean, unable to sleep, getting up at 4 a.m. to catch a flight into Toronto to get this show on the road. I left with uneasy feelings... like looking at your mom like you're going off to war. Hugging her goodbye was one of the hardest feelings. I promised myself after saying goodbye to my boyfriend that I wouldn't cry anymore. I'd done enough... all the tears were for everyone and everything I was about to be cut off from. Unfortunately... seeing mom's sad face... just started to break my little heart. From there... you get to the airport... where you wait for a plane that's going to take you to the unknown. And when I say unknown... I mean it! I had no idea who I was looking for when I got there... the super nice lady I met on the plane kept asking me questions and all I could say was that I have no idea. You just secretly had to hope that somebody would see you and be like 'Hey! You, the one from Regina... let's roll!' Lucky for me... that's exactly what happened.

Getting off that plane it was like go, go, go! No time to breath. No time to say thank God my highly over packed bags didn't get lost. Thank God this isn't a dream / nightmare. You get in and your introduced to a few people at the air port. And it's... these are your competitors. The people you're supposed to deal with over the next few days and/or months, depending how well you do. It's such an over whelming experience to just be thrust into the face of uncertainty and strangers left right and centre. You bond... you go... you give it your all and you hope that someone in this group is going to jump and say 'Hey! I like you. Let's chill.' Luckily for me... I found that special someone!

From the airport you're thrust on this bus to go to the 'location'. I sat with Supes, my first buddy on this show. She's such a sweet heart. I'll admit there were moments I was concerned about her intentions towards me, but in the end of it all Supes is a great girl and I'm super glad to have met her. She's been nothing but an angel to me... and I wish her all the best!

Anyway... from there it's ok guys here's your hotel. You're the top 20! Go for it bond have some moments. The first thought through my head was... 'What has this homo gotten himself into this time...'

Unpack your things. Have a little moment to eat, get settled, meet the entire gang... and then get ready to go meet the experts. What??? I just got here. It's called a nap. I've been up since FOUR IN THE MORNING. But no. That's not how television works guys. You go out, you eat... thank God they fed me at least. All I can say, is thank you for a nice rejuvenating little diddy of a shower.

Meeting the judges for the first time involved a few... how shall I say, firsts? It was your first lesson in the fact that when you enter or exit ANYWHERE it's apparently a big deal that has to get on camera. It was also your first time to Vogue infront of a camera. Rock it out. Let your personality show... bring out your inner diva and give it shake. You've got to make this opportunity count, and besides... who hasn't wanted to have a photo shoot?? After that, it was all about the judges, and all about the STRONG desire for an energy drink.

Sitting under those lights with Steve, Traci, Robin and Kardi just staring you down, or in Kardi's case just watching you through the shades, is such an extraordinary experience. These people you have NEVER met in your entire life, who only know approximately two minutes of your life, have complete and utter control of your fate in this competition. You just want to take a minute to talk to them and consult with them and just be like 'Hey, I'm a fish out of water... can you give me some advice?' But... no. DO NOT TALK TO THE JUDGES! Umm... ok? So then... I'll just sit and look pretty and VERY confused. Rule #13 - Act ditzy, lose things.

Anyway... when the judges went through and commented about who they liked and disliked... you were so unsure what to think. You wanted them to like you, or at the very least you wanted them to notice you. In my case, my compliment came from the most unlikely of places, my home-town-sharing partner in crime (ha!) Mr. Black himself. I was floored when he said my name. I really didn't know that I had anything to offer. I figured my being here was some fluke, some reality television stunt that screamed 'Let's all go have a laugh at the homo.' Then I stood out. I was really happy... and had very little to say... I was far too overwhelmed.

I know that's a lot for day one... but day two did not get ANY easier. It was challenge day. What??? The second day? Pull up your socks kids. This is the big game. Dina came in and sat us down, told us 'Hey guys this is the challenge... 2 minutes. 1 question. Here's your microphone.' WHAT?

You either interview Yellowcard or Our Lady Peace. You have two minutes to ask them one question and this ONE question... controls your fate. All right... let's do this. In my case it made no difference which group I ended up interviewing. I knew little to nothing about either group, other than Raine Maida has a wife named Chantal Kreviazuk, and let's face it... what kind of questions would that be 'So Raine... how's Chantal?' Ummm... no thanks. I figured this was my opportunity to tone down the sass. Kick the game up a notch and show that Sean's smarter than he seems. He's more than a sassy, out there, strong persona. He can get the work done as good, if not better, than expected. I brought out a serious side... an emotional touching side that, in my opinion, gave me something to relate to the band with. I worked hard looking over the research and album provided. I wanted something that stood out, that wasn't ignorant or uncreative, because that's not why I'm here. It's time to rock this bitch.

My interview went quite well I think. It wasn't my best effort, but it was something that I was proud of for a first go. I'd never interviewed anyone, never really handled a mike in terms of an interview situation, and never had to win a challenge on a reality show. Other than a mild microphone moment during the challenge, the band seemed to appreciate my question, and in fact told me it was the best question. I can't complain about that. It left me with a little bit of confidence... and yet, as they say, hind sight is 20/20. Looking back I felt maybe I should have done something sassier, maybe I should have introduced myself, maybe I should have pointed my mike at them, maybe I should have worn a different outfit. But as my chemistry teacher once said, 'When ifs and buts are candy and nuts, we'll all have a merry Christmas'. It was done. It was out of my control, all I could do... was deal with my room mates.

Getting home after the challenge provided more time to get close to your room mates and get to know them. In a way it was fun, and in other ways, I just wanted to throttle people. Enough of my rants have made it on television, so I'm sure you'll see them there and read about them as time goes on. But after that... it was truly time to hit the ground running, full blast, and give 'er all you could.

I accepted after finding my comfort zone in this place, that I wasn't going to fake it up. I wasn't going to play nice and I wasn't going to lie about who I am and how I feel. I got this far on my own accord, and I plan on getting farther as myself. I've nothing to offer but who I am. So here you are Canada, take me or leave me. I've had enough thrown at me over the past 20 years that a little more can only make me stronger. That includes what the nation thinks, what the contestants think, and what the judges think. Though so far... it's been a good ride, and day three would continue to be an adventure... yet it would be a very different one.

It was media day. My first interview outside of the MuchMusic realm! People knew who I was! Are you joking?? I walked down stairs for a little diddy breakfast and next thing I know, 'hey... you really stood out on the show last night. I'm rooting for you.' HOW SWEET! I just wanted to blush and be all excited, but it was then I realized... you can't let this all go to your head. My philosophy the entire time had been 'Treat nobody as a threat. If you do? They are. They will over come you and you will cause yourself to fail.' The other, 'Nerves serve no purpose. This is what I came here to do.' And it was true, I had yet to be nervous. Constantly excited and pumped, definitely. I had a plan, and that plan was 'let's rock this bitch as far as we can'. And so far... that's what I've been doing. After the interview, it was time to mingle, time to eat, and time to get ready to go learn the fate of our jobs, in front of the entire country.

