After All, I Am Me
Norm - Episode3
Some may consider me a loser for getting kicked off the show first. Some may consider me a victor for surpassing 2000 plus VJ hopefuls to get into the top 10. I personally feel that I am neither a winner or a loser, I am Norman.
Throughout my life, I found it hard to confine myself into one single entity. I was constantly changing interests, hobbies, personalities, and values. One minute I'm this suave, and sexy Filipino Sisqo, the next minute I'm a freestyle rappin, spray can totin, breakdancin b-boy. And in a sinful heartbeat, I go from ordained future pastor, to a f**k-the-world rebel. Another chapter in my life led me towards the drum and bass raving scene. Then a sharp turn on my life's path lead me towards a career in Gospel singing. Then I went from a strict thai-boxing vegetarian, to a carnivorous chef-in-training, back to a junk food munching, street hustler that jumped from house to house.
The one thing that never changed was the constant change. Never in my life have I been as stable as I feel today. The MuchMusic VJ search, along with all the contestants, media, producers, and staff, have given me the opportunity to really reflect on who I am and who I want to be. After so many years of constant change, I have finally come to a consensus with myself. With all the allegations of me being a front on camera, or me being this faker that puts up a cool show on cam, I can't help but take them into consideration. Sometimes people see things in you that you don't see in yourself. So instead of being the pride-filled, cocky hard-head, I decided to re-evaluate myself.
I came to this competition not knowing what to expect. I knew I had what it takes to be a VJ, but I didn't know which one of my personas would fit the bill. Since the latest version of Norman consisted of a show-stopping, costume wearing, alter egoist, I figured I come to the show with the intent to showcase a variety of talents. After all, that's who I am...a man of many talents. Steve knew it, Traci knew it, Robin only saw bulls**t, and Kardi saw the hypeman in me. Kudos to them!
But the problem was, how would the viewers see it? Did they want a Jamie Foxx-like, multi-talented personality, or did they want...a VJ? And that's what I asked myself after I got cut.
Now I'm not questioning who I am, nor am I questioning my ability to host and entertain, but what everyone should remember is whether or not MuchMusic wanted what I had to offer. Them cutting me was not a decision based on my talents or my abilities. It was a decision based on what MuchMusic wants in a VJ. If I didn't't fit the bill, then I can't get mad at that. Why would I force Much to hire someone that doesn't fit their requirements? I'd probably end up embarrassing myself even more.
There's also one thing everyone should remember...whether you are a fan, a viewer, or a contestant...this is showbusiness, and this is what happens. So, with this whole "keep it real" deal, I know I kept it real to the best of my ability. I gave what I thought was appropriate.
Unfortunately, it wasn't what Much wanted. But I'm satisfied because I got something I wanted even more than the VJ position...Me. I've come closer to a Norman that I can stay satisfied with. And with that in mind, ask the question again...is he a winner or a loser. I'll leave that for you to consider.
Thanks again for the support everyone!
Much Love.
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Cold Hearted
Kardinal Offishall - Episode3
The 1st cut is the deepest. I thought after letting go of 10 people, one would've been a piece of cake. Not so much. A bunch of the 10 really didn't have that "spark" on MOD. That was a chance to be on one of the highest rated shows in the country and really PROVE yourself. I think they proved that its easier said than done! Rebecca was a real let down, plus she was dressed like my grandma...Tim sounded like Leah (not good), and Norm - well his overacting actually compensated for the fact that he's not so great as an actual VJ. I thought he did pretty decent though, compared to some of the others. Hmmmmm.
My girl Nikki. She looks hot as hell, but she didn't stand out at ALL. I'd like to see her do well, but she's gotta be more than a pretty face.
Larissa? That little princess is just lucky some of the other judges like her. She cries at the drop of a dime. None of the other contestants like her. She definitely smells of Eau De Biyotch (Pardon my French).
Well, in the end, Norm managed to impress the judges the least and was kicked off. Maybe he couldve gotten way better. Maybe not. I just hope the others take note and realize that WE AIN'T F**KIN AROUND. It's tough deciding each week who goes and who stays...but guess what? Us experts are getting paid to see who gets paid in the end. Until one of them gets the job-we are flying THIS plane - so IMPRESS ME OR PACK YOUR BAGS! (Wow, TV made me cold hearted! Cooooooold blooooooded! Big up Dave Chappelle. LOL.)