This to me was do or die. You either make it or you go home... that was it. No option. It was then that I remembered a promise I had made. My Pussycat Dolls 'don'tcha' hoodie, had to make it on television! If I didn't do it now, I wasn't going to do it at all. That made my outfit choice simple enough, and after that... the control was out of my hands. I'd done all I can. All I could do was wait, be patient (HA!) and hope for the best.

Waiting at Much... was one of the most annoying times I'd had so far at this point. It wasn't so much that I wanted to know, but moreso that I wanted to do something. And if someone told me 'five minutes' one more time... I was going to have a serious diddy moment. Finally you got to sit down and listen to your fate. You got to hear what the panel thought about your two minutes of interview and your question.

I was floored when I was told that I had the best question, absolutely floored that they liked it. But I swear all I get are the backhanded comments. JUST LOVE ME DAMNIT! First time it was 'You're good, I'm excited that you're different, but the country is going to laugh at you so you have to be prepared for that.' This time around, it was kind of scarier, 'You're too gay for Much. You over power, you're more the star than I can see being an interviewer.' Awkward. All right then, at least you liked my question. Take the good, accept the bad, and do your best to improve. Do what you have to do, don't compromise who you are for what you're doing. I've compromised myself for a good 18 years of this life time, I've had more than enough.

Standing on that stage for the results... was honestly the ONLY time I'd been nervous. I'd been preaching just doing it up. Having a good go and stand confident. And I was confident, but something in the back of my mind just kept saying 'all right... we had our laugh. Look at the homo. We flew him out, we had a good time, now lets' get on with the real contestants.' Honestly, that was cool with me. I had the experience of a life time, the adventure of a life time. Everything was roses, yet my hands were sweaty. No racing heart beat, but sweaty hands. I came to the realization that I was nervous. Standing in front of Deena was perhaps, the longest pause of my life. You watched people you grew to have fun with, like, and generally enjoy their company get sent packing. You watched people share the joy and exciting moment of getting told 'YOURE IN THE PENT HOUSE!' Then, it's your turn to face the music. Deena's a gorgeous woman, but let's face it. When she's holding your fate in a little card, a foot from you, she's an intimidating woman. So sweet and so nice, but your heart just stops. The words that came out of her mouth, almost made me stop breathing. 'Sean, you're off...TO THE PENT HOUSE!' I absolutely died. I couldn't stand, I was shaking, I fell to the ground, and had no option but to hug Dina. You're just over whelmed, you're freaking out! You came so far from Pinawa, Manitoba, a shy reserved boy, scared to admit anything to himself, scared to leave that world behind, to Regina, Saskatchewan, becoming an adolescent with no way to look but down. Fear consumes you and you have to come to terms with everything in your life, you make the decision to love and live how you please. That decision takes you right out of Regina, into the chance of a life time. A finalist in the Much VJ Search, 2006. I won't blow this. I've gotten this far doing what I'm doing, all I can do is improve and look out for this.

Diva's gonna rock this bitch as hard as he can. Mom and Dad, I hope I can make you proud. Andrea, this is for you baby! Boobs, I watched Mean Girls tonight. Curt, I cried today, xxoo. Everyone, those mentioned and otherwise, that I lied to about where I'm going... I'm sorry, but I know you'll understand! I'm tired and I need a beauty coma. Talk to you all soon.

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Francesco Puddles Mode?

Norm - Episode2

Ladies, gentlemen, gentlemen-like ladies and lady-like gentlemen, you are witnessing history in the making.

This is the first blog entry I have ever made in my life, and believe me it's gonna be a memorable one.

Why you ask?

Because I just said it would and you're gonna remember me telling you that it is.

Well, let's start by introducing myself. I am the infamous "BIG" Norm Alconcel a.k.a. Chef Shaolin, Danny Drizzles the Panty Wetter, Francesco Puddles the Singing Sensation, Chuck McGhalleger the Ethnic Trailer Trash Dude, and the list goes on. All these characters and alter egos put together make me the character that I am.
I never really thought of myself as an over-the-top, crazy, spontaneous oddball...actually...I take that back. I always thought that - ever since I started mooning Pastors daughters at Christian camping retreats!

Over the years, I have garnered a reputation of being a one-of-a-kind entertainer that always thrived in the midst of commotion and excitement. Growing up in Scarborough, the hometown of world renowned entertainers like Mike Myers and Jim Carrey, I always thought I had what it takes to be a star, an entertainer, and most of all...a success! I figured, if these small town Scarborough boys can make it....why can't some 5'6 ½"ft, Filipino freak show that can sing, rap, and entertain all at the same time, make it?

With that in mind, I decided to try out for the MuchMusic VJ Search. I auditioned at Fairview Mall, and was actually the last contestant to go up. Just before the audition, I was called onto the stage along with three others and asked to sing Old McDonald Had A Farm in opera style while others were to sing it in different styles. Having the background in singing, I won the little contest which, in turn gave me a better chance to get in to the VJ competition.

A few weeks later, I went to Humber College to try out again. Unfortunately this time, I was not called for my audition due to time constraints. But get this...volunteers were asked to come on stage for a little contest. To my surprise, it was the same singing contest except this time I had to sing Barbie Girl in a "Lil John crunk" style. With My rapping background, I made sure to get the crowd crunk and crazy! My competition wasn't that competitive except for this one beat boxing homey! The host of the VJ search competition kicked off 5 of 7 contestants and kept me and the beat boxer. Then they asked the crowd to chose a song for each of us to sing in a different style other than the ones that were just displayed. I was asked to sing Usher's Bed Time in a soulful R & B style. I quickly switched into Francesco Puddles mode and made sure to get all the ladies...drippin! After the beat boxin homeboy realized he lost the competition, he hooked me up with a beat to finish off my set. In the end I won a wicked prize...well...a MuchMusic t-shirt (OH JOY!). So even though I didn't get the chance to audition for the VJ search a second time, I still gained enough respect from the Humber students.

Now that I'm on the show...I'm sure I got their vote. It's still kind of surreal being here in the spotlight in front of thousands of people on national television. You never really expect to get chosen when thousands of people have entered and sent video audition tapes. I never even sent a tape so I feel very fortunate to have this opportunity to show my goods (hey, get your mind out the gutter) all across Canada.

It gets nerve wracking though. Especially when the panel judges are grilling you like souvlaki and eggplant! And I must say that Robin Black has got to be the coldest, bad mutha -shut yo mouth judge on the panel. He told my homeboy Erik that he's got a small PP on national television. But then Erik is a smooth operator...you'll see what I'm sayin when you watch the show. So just make sure to keep tuned in to the show...and trust me, you won't be disappointed. There are too many crazy characters under one roof to go unnoticed.

In my next entry, I'm gonna break down what I think of each and every VJ hopeful in MuchMusic VJ search.. So stay tuned...The same Much time, on the same Much channel! OK-K-K! PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST...SIDE OF MY DAD'S UNCLE'S BROTHER'S HOMETOWN OF SOUTHERN ILOCOS SUR IN THE PHILIPPINES. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love you all.