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Living Like Oprah
Nathalie - Episode3
Holla! Whad up y'all?
I hope everyone is in good spirits. Cuz I know I am. And its not cuz I made the cut or because I'm leaving in this big ass 6 million dollar penthouse. It's because I got to co-host MOD with Matte (for like 5 mins lol) but it was sweet as hell, even if I were to go home today (which happens to be elimination day) I would still be so happy. It was one of the best experiences I ever had.
After that we had a press party with various magazines, newspapers and radio stations in our penthouse who wanted to speak with all of us either individually or as a group. But that wasn't even the best part! The best part was being treated like royalty! It was sweeeet, lol. We had a DJ all up in this bitch! Lol. It was also catered with wicked food and a sweet ass bar, lol. I swear I was living like Sean combs/Oprah for 1 night and I loved every second of it. Don't worry guys we all took pics and videos with our phones that they gave us, so you guys wouldn't miss out.
But that's it for now. I jus wanted to do a quick entry and give you readers an update on what's been goin on. But b4 I go I want to give quick shout outs to my pretty baby Lexus (I miss you like crazy), my nephew Darnel my sisters Sylvie, Jennine, my mom and dad for helping with my daughter while I'm gone. My cousin Amanda my girls Lola, Camille, Amanda D, Tovey, Simone, Shannon (thx 4 helping my mom), Inka and Adora. My boys Terrence, Sean, Omie and Vincie and my most current homeboys Christen, Chris (I'm mailing you your hat) and 1 of the funniest white boys I've ever met Luke (keep hood Luke, lol). And for my fans (that sounds so friggen weird "fans" lol...whateva) thanks for cheering me on and finding me entertaining lol. K, I'm out.
Nuff luv and respect.
One!
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This Should Be A Cakewalk
Nathalie - Episode3
Hey everybody! Did you miss me...cuz I missed you guys. Well...
Today was a big day. We moved into our new place...the penthouse!!! Sweeet. I know most of you will see our new place on TV so you'll know what I'm talking about. But for the rest of you deadbeats who couldn't take the time to watch a diva on TV, lol you missed a good episode! Well let me explain what you missed.
The crib has 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms in 3 out of the 4 bedrooms (but you know your girl was hooked up with a bathroom. I'm not doin' it ghetto fab like some of these peeps...hahahaha suckers!!!) Anywayz it's all in good fun.
It's gonna be funny as hell to see what's gonna happen, cuz already some of these peeps are goin crazy and getting on each other's nerves, lol. It seems like people are quickly forgetting that we are on a reality television show. And what is a reality show without the (say it with me everyone) DRAMA!! But whateva maybe I'm the only one who thinks like that?? but right now I'm in Erik's sweet ass room in his big ass bed writing to you lovely folks about my day which has been extremely eventful to say the least. And the funniest part of this whole thing for me, is that we have only been here for 1 week, lol...we have 8 more weeks to go, lol. Lord... this should be a cake walk....not! lol.
Anywayz beautiful people I'm out, but we'll talk again. I hope you enjoyed my entry and we'll talk soon than later I hope.
Nuff luv and be good to each other.
One.
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MOD Time
Frank - Episode3
Today was a crazy day...we went down to MOD. I mean I was there not to watch the show but to co-host. Matte and I threw to a Kanye West video. I was supposed to do the premiere of the Touch The Sky video, but they changed that on me at the last minute. Whatever that was all good, I was there and I was happy so whatever.
That night we came back and there was this media blitz just waiting for us. I was so amazed. If I ever felt like I made it in life, this was the moment that shows it. For my whole life I have always had the same thing to say, but now all of a sudden people cared. I was happy. I went from one camera to another for one show to some magazine.
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Shopping
Frank - Episode3
Today I think the fun began a little - we went grocery shopping. I never thought that I would to see the day when shopping became my idea of fun. We went to this cheesy ass grocery store where the food was all expensive and organic, there was nothing with preservatives, but whatever, we made do with our $500. There was a little problem again with Larissa and this time Erik, I don't know I just think that she is going through an episode.
We spoke as a group, I laid out my thoughts and feeling, I just brought it to her and personally I think that we (her and I) came to a resolution. It was a good day today, a lot was accomplished a lot was resolved, I just can't wait for the challenge, I'm ready. Bring it, bitches!!
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Penthouse & Attitude
Frank - Episode3
First night in the penthouse, it takes no time for drama to begin. People must realize that you are on television; the whole country is watching you. You can't act a fool (unreasonably). I don't know what's real with Larissa, but her attitude tonight was mad weak. If she wants to be a drama queen go ahead and be that, that's good TV, but that also`messes up with the rest of your stay at the penthouse. I got no beef with her but she is not my purpose so if she wants to act all grizzly then I feel absolutely no way about it.
Man, I am looking outside of this 6 million dollar penthouse at the beautifully lit city listening to the Gorillaz album, thinking what the hell did I do right in my life to deserve all this. I got to tell anyone who is reading this to always follow through with your dreams no matter how impossible it may seem.
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Networking
Erik - Episode3
Just when I thought that it couldn't get any better, we came back to the penthouse to find a crazy posh party being thrown in our honour. With every last detail looked after, from the fully catered 5 star menu to the biggest names in Canadian showbiz. It was all here and happening...this was the place to be.
Picture this...a 3 story pimped out penthouse worth approx $6.5 million decked out with the best furniture and everything that you need brought to you by the amazing staff that comes with this place! Much and Insight have seriously hooked us up large!
The one thing that was a catch with the party was we had to be open for interviews. And let me tell you I loved every second of it and every interview was an amazing experience. From Star Daily, TV Guide, TV Times, Fashion 18, Dose, The National Post, Vancouver/Edmonton/Toronto Sun, Much News, Weekly Scoop and Star!TV just to name a few. I was getting pulled left and right by the media and felt like a Rockstar it was a good test of character and loved it! I networked and got some great contacts and even made some good friends from this experience.... Thanks to everyone who was there and was involved in making these amazing opportunities come true!
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Just After MOD
Erik - Episode3
I just can't explain this feeling! As every day passes it gets better and better and I am actually living out my dream. There is no way for me to explain how I feel right now.
In my opinion we just had one of the best days here. It was the greatest feeling in the world. We started off the day by going to "MuchOnDemand" thinking that we were going to be guest in the audience. When we got there they sprung it on us that we were going to co-host...Can you say Sweet?!!! Omg it was so cool and I wish I could do it everyday! I found out the reality of live TV as I was standing next to Matt and the PA was counting down 5,4,3 and then they pass me a new different topic that I m supposed to throw to on live TV... It was a great test and I feel that for the last second unexpected change that I had a solid performance. At the end of my segment I had Matte and a few of the Much crew as well as audience members pull me aside and congratulate me. I feel that I could have done better and hope that I can show you guys that I have more in me and that I have what it takes to be a VJ. I want everyone out there to understand that I want this more then anything and will keep trying to up my game for you and give you the full extent of my personality that you deserve without my jitters.
I want to be the next VJ so bad you just don't understand! I WANT TO THANK MY FANS AND JUST SAY THAT I APPRECIATE ALL THE SUPPORT. I JUST CAN'T SAY IT ENOUGH THANK YOU! And to my family, Mom, Frankie, Jenny and all my Friends I love and miss you guys!
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Just Before MOD
Erik - Episode3
Well today was a little out of hand and some drama play out ...We had to go to the grocery store with $500 cash for us to buy food for all 10 of us living here in the penthouse. I was put in charge and was given the responsibility of organizing the event and had the final say over what we bought! Keep in mind I was trying to please the group as one! Everyone in the group was happy and co-operative and was a great team except one! "The Big L"! My job was to ensure that we had food that would last the week and that everyone could eat and the general consensus of 9 out of the 10 was that I did a great job at looking out for the group as one. Big thanks to Norm for the cooking!
You don't understand that when we can't watch TV here and they brought us a copy of the first episode it was amazing to see it and be a part of it! It made me realize how big of a deal this is and how bad I really want this job! I can't wait till you guys get to see the other episodes and I hope you enjoy them. I am so happy that Much is making a hot show...keep it up! I am loving every minute here a just taking it all in. I say what's up to my fans and family...Have to go to MuchOnDemand now so talk to ya soon...
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Major Drama
Erik - Episode3
This just keeps getting better!