Keep it real.

BIG NORM

P.S.

Here is my cheap plug in:

RICHIE S.O.S.A. IS THE BEST RAPPER IN CANADA! BELIEVE THAT!

BIG NORM'S QUOTE OF THE DAY

May your drinks be cool,
May your women be hot,
And may all your problems,
Slide down like snot!

-Anton Jackson
the homeless dude on "In Living Colour"

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Comments (14)

Just Tryin' To Be A VJ

Erik - Episode2

Hey everyone! The photo shoot last night was a great new experience and I'm sure you'll have a great laugh at the pictures. It was hard to hold all the cheesy faces, but nonetheless it was sweet to see how it's done. I got a little frustrated with the stylist who kept saying well what outfits are more you. And she clearly didn't understand what I was saying ...when I said "none of these are me, I would not wear this...I would wear this..." I had some clothes that I wanted to wear and she said no! She wanted me in all black and wanted me to look like I was on some cheesy soap like The Y&R. don't get me wrong she is a cool chick but she's just a little pushy. I would wear all the things I was wearing just not all together ... oh well it's all good now ....

There's still one thing that is pissing me off more than ever though. When I got the call to fly to Toronto they told me not to cut my hair...because they would cut it for me here to ensure that I look the same as my audition tape... problem is that I needed to get my hair cut 2 weeks before I came here! And I still have not got it cut. I look like I have spike growing from my head and can't stand it but what ev!

After the photo shoot we got spoiled and the peeps here took us out to this cool restaurant and we all had a blast...Thanks again goes out to Erik and Megan you guys rock! Ok well this about the time that it got a little crazy ... we all went back to the hotel and yes it's true we all rocked out at a big karaoke party and let me tell you the drinks were flowing and we all had a great time. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time... Please forgive me if you ever get your hands on the footage of the boys and I singing to the Backstreet Boys ... song ...omg I want to buy that footage back one day ... I swear! ahah. Anyways just to let you know that's why I'm not a singer and I'm trying to be a VJ. You guys will be able to see some cool pics and videos that I took on my new cam phone ... hope you all like them.... Got to go now but thanks to all my fans again...

Talk to you soon

Ciao

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Comments (11)

Cut 'Em Down, Build 'Em Up

Kardinal Offishall - Episode2

I knew it!! These hopefuls had no clue! They're real friendly and think they're at summer camp! Ha!

Oooooh, fellas (and maybe gals - depending on what you're into...) there are some hotties in this bunch. Some definate "faces". I think there is a bit too much confidence in the bunch though. We gots to keep cuttin em DOWN in order to build em up for this sick job.

My man Robin has it out for one of them (tune in to see who). This particular person seems a lil bit soft...

Hmmmm. I think the next VJ is definitely here - but it's gonna be a tight race. Their extra "umph" needs to come across after Episode 3's challenge. That will definately help shape what I think. It's not just about a cute face and "toyt" body. I need a little brains...no pun intended! LOL.

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Comments (3)

An Iota Of Promise

Robin Black - Episode2

Man, this gig is tough. I mean, really tough.

I have fought the very best black belts in international martial arts competitions.
I have starved and struggled in an indie band, fighting to make our mark.
I have made records with the toughest music producers in the business.
I have been kicked in the nuts.
But this sum-bitch is up there.

This week, we had to send 10 eager, excited young people home. We had to put a stop to their dreams before they even started. Face to face. On national television. Ok, admittedly, I was not impressed with most of them. But that didn't make it any easier.

Man, you should've felt the tension in that studio. You could cut it with a bat. 10 were staying, going to the Penthouse. 10 were going home, back to their lives. Dream: over.

It wasn't easy for us to make this cut, and we realize you will NOT all agree with us. But we had to do it, and we stand by our decisions. Some of the choices, some we sent packing, were hard. Take Luke from Winnipeg, for example. I REALLY liked that dude's audition tape. I did a little research on him, and thought he was cool. But he just didn't show us ANY of that charm or comedy in the week he was here. In the challenge. In his interview. Behind the scenes. None of it.

We really considered keeping him, to see what he could do in another week. But, the problem is (when you are cutting 10) if we kept him on a "hopefully he'll get better" basis, someone who was doing well NOW would have to be sacrificed. And we just couldn't do it.

If there is another VJ Search season, I am going to lean on the producers to bring Luke back for another shot.

Rochelle was another one. We debated keeping her. But there were better. And Zach, from the East coast? Dude had promise. But someone had to go. And he ASKED OUR LADY PEACE FOR AN AUTOGRAPH ON CAMERA.

That might not have cost him, but then he told us that decision was him "going with his gut". Well, if that was him "going with his gut", and his decision to tell us that "going with his gut" was also based on him "going
with his gut", then "going with his gut" sent him home. Sorry. He had promise. But that was unprofessionalism to the extreme.

The people we kept? Most are only marginally better. I am still not super impressed with any of them. I mean, not only is this a dream job for someone, a real CAREER, but it is important to the millions of Much viewers.
And we need to not only find the right one, but we have to help SHAPE them, too. How? SHOW THEM THE WORST PARTS OF THE JOB, SCARE THEM, EMBARASS THEM...WEED OUT THE S**T!

This week, I tried to really push a couple of them, a couple who showed an IOTA of promise. I provoked Eric, pushed him hard (pointed out the 'tiny' MUCH logo that he wore over his tackle) and he responded well. So well, in fact, that we rewarded him with a "surprise" in the Penthouse. You'll have to tune in next week to see what it is.

Cutie-pie Tim. Hmmm. I really need to see if he's more than a pretty face. So far...not so much.

Larissa? She might have the goods. Gotta frighten that one to see if she can take the heat. I mean, a VJ has to be able to handle the most bizarre of circumstances. Let's see how she does.

So far, the only one that has consistently showed promise is Rebecca. But I am gonna try to break her. I am certainly not leaning in her favour. I have a feeling her weaknesses will be exposed soon.

The others? Are they gonna step up? Can Casey-Jo's charm carry her? Can Sean find the right balance between his Sean-ness and his professionalism? Is Norm that fooking irritating all the time?

Frank just barely made the cut...will he improve? Am I gonna list them all now?

Keep watching. Your questions will be answered.

Again, I realize you will not agree with all your decisions. We know you have your favorites. Please hit me on my blog with any advice, thoughts, or ideas on how to test these buggers. We need your help.

And please respond to the Poll-O-Matic when it's live. We need your input.

Now, alla you, bear in mind that WE will decide the next 5 cuts, but we need your help. Eventually, YOU WILL DECIDE WHO GETS CUT AND WHO, ULTIMATELY, WILL BE THE NEXT MUCHMUSIC VJ.

Thanks! Luv ya all!

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Comments (19)

You Are Off The Air

Dina Pugliese - Episode2

Brutal. This is the only part of my job as host that sucks - and I mean, ROYALLY sucks. Minutes before the verdict and you couldn't even begin to cut the tension with a chainsaw - I'm the one who had to tell 10 adorable, passionate contestants that they didn't have the goods to go to the next level and live it up in the swanky penthouse - that they could say ba-bye to their dreams of being the next VJ and pack up their bags...FOR GOOD.