Well I have had a few good sleeps in the master suite and I could really get into this lifestyle... but who am I
kidding, VJ's do it for the love of the job. There isn't huge money in Canadian TV yet I'm here and want this more then anything! Don't get me wrong - we are living like Rockstars and I'm going to enjoy and love every single moment here! I want this job so bad and won't let you down if I get it!
There has been some major drama since we moved into the penthouse...some real and some not! I just want to say to those of you who know me... (You know how I am, and what's real and what's not!!!) And to those of you who don't I will just say that I am myself as much as possible, and you all know that they have a way with editing. I can just imagine what's getting cut together! Well I must say that this experience is amazing and I wouldn't trade it for the world. A Big what's up to all my FANS...I LOVE YOU GUYS and to my Family and Friends ....Mom, Frankie, Jenny Lynn, Teag, Jay P, Denno, Jay D, Hem, Bird, kerddy, and everyone else I love and miss you all. Ps: to Casey's little sis what's up from the sell-out!
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One Of Us Is Winning!?
Casey-Jo - Episode3
Oh MY gosh!! We were just allowed to watch the first episode (we're about a week or more ahead of you guys) and let me say, "It's just sunk IN!" This is REAL, it's really really real! Maybe everything that is happening isn't 100%, maybe some things seem to be set up, we complain about stupid shit and act hard up but really we're definitely NOT man and... we've started this effed up family in this little household and it's only the start of all of our networks and great things to become. Holy smokes, wow, I don't even know. Wow. Hahahaha. I'm a dork! Everyone knows. The second episode has aired tonight and I cannot WAIT to see it, or maybe CAN I?! OH SNAP hahaha this is hilarious! We're all into the show now, just like one of my reality shows that I would've loved back in my "old life" and what's so bizarre is it's US that are the contestants and characters...and ONE of us is WINNING!? AHHHH okay I'm nervous again, this is soooooooo exciting! OHEMGEEZ I feel like a twelve-teen year old hitting up the online chatrooms, all giddy like...I need a serious five for my silly time. HAHAHAHA okay I'm done, PEACE OUT A TOWN. I love you all!
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Emo Casey-Jo
Casey-Jo - Episode3
Reality TV just isn't.
I really miss everyone back home, I want to get this more than anything and I'm not willing to let anything stand in my way, so I try not to think about what's happening too much.
No try hards, no posers, no people who are acting fake in front of the cameras, where's the script?-like type will stand in my way. I didn't get the memo on that one. I've done theatre and acting before, lets all keep it real you guys. I didn't come here to compete with others wanting attention, yelling and craving for entertainment when the camera's rolling, yet boring and complacent when it's not around. I personally think I've shone the brightest when it's just been me and my VJ hopeful roommates. If I go home within the next couple of days I know that I will have stayed true to myself and I'll be so damn proud of myself for making it this far and being the Casey-Jo most people know and love (and I hope you'll all be proud too).
Too much drama has gone on since we've arrived in the penthouse. It's a fantastic place ($6 million reportedly!), I love everyone that has made it this far, and once again, I can't stress enough how much of an amazing once in a lifetime experience this is. It still seems like a dream, as cliche as it is, that's the reality for me my friends. Know that I think of all of you and hold everyone dear to my heart. I hope that I'm not portrayed in a way that isn't typical of me, and I would also hope that everyone understands the situation. All I can do is continuously wear my heart on my sleeve and see where we go from here.
I wish I could talk to so many people, and being cut off completely has been really hard, like I said. My iPod is dying, and my favourite tunes were the only thing that kept me grounded. I've been writing a lot, and I know this period in my life will be one that has me growing and finding myself more. I know that this isn't all for nothing. I stare out of these windows, I feel like we're in a snow globe; it's beautiful. My tiny, cozy room that I share has a 180 view of downtown Toronto, it's amazing! Que sera sera, whatever will be will be...Hakuna Matata, what wonderful place...it's all I can say for now honestly...so many mixed emotions...I just spoke to my sister again and it really hits you hard...I hope everyone that is reading this gets the chance to feel like I do one day. Emo Casey-Jo, reporting, over and out. Breaker breaker 10-4.
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The Straight Up Facts
Robin Black - Episode3
FACT: We have to send someone home every episode now.
FACT: We listened to you, the viewers. You started to hate Norm.
FACT: We also got tired of hearing that guy speak.
Look, let me be honest with all of you. At this stage, we take your polls pretty seriously. We know from your emails, calls, and texts, who you do and don't like. But we still have the final say. You'll get your turn.
In this case, we, like you, thought Norm should go. He was pretty fake. Pretty annoying. Kind of a dick. Pretty...how should I put this...kick-off-able.
But know this: we are making the decisions. We see more than you do. We are the "Experts". If you don't like someone, but we think they still have potential, we'll keep 'em. Sorry. That's how it is. You'll get your chance in the Final Five. But, in this case, with Norm, we were ALL in agreement.
Look, this is not a game. Well, maybe it is, but it's also serious. Someone is getting a dream gig. Someone is gonna be on TV, in your homes, in your lives. A MuchMusic VJ. And, damn it, I want to make sure they are someone who deserves this privilege. And that someone ain't Norm.
Listen, my friends, so far NONE of these rejects are worthy of being in your homes, looking you in the face sayin " I'm
But...if I'm being honest...I'm STARTING to see some potential in some of them. But DAMN if I'm gonna tell THEM that. No, I think I'm gonna keep (acting on your behalf) kicking the s**t out of them. Pushing them. Scaring them. Freaking them out. Taking no bulls**t, and telling no lies. And I want you to help me.
You think Tim's cute, but not smart enough? Let me know here. I'll test him.
You think Casey Jo can't work under pressure? Tell me. I'll put ten billion pounds per square inch
directly on her heart.
Sean's fabulous meter is dropping like Paris Hilton's party dress? I'll rain on his moustache parade.
You want to see how Rebecca handles a joke about her bad bouffant-mohawk? I'm your man.
Do you want me to kick Erik in the nuts? Please? Nothing is sacred. And nobody is safe.
Hey, look, I'm not an a$$hole. Ask my wife. Ask at the school for handicapped kids that I volunteer at. Ask the nice old lady next door that I get groceries for when it's cold. But I'm gonna be an a$$hole to these people. I'm gonna be an a$$hole to Rebecca, Sean, Casey-Jo, Natalie, Nikki, Frank, Tim, Larisssa and Erik Erik Erik Erik ERIK...especially Erik. He's a punk. I'm gonna be their worst nightmare.
Somebody has to do it. And it ain't gonna be Steve, Kardi, or Traci. Or their bleeding hearts.
I'm gonna kick and scratch and spit on these 9 wannabes until we see who rises above, stands out, proves us wrong, and earns a job at the best television network in the world. Then I'll shake their hand. And we'll all
watch from our living rooms as they bring us culture and music and politics and news and laughs and stuff.
But they are gonna have to earn it. And I want you to be involved.
Tell me what you think. Give me your advice. Help us find the next MuchMusic VJ.
Imagine the job...you're at Much, hanging with Devon or Leah...you're gonna interview Simpleton Plan, then host the party at MOD in front of the nation...tonight, you're going to the My Chemical Romance Afterparty...tomorrow you are gonna tell Hedley what you REALLY think of them on national TV...
Sound like a fun job? NO S**T!
And I don't wanna give this CAREER, this LIFE, to the wrong person. So I'm gonna be tough. REALLY tough. Be tough with me.
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In The Spotlight
Steve Anthony - Episode3
One for the money, two for the show, hey Big Norm, it's time to go.
Articulate, bright, charming, talented. Why did we dump him?
Too much about being in the spotlight. Actually, too much being the spotlight. It's too bad, really.
To be a VJ, you have to communicate on a "one-to-one" basis. Norm communicates on a "Norm-to-Norm" basis, which is great for a performer, but too much for a VJ.
Norm will have a successful career as a front person, performing for people. But a VJ has to be a "conduit" for the viewer, and it just felt like it was too much about him.
And that's not a fault. That's great for him, and exactly the right attitude for a spotlight person, just not the right attitude for a VJ.
I write these thoughts for you to comment on, and please do so. I am doing this job as a panelist to get you, the Much fan, the right person, and if you think I am wrong, I'd like to know why. It might help me in my decisions on future episodes.