One of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

I need therapy.

My heart jumped out of my chest while looking into their panicked faces - I can't even imagine what they must have been feeling.

Chris got to me the most - like an innocent lamb to slaughter - he wanted it so bad he could taste it - the disappointment in his eyes - unbearable.

All I can say - it wasn't their time but it doesn't mean their time won't come one day.

On the plus side - it was absolutely THRILLING to tell the 10 VJ hopefuls who did make it that they were headed to the Penthouse and that much closer to their DREAM job.

Dressed to impress, adorable Larissa seemed so relieved - Sean was shocked and admitted that it was the first time he's been nervous since the start of it all.

You should have seen him STRUT out of there though - priceless! Head held high. (I'm snapping a 'Z')
Erik and Tim said they could have KILLED me for toying with their emotions in the verdict (OFF the air vs. OFF to the penthouse) and couldn't be more relieved to hear that they had made the cut.

Franklin actually shed a couple of tears...I love seeing a grown man cry.

And Casey-Jo hugged me so hard I could hardly breathe.

The Expert Panel were brutally tough on all of them, so it's safe to say that NO ONE felt safe come decision time.

Let's face it - conducting an interview with a big band is tough for almost everyone, even seasoned pros - it's amazing that they were able to talk to OLP and Yellowcard and not faint or puke all over themselves.

Victory was sweet but it will be short-lived...someone gets yanked in a week. Enjoy the 10 while you can...things are only going to get a whole lot tougher as we start to fall in love with these kids...

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Comments (3)

I Have A Small Bladder

Steve Anthony - Episode2

First thing (and it is gross, but, this is a blog, so anything goes, right?): Traci Melchor can't stand the sight of blood. I guess I was concentrating a little too much during the show, started picking this thing on the top of my left hand, and it started to bleed. I showed Traci, and she was about to faint, or, perhaps, throw up.

That is something I can use in the future if she doesn't agree with me on my choices.

And here's the s**tty part, 'cause I don't mind grossing Traci out at all.

That weasel Robin saw what had happened, seized the moment, deliberately picked his nail real hard to make it bleed, and did the same thing to Traci.

So now, it'll be who can make themselves bleed more in order to force Traci to bend to their will. All we need now is for Kardi to find out about it, and the show will have to be renamed VJ Search: The Bleeding Series.

But like, I have always said, the best TV is the one where someone dies or is seriously injured.

Second thing: I'm on this diet, LA Weight Loss. And I drink a ton of water because of it. I also have learned that I have the world's third smallest bladder.

I probably would have laced into the finalists a lot harder if I hadn't been concentrating so hard on not pissing my pants on national television.

Now that this is out, I suspect that one of them will try to suck up to me by peeing themselves on TV.

Maybe not. Actually, I think I would be thoroughly impressed. So, there, young VJ finalists, is something that would impress me.

Go ahead. Try it. All of you try it. You only live once, and you probably only get to piss yourself on national television once.

So do it fast before you get eliminated.

I wasn't offering fodder for Zach's ego when I told him that I thought he would be "the one". He's not the only one with a radio background, but thought I saw that as an advantage. [If you have the ability to] communicate without the visuals - that is a distinct advantage.

I was wrong. There are so many nuances about being a VJ, a radio background is just a small part of it.

Hope you liked our cuts and our choices. If you didn't, well, you're entitled to your opinion, even if it's wrong. You'll have your say in a while with the ones that we don't take off the air.

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Comments (2)

One Word...Surreal

Nikki - Episode2

I'm pretending to be sitting in Starbucks with my ipod, laptop, and double Americano. How I miss routine. Back home I'm a random writer. After taking a couple of years of English in college I've managed to forget every technical aspect of writing but have strong love for creative expression through writing. Well I guess most of my entries usually take the form of rants about the opposite sex, then forwarded to my girlfriends as an encouragement/self-esteem booster saying "You're too good for that butt head!", I think I'm a "Carry Bradshaw" wanna-be.

Surreal is the only word to explain what I'm feeling right now. When I first received my first call back I was completely thrown off guard because my girlfriend Liz had just been saying, "Nik, I bet you they will call", and since I am the biggest superstitious, pessimistic person in the world I said, "No, I don't think anything is going to come of it". It's so nice to be eating my own words right now.

Everyone in the house is great. My parents were freaking out because they were convinced that they were going to put some pervert kleptomaniac in the house that was going to break into my room, rape me, and then steal my shoes. Thanks guys.

Not a whole lot of drama, but I have to say, some people love attention. It's a show though, we're all here to entertain, but I'd be lying if I said there wasn't times when I was ready to stick my foot in someone's mouth...

This situation is unlike any I've ever experienced so it's hard to compare it so the audience can sort of relate. I'll give it a go, so picture this: You're in grade 8; you've just realized that playing Barbies and tag is no longer cool. Some of the girls in your grade have developed boobs, while you're still stuck with 2 awkward mosquito bites. The guys are obnoxious because they think that making fun of you and throwing tic-tacs at your head is endearing. You like this guy; he's the coolest of the cool, but so does every other girl in your grade. You know the saying "too cool for school"? Well he is. (Oh and this guy is actually the VJ spot, not a real man, FYI) How the hell are you supposed to make this guy notice you? You could (A) Throw tic-tacs at him like the rest of those pre-pubescent a-holes in your grade, (B) Write him a note asking him if he likes anyone (C) Beat down every girl you see talking to him, or (D) Play it too cool yourself, that's right, I'm too good for you!!! So what to do? Do I push that bitch out of the camera so I can show off my M.C. Hammer impression? Or do I wait it out until my time comes tapping me on the shoulder? I think this analogy made no sense. K I'm re-reading it...and...uhhh huh...yep...complete nonsense. See guys, internet and TV will mess with your brain. Sorry for just wasting your last five minutes...but you kinda know what I'm saying? This competition is a high-stress interview times a million!

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Comments (1)

Not No-Fun Nikki

Nikki - Episode2

I am slowly going crazy, 1 2 3 4 5 6 SWITTTTCCCCCHHHHH!!!!!

OK fine, I'm just being dramatic...as per usual. My friends and family back home know me to exaggerate things just a tad.

It's pathetic how much I have missed my computer. Correction, it's pathetic how much I've missed my computer, cell phone, text messaging, blackberry, CD player, cable television, email, ok fine, any means of technological advances that I've managed to get my hands on in my 22 years of life. I'm part Chinese, it's in my blood to love this s**t. We received these MuchMusic cell phones yesterday and I don't think my fingers have felt so much excitement/disappointment in their life! See the phones don't actually connect you with the outside world, they just let you take pictures and videos. What a tease.

So I guess some of you back home are wondering what the dilly is with the MMVJ search... too bad. It's top secret. Ha ha just kidding, I'm here to spill the beans, all of them! There is soooo much dirt in the house so far! It's like "Days of our Lives" on speed. People are getting down and dirty, yelling, screaming, fighting, rumbling, tumbling, just havin' a ball, because it's a free-for-all! All rright, I'm being dramatic again...sorry. Sure there's been some dirt going down, but for the most part everyone's getting along. In all of my interviews I keep mentioning how different everyone is and I can't seem to stress that enough. Can you imagine what happens when you stick 20 completely different people in extremely close proximity to one another, of course s**t's about to fly. Sometimes I feel like people are just trying way too hard. This situation is almost comparable to junior high/high school, everyone just wants to fit in and be noticed. Boo. I hated high school. High school hated me.

Yeah I'm up for a competition, but where in "competition" do you find the word ridiculous? You don't, but for some reason people are being ridiculous. The other night was a gong-show. I have nothing against drinking, I've been known to have a few drinks here and there myself, but people were drinking like they had been in the Sahara desert for the past 10 years and they were making up for lost time. I remember seeing two of my room mates throwing it down in the hall, a guy and a girl, just completely beating crap out of one another, as this is going down, Christian's got his "Tom Cruise" bartender get up going on passing out pure shots of Vodka. Wow. I think I'm going to take the liberty of thanking my Dad for these genes that don't allow me to digest alcohol like normal people which prevents me from drinking obscene amounts of booze and making an ass of myself. At least when I make an ass of myself I can remember it and possibly even try and dig my way out of it after it happens.

Speaking of family, I miss you guys. I miss my friends, especially my ladies. I knew it was going to be hard not talking to you guys but I never imagined it would be this hard.

I was having this conversation the other day with one of the guys in the house about personalities. When you're out with your friends you're comfortable, funny, outgoing, kind of the life of the party, but here, everyone is like that. You're no longer the life of the party; you're lost in the crowd. So the question is, do you struggle/fight for that attention or do you sit back and watch as it all goes down and take the risk of being kicked off because you're now "No fun Nikki"? It's a tough one. I'm an only child, my parent's never taught me to share! Ha-ha kidding, I can share...if it's absolutely necessary, but it's just weird when you feel like you have to share attention???? WTF. It's a waiting game, you never know what's going to happen next, and you don't even know what time you're going to have to wake up in the morning. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to come across like I'm not enjoying this experience because I am truly ecstatic to be here, it's an opportunity that doesn't come around everyday that's for sure.

Satisfaction never comes for simplicity. The struggle is what makes the prizes so worth while; I've just got to keep that in my mind.

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Comments (4)

All Hairs Standing Up Straight

Erik - Episode2

I have been travelling the world for some time now and have never really known where my next stop would be. Going from place to place country to country and just following my heart wherever it took me. The day I received that phone call...I remember it so clearly.

I had been in Newport Beach "The OC" for some time, making a lame attempt at trying to learn how to surf, and when I say a lame attempt I mean it...I broke the board in half and had a mouth full of sand on my second attempt. I was with some friend's dirt biking when we stopped for lunch, and then the moment of truth...

My cell started to ring, and it was a Toronto area code that shows up on my caller ID. My heart rate rises and the person on the other end says "get your ass back home to Vancouver you've made the semi finals and we're flying you to Toronto asap".

Back in Vancouver I board a midnight flight to Toronto - not knowing where I will be staying, or who I will be looking for when I get there. All I'm told is don't worry we will find you and find me they did. After walking thru the doors and being greeted by a producer and camera crew asking me if I was Erik, I decided to have a little fun and said "no who's Erik and why". They then asked me if I was part of the Much VJ search and I kept it up by saying "VJ search where do I apply" you should have seen the confused look on his face it was great. I then came clean and the whole crew had a great laugh over it - I'm sure they're looking for payback... well bring it!!! Little did I know that they already had set me up!

I was the first guy to arrive at the airport where there were 5 gorgeous girls that were there before me. I was kept apart from the girls for hours and then they did the big intro...I was getting a little worried thinking that I was going to be the only guy in this and was a little scared of what it might be like living with all girls...but it turned out that we all clicked, and we formed a bond as a strong group that I will always remember no mater what happens.

The first person I met was my girl "case" we met at the baggage pick-up and have been friends ever since... she's a cool Sexy punk rock chick from the west coast and will be a close friend forever.

The days to come would be long and keeping me on my toes... These producers don't tell us anything and all they say is..."not sure, don't know, cant tell you, maybe and just a few more minutes but really it means hours!

We are staying in a sweet hotel at an undisclosed location with no phones, no computers, no TVs, no text messaging, and we cant even leave the building. It's a little weird and almost feels like we're in a pimped out jail. I find myself at the front door looking out at the real world wondering what its like out there wishing I could be out seeing the sites in this crazy city.

We have had some awesome experiences and it almost feels surreal. We have had our first challenge and it was amazing - I had the opportunity to meet and interview "Our Lady Peace" and let me tell you these guys are some of the coolest and nicest out there!

The next day was a little crazy but I loved it. I was being interviewed by "ET Canada" You don't understand I almost fell over, this has been a dream of mine for years that one day I would be on "Entertainment Tonight" and it was coming true. It's an amazing feeling that you just cant explain and I hope that you all get the chance to feel it one day. The only thing that was on my mind was that I wish my brother was there to experience it with me (Frankie I owe this to you Bro).

"The Show" well what can I say the host Dina is stunning and just has this look that makes you melt.

"The judges". ok so by now you probably have seen how Robin Black laid it to me on national TV. When he speaks all the contestants are scared, myself included! You just never no what he's going to say. You think Simon from Idol is bad well you should meet Mr Black! I think I figured out Robin Black and it pissed him off even more. So now I'm really getting a little scared cause I know I'm going to really have to bring my game. I think Robin likes to put pressure on the people he thinks have what it takes because he wants to be sure and see if They can handle all situations. Tracy is a pro in the industry and she knows what it takes, so she gives you the good and the bad. Steve is cool funny and knows his stuff but I think he's going to come on strong sometime soon! And Kardinal is a bit mysterious you can never really be to sure about what he's thinking behind his big ass shades (cool Dude none the less). All the staff and production crew are amazing; everyone has been so nice to all of us.

Ok so now let's get to the first elimination...well I can honestly say that we had a group of some of the most qualified and talented people and it was not easy for anyone to see the first ten get cut! I have never felt the emotions that I felt that night...and the producers played it up to us very well... it started up with when we come back we will call four of you up and 2 will stay and 2 will go ... and then, when in my opinion they called the strongest 4 up first me included, Everyone in the top 20 was like what? And then Dina (host) said "you 4 are all off" with the straight face and paused for what felt like hours - my body was weak and sad and then she smiles and says "to the penthouse". The feeling that runs thru your body in unexplainable I felt every hair on my body stand strait up it was so crazy.

I really feel that we have the strongest 10 here and that it's not going to be easy for anyone. The judges then had to say who they thought did the best job so far and this was based on the responses that we gave to their questions and on the challenges so far. I was blown away when Robin Black looked me in the eyes as hard as it may have been for him to say and said that they thought that because of how I handled myself and kept it together when they put the pressure on me and embarrassed on national TV, and because of how well they thought I did at interviewing "OLP" that Erik Bartik (me) did the best job so far. I was speechless and almost shed a tear ... it's was kind of weird. Along with that came some big surprise for me at the penthouse and I'm dying to know what it is.

We're still at the hotel for a few more days enjoying some downtime. My man Kyle hooked us up large last night with a box full of DVDs and some sweet new MuchMusic camera phones, (we owe you huge Kyle). Well I have to go to a photo shoot right now but before I do I just want to say thanks to all my fans out there and that I appreciate all off your support and love, you guys and girls are awesome and stay tuned cause its going to be a crazy ride and a great show.

PS: To my family and friends I love you and miss you and that includes my 2nd family in the "OC" you know who you are.

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Comments (6)

Yellowcard, Chicken Scratch

Rebecca - Episode2

So, I guess I should start right from the beginning, well, when I walked into the TO airport. First of all the only time I've ever been to Toronto is when I was 4...so this is awesome! Toronto is very vintage. As Sean says, "It has no rhyme or reason...and I love it!"

I left Edmonton at 12:25 AM on Sunday morning. Yep, that's right-I was the first person to arrive (other than Nathalie who was right behind me). I assumed that we would have a driver pick us up and take us straight to our first shooting location. Partially right. The airport was our first shooting location. F**k around! I never want to be in an airport for 7.5 hours straight again.

It was interesting to see the diversity in the other 19 contestants. By the time there was 7 contestants at the airport, five of us had already made an alliance. I know...what were we thinking? This isn't big brother. We ain't gonna be voting each other off. Anyway, you're probably wondering who the five were - Jenn, Nikki, Casey-Jo, Erik, and myself. You'll find that to be pretty obvious when you watch the episodes.

But the airport stuff is relatively boring, except for all the suppository talk, and I found out that I have a twin and we were separated at birth (that's Chris, both of us were born on July 15, 1984). So now we're movin' on.

It turns out we are staying at the Gladstone. Awesomest place ever! Each room is so different. Funny thing, I ended up in the honeymoon suite all to myself...at the end of the hall...right by Tim, Erik and Norm. Coincidence? I think not! I think the producers have it all planned. I think they have a story line and we are all just puppets. I'm getting off track again aren't I? I'll try not to do that again, but I can't promise anything BITCH!

Okay, I have to explain something right now. "Bitch" is turning out to be MY word. In my audition I said, "Can't wait to see me in Toronto Bitches!" right at the end. It's like my new tag line. Anyone that I meet...that's what they remember. Not a bad thing, kinda funny. I really don't mean anything bad by calling people bitches. You'll know when I do.

Where was I? Oh ya, right. So, we're at the Gladstone and everyone has so many questions. We're all like, "what are we doing tonight?" "when do we get to eat?" "when do we meet the panel of judges?"... we got the same answer for every question - "I don't know, you'll find out when we want you to". What a load of s**t! None of us knew when we should be getting up, what we had to be ready for...nothing!

A couple people thought that we could totally go for a jog in the morning - I think not - the Gladstone, turns out to be a jail. We can look out the front door, but we can't step out of the front door. They're scared that the press will find us before we get to our second location and jump all over our asses.

So here we are, confined in our little jail, eating nothing but Tic Tacs. Apparently that's the diet for the stars...tic tacs and bottled water. And tic tacs give the poops...trust me. It seems to be every morning, right before the maid gets to my room, I have uncontrollable poop coming out of my bum. It's probably better than being bummed up.

We all knew that we would have to do some challenges. The week before I came I saw that Our Lady Peace was going to be live at Much on Monday @ 7 pm. I totally thought, "Oh my god, we are going to have to interview them". Little did I know - I was right!

One morning, kind of suddenly, the producers sit us down in the lobby and say, "here are two piles of envelopes. Ten of you will he interviewing Our Lady Peace and the other ten will be interviewing Yellowcard." I was excited. I've interviewed before...no problem (ya right). I don't listen to Our Lady Peace or Yellowcard, as far as I know. I don't usually know who I'm listening to, I just listen and rock out! Okay, then the producers go on to say "you have 2 minutes and one question. Our Lady Peace will be at 4pm this afternoon and Yellowcard will be in an hour and half." Of course I got Yellowcard! Not a problem though, I really don't like a lot of time to think of about stuff...JUST DO IT!

My group interviewed Yellowcard at Mod club. I could have killed some of the people. Crystal, Casey Jo, Christian and myself were trying to practise what we were going to say and how we were going to say it. And we're trying to do this as peeps are goofing off! I now realize why they gave us ear plugs in our rooms. GRRR!

My interview with Yellowcard went pretty good. Other than one of my sentences coming out like chicken scratch! I did feel quite bad for Tim, cause he was right behind me. Someone from the band said, "We can be done now, she won" right as he was walking up.

Oh my god! You have no idea the nervousness that comes out when you have to step in front of people that you don't even know (AKA The Judges). All they are gonna do is s**t all over you. The first time we had to meet them I got nothin'! They didn't even comment about my video audition. And Robin Black called me a bitch, and Traci said "Rebecca...Bitches!". That's all, no more, no less. So that made the second time of going in front of them a bit more nerve wracking. Between me and you, I get openly confident (cocky) when I'm shaking inside.

So the second time we were with Steve, Traci, Robin and Kardinal, I was actually talked to. Robin really liked my Yellowcard interview! YAAAH! Excitement is now running through my veins like a race horse.

It's kinda funny, I had no idea who the judges were - and I show up with the same hair cut and style and Robin Black! First impressions are always good.

One of the more exciting things was the press day. It took all day to do interviews with press. I talked with ET (Rick...so awesomely gorgeous), Star!TV, MuchNews (Devon...the nicest guy ever, he gave us so many pointers), The Edmonton Journal, The Edmonton Sun, and CBC Radio. It's so weird how everyone you talk to seems like they know you so well.

Sean, have all the love in the world for him, was trying to make me a diva yesterday. The crew went out and rented some movies for us (we were dying-no phone, no TV, no radio, no newspapers, no magazines). Sean and I decided we wanted to watch Mean Girls, so we got into my King size bed and looked at the TV. Hmmm, we both hoped that Peter Pan might miraculously appear and put the DVD in for us-but no. So we both started to yell "Erik...Erik". Of all people to come and put the movie in for us...it should be Erik.

He didn't come - but Tim did. Now Tim is the person that Sean wants to take home and carry around in a purse like a little dog. Too funny. Tim tried to put the movie in for us, but our DVD player was broken. I guess this means that Sean and I will have to do some work. And if there is any work to be done-it should be together. I picked up the phone and pushed "0" and Sean did all the talking. A porter came up and fixed everything for us, as we still sat in bed and watched. So Diva like! It may take some work to turn me into a diva...but Sean thinks it's possible.

So now there is 10, and we are doing all the promo stuff. My photo shoot isn't until tomorrow. I have all day to bum around and take some silly pictures with my new MUCHMUSIC PHONE!!! (I just signed up for 3 years with Bell...again...this totally sucks!)

Until next time. Shake it like a man and never lose touch with your true self!

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A Pretty, Fancy Jail

Nathalie - Episode2

Okay where do I start...

I know I will start with my feelings thus far. This experience has been so bizarre for me. Like obviously I knew I was coming on a reality show, but I never expected to have so many different emotions happen to me, sometimes all in 1 day!

Don't get me wrong I am so happy, appreciative and proud of myself for being here and getting this far. But the days can be so trying and difficult to get thru, especially if you are a single mom like myself. I miss the HELL out of my daughter. As crazy as she drives me, lol...ironically that's some of what I miss about her. But being able to call our families helps soooooo much. It gives me that extra incentive I need to get through and I expect that it does the same for the other house guest as well.

All I know is being here is like sometimes being in a pretty, fancy jail, lol. Its so hard not having any control of your day and having almost every aspect of your life already pre-planned. Even this...what im doin right now is planned for me. I mean I don't mind writing to whatever fans I have. (That sounds so weird. I have fans, lol) but anywayz basically this entry today is more or less about what it's like for me. "Would I ever do another reality show again?" you ask? HELL NEVER! lol. It takes way to much emotional and mental strength to do this s**t. I only have enuff mental and emotional strength to get me through this bad boy, lol. but im gonna bounce...i promise my next entry will be much longer and more in depth, but right now I'm jus getting to know y'all so baby steps, lol.

Okay I'm out for my Jamaican and west indie peeps, likkle more. For my other beautifully ethnic peeps from whatever and every kind of walk of life in Canada talk to ya soon.

Nuff luv and respect.
One!

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One More Push

Frank - Episode2

I lifted my head from my hands, a pool of tears rested in my palms. Never has life been so fair I thought. Never have I been so far in something so good without having a setback throw me off course. I guess karma had made it's last run and I was free, finally free.

Then my heart jumped I scanned my mind for the problem and I found nothing, nothing was the matter. I just wasn't used to this feeling of accomplishment, this feeling of worry free pride. At this moment I felt that that I had no reason to fail, nothing was holding me back.

I smiled with tears running down my face and cried, I m free, finally im here and I could feel my mothers pride in my heart. I could only imagine how she must have felt like, watching here son on TV. My little brother's pride, finally he has someone to look up too. I always wanted to be that role model, that someone we could all believe in.

All my life I have made bad choices, but always wanted the best. Effort never appealed to me but I had dreamt the dream of a million men. Finally I stand here amongst the top ten choices in CANADA - how dare I question my own abilities, I have learned to push myself beyond what I believe my limits to be because behind that lies one more push. That push is what got me here.

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Major Memories (Thus Far)

Casey-Jo - Episode2

Me sucking major ass at the first competition (interviewing Yellowcard) yet somehow managing to make it into the top ten!

Amusing ourselves in the hotel by playing spoons, twister, cards, or whatever.

Mine and Chris' first fight on the bus (are you sleeping yeah I sleep with my eyes open you're a bitch whoa who hopped on the sensitive train) and then having ten truces - haha I love that kid.

Christian's Patrick Swayze Chip N Dales outfit.

Norman and his energy chart.

Sean, oh I love him and how he's always so FABULOUS! Haha. No offence to anyone who has a homosexual preference, but I've always secretly wanted a flamboyantly gay friend...he is HILARIOUS! And how shallow am I.

Jen and I singing These Words to Big Norm's disgusting rat. Me punting the ugly scary rat. Jen redeeming herself magnificently against Tracey at the elimination ceremony. <3.

Nathalie being the mom for us all.

Katrina teaching us the Missy Elliott dance to Lose Control and her army pants with a hole ripped in the crotch, batman belt buckle, and late night sushi.

Luke aka Conan O'Brien and his hipster scenester dancing with Jen and I, flashing the room lights to make it strobe.

Zach playing guitar at the airport and us making up show theme songs, plus the fact that hes a Newfie (!) haha.

Frank, oh Frank. How he got drunk and passed out at karaoke last nite but still managed to sing Backstreet Boys. How he dumped Norms pimp cup full of tic tacs on my head and I took his neatly organized drawer of tic tacs and slammed it on his head and he tried to throw water on me. How he shoved cake in my mouth when I already had a bite and I gagged and he ripped a fork through my lip ring then I cried but forgave him. Hahaha. Funny stuff.

Angie and Sean desperately trying to make me over before the elimination ceremony in my lame attempts to look decent and being referred to being as awkward in stillettos as Rachael Leigh Cook in She's All That. Me secretly spying on Angie at the flight terminal and then us forming a secret alliance to represent the westcoast steez!

Producer Eric knocking on the door.

Crystal and I making Tim over as Robin Black and dressing up in bathing suits and 80s long shirts and boots and getting made fun of.

Chris, when interviewed by Devon, "I think I can do anyone's job better than them! If I don't make it here I'm moving to Baltimore and becoming a stripper." His Electric Circus dancing in the rockstar suite. "I can't go back to work now because I'm a celebrity, what do I do?". Haha he was a really funny one too. Awe love!

Reading the Paris Hilton book with Rochelle and Supes.

Discussing and laughing with Nicole how I am referred to as a Vans Warped Tour Groupie when I've dated ONE person in a band for the love of pete and she openly admits to band-aiding it up!

Rebecca talking about suppositories, being called a bitch constantly.

Yes, there are certain people here who definitely have more personality than others.

Geez, where's the camera when you really need it!

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She Bangs

Casey-Jo - Episode2

Today I did absolutely sweet poop all...the day's events consisted of movies here at the hotel, and then being allowed to be separated into the public eye again to go to the theatre. The flick I was stuck with? Brokeback Mountain, and it WAS. Two and half hours of my life that I'll never get back dudes.

On the cab ride home we managed to sneak a look at the Much Music headquarters and I saw a bit of the opening show, which has apparently been on non-stop. Such a tease! I can't wait to see it all. It's actually nice to be disconnected from my life for a while, believe it or not. Not having a cell phone as a distraction makes me feel like I'm on a little vacation, my life's on a temporary hold.

I love Toronto, I thought the city would scare me. Tomorrow were fortunate enough to get to go shopping!! (separated of course). I almost had a heart attack. I'd love to go sight seeing, check out the city a bit more, take some photographs, find some clean air somewhere (it must exist!) We're moving into the Penthouse on Sunday and filming will commence once again. Gotta be strong Case.
I've been writing in my personal journal a lot, yeah my brain never stops. I wish I had my own personal laptop because writing takes FOREVER and my brain thinks too fast and doesn't seem to ever stop. For some reason I prefer to write over actually speaking. Like, whenever I get questioned and stuff I feel so put on the spot and later on I think of other things I would have liked to add. But it's all a learning experience!

Hmm, wondering how I will pay rent and bills when I'm away, 'specially if it will be for an undetermined amount of time and considering the fact that I wasn't given notice to save for being away. That's probably the only downfall of this whole shebang. Hey remember Ricky Martin? (random). She bangs she bangs.

Applying and trying for this position which is the biggest and longest, toughest and most competitive possible job ever is kind of like a band that's starting out: You practise (prolly in some little garage and such), you learn, you grow and change (for the best hopefully), you put out that one hit, and hopefully you sound original and get a great response and you put out the tracks and albums and keep up the fan base and everything (etc etc). That's the easiest thing I can relate this to at the moment, and I don't wanna be no one hit wonder. I guess Ricky Martin had his time, but if I am the next one to be eliminated I know it won't stop there. Love, peace and happiness.

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Casey's Song

Casey-Jo - Episode2

Happy Groundhog Day! Apparently I'm going to be portrayed as the stupid salon chick in the opening series of the show. There's more to my life than that folks! Come on! I headed over bright eyed and bushy tailed to Urban Textures downtown and was finished long before Franklin was even done getting his hair "did". I'm kinda nervous to see how it turned out, hopefully I don't look too MUCH like a moron. My cheeks began to hurt as I pretended to answer a call and then, pause, look up at the camera, smile cheesily over and over...haha oh I love this whole experience to death! I cannot complain! It was fun but also kinda weird for me because everyone was there on my behalf...crazy.

I had the pleasure of speaking to my little sister Chelsea for a ten minute monitored call. I was so ecstatic to hear her voice! My apologies to everyone, I know it's really hard when I can't talk about anything or give a shout to letcha all know how things are going. The perks of reality TV! Haha a nice excuse pour moi.
Later on we had our solo photo shoot and group shots. That was a fun experience too, I flashed my "Blue Steele" a few times, AND WHAT!? "You're a tiger! Dance munkee, dance!"

GASP! SHOCK! HORROR! The producers decided to let us out of this place for dinner, in two separate groups of five of course, with chaperones. Why separate groups? Well you cant know who made the top ten sillies! I was so fortunate to scarf down some chicken fa-jit-as and a fishbowl margarita, on the rocks thankyouverymuch! I even ate dessert. Needless to say, my stomach was nice and bloated after dinner, but oh it didn't stop there. We found out that the hotel has karaoke most nights, how we weren't magically told before I have no idea! You all know me, I LOVE KARAOKE! So we had some laughs. Course they didn't have much selection as Sopranos back home, but I managed two duets: "If I could turn back time" a Cher classic with Sean (too good to be true people! He stole the spotlight while I was a mere backup gogodancer chorus singer) and "Piece of my Heart" with Nik, even though it was the wrong version. So much fun!

Dallas Green, for those of you unaware, singer of Alexisonfire, will be having three shows here that all sold out in under a minute and I would love to go. Someone find out how to FedEx me tickets and get a chaperone! Delna, I'm looking in your direction. Go download "Casey's Song", listen to it, think of me, and give someone a hug today. Xoxo.

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The Year Of The Dog

Casey-Jo - Episode2

Oh em gee Canada double yew tee eff!!

I'm officially the first nerd blogger of the 2006 Much Music VJ search!

This is flippin' rad! I can't believe that I'm actually here. We've been secluded here at our hotel AKA the most pimpin pad ever...no phones (no texting!? I'm losing the bulging muscle I once had in my right thumb), no television (Family Guy, oh how I miss thee), no internet (can't waste my life away searching for MySpace whores), no newspapers or media (what's happening in tinsel town people... Brangelina? Tomkat? Bennifer?! Oh my!).

Tonight we received some rewards: 3 laptops to share for blogging purposes, our own personal Much phones for snapping photos and capturing videos for the website, 25 DVDs to relax and kill brain cells with, and trivial pursuit (oh great, my fave) to use that knowledge that we all have inside of us!

I love this man, talk about spoiled rotten, it's redonkuolous. We're totally not hard done by here at all...I'm having the time of my life! But get this: until today we were living off a lifetime supply of Tic Tacs and bottled water (don't worry my faithful fans, we have a choice of mint OR orange! Hah!). Fortunately tonight we were able to be chaperoned and get some groceries to take back to our hotel...my last real meal was on Friday and today's Wednesday, my stomach was practically eating itself! But really I can't complain at ALL! I am looooooving every moment of this and I will as long as it lasts!

Last night we went to our first "elimination ceremony" (*cue scary music: dun dun dah!) and we found out who the lucky finalists are...myself included! Holy pancakes batman! I had no idea what to expect and I still definitely don't know what the expert panel are looking for. They were pretty harsh last night as you may have seen...but I know that they must really be sweet. Besides, they just want to find that "special" person and they know the business best, hence why they're experts! (That robin black is one serious ass clown though, quote me on it).

The production crew are busting their ass, all the contenders are AWESOME, no bulls**t, I love them all. I miss the previous 10 that were sent away this morning, but come on here people, there will only be ONE much music VJ (ME baby! ME!).

Being on a reality show is weird so far, and it can only get funnier! Sure sometimes the moments aren't "real" ('can you do that again!? I missed that'), we don't know what's going on, what's being aired, said, etc ('you have 2 minutes and one question: here's your mic!') and I know that they can make things seem how they want to and set it up for entertainment and rating purposes, but I keep my sense of humour (minus the few emooo Casey-Jo-steez I've had). It's so neat to see how all of this stuff works man! It's a once in a lifetime experience and I am so fortunate to be here and this stupid grin couldn't even be slapped off my face. I know I keep saying it, but this is still all so surreal to me.

In order for me to REALLY be successful and make it into the final 4 (which is when my fans come into play and get to VOTE) I need to change a few things: my nervousness and the fear of disappointing myself and others.

Dude, I'm my own worst enemy what can I say, but I keep it real. Once I see myself on TV I think it'll hit me hard (yeah like a punch in the baby maker because the nation will get the most intimate inside look at how much of a dork I actually am!).

After leaving the Victoria airport and watching the city lights from above I almost shed a single tear...ALMOST! But once I arrived at the airport and had the cameras instantly in my face, I knew it would be a fun ride. The first day was the longest day of my life and now we're going on day five and it has still yet to sink in! I've made some great friends (even though "they say" we're supposed to be competitive back stabbing dramatic enemies) and I've laughed an insane amount and now have a six pack (Awe jeah! Something' good came out of this so far).

We've been busy with press interviews, "secret confessionals", competition challenges, photo shoots, and entertaining ourselves while waiting for the next surprise. I can't wait to see what the penthouse is like; I heard there's a hot tub...and some...uhhh...sexy boys that come with the tub? No wait, maybe that was this repeating dream I have. Anypiddle, the competition with the talented final ten will be tough, let me tell you...all I can do is represent the west coast Casey-Jo goofy, hard working styles.
Nevertheless, this whole experience will be unforgettable and I'm so fortunate. The year of the dog? No, the year of the female VJ, CJ, Casey-Jo. Thanks to everyone for all the support and love, I miss you all tons and I hope I make you proud!

Excuse me while I go watch the Notebook for the bazillionth time and bawl like Devon Soltendieck (what!? Shut 'yo mouth Casey!). Peas (in a pod).

PS: Keep watching for the best entertainment you'll see this year!

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