Part of it, also, of which he was not the only guilty one, was opening his mouth at this point about what his plans are for the future. Good god! I'm paraphrasing here, but talking about how MuchMusic is the springboard to what he really wants to do is not something you want judges who are deciding who is getting the immediate job of being a VJ to hear. Of course i don't begrudge him his long term plans. But it's not what you don't say, it's what you do say. He could have kept that to himself, considering the environment that he was in. Bad choice of something to talk to the press about. Did he think that we are going to appreciate someone who doesn't even have the job yet, and they have already quit and moved on? What were they thinking? No one grows old being a VJ. We all know that. But timing counts. And this was bad timing.
On a side note, I know that many of you think that Robin is pretty much a bastard. Well, let me tell you this, as someone who is sharing the panel table with him; he's really a lamb in wolf's clothing. He cries like a baby when we come to the final decision about who is "off the air". I try to cuddle him, but he won't let me. So I cuddle Traci instead. Then I cuddle Kardi.
I like my job.
I like my job a lot.
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Eye Hunger
Traci Melchor - Episode3
Norm's gone! I know I was personally really tough on him but for good reason. He's very talented, funny and cute but he didn't really focus his energies on being a VJ and that is what this Search is all about! He'll pop up again - he's definitely going places and I'm looking forward to seeing where all that potential leads him.
This process is definitely significantly harder now that we are down to 9 finalists...you see the hunger in their eyes and you know some of them are really looking at this as a way out of the lives they are living now.
Fear, tension, anxiety, playfulness, ambition and nerves are omnipresent inside Much HQ whenever the finalists are facing the expert panel. But I know there's another side of each and every one of them. During my day job at MuchMoreMusic I find myself running into finalists in the hallway, in the bathroom - and once they were even in the M3 offices working on a challenge. When I encounter them in these situations I have to bite my tongue not to give them a word of encouragement, find out how there doing or even say hi! I have to limit my contact with them to the panel meetings but I'm sure they get it!
Until next time...The Search is on! Stay Fabulous.
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He's Gonzo
Dina Pugliese - Episode3
And so it begins....and ends, for another Hopeful. From 10 to 9.
Just as I feared - it's getting worse and much harder to deal with loss as I get to know all of the finalists.
This all started off fun and fancy free - I show the 10 finalists their pimped up new penthouse - they party in the hot tub - all is good. Two challenges later - we're in our first finalist elimination round and i have to stare NORM dead in the face and tell him he's gonzo. It's the first time I've ever seen him so raw and real. His guard completely down, totally vulnerable with fear in his eyes.
Rebecca was having a hard enough time beside him - tears streaming down her face - and the look of relief when she realized she was off the hook...this time. The girl who quickly became the face of the show with the catchphrase "See you at the penthouse, bitches," got one more chance to prove she's more than a pretty one-trick pony a la Paris Hilton ("That's hot")...
Norm - not so lucky...I just hope he's okay and realizes his full potential. The boy is super-talented and will no doubt find his way back into the spotlight - move over Dave Chappelle - the Norm show may be hitting the tube soon...don't give up on your dreams Norm...
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The View From Up Here
Tim - Episode3
Another day here at the penthouse! Did I mention how amazing it is? Some people have complained and said they had expected more but I'm thrilled to be living in such a nice place and even just to be here in the top ten still blows my mind, it's amazing. I mean, I know I can do this job but I'm still just overjoyed to be here and appreciate every second of it, I hope the rest of them do too because the numbers are going to get smaller and smaller.
The view from up here is amazing, the penthouse is amazing and topping it off is looking out over the city at night, seeing as far as you can...lake in one direction and nothing but lights on the other. If any of you have been to Toronto you can appreciate how amazing this city is, and I have been here before many times...but this time is a little different. I was looking out the window tonight and to quote one of my fav bands Story of the Year "from up here the city lights burn, like a thousand miles of fire" ...it's amazing, I've looked over cities before, but none like Toronto.
Another thing that we were able to do today was call our families, or girlfriends, basically one call to whoever we felt like. I decided not to make a phone call, I just think that I would rather be strong about this and concentrate on the goal here. I do miss all my friends and family like mom, dad, brothers and sisters, K.F. and all my best buds, guys and girls...but I also think that calling them and talking to them will just complicate things.
Everyone else here is getting off the phone all emotional and happy they got to talk to someone but also sad because they miss them. I do think about loved ones and think about them often, but I just leave it there and know they are cheering for me and wanting me to do my best. I'll quote another of my fav bands Cauterize...I just think that sometimes you have to go after what you want, and you have to be strong to do it, so sometimes "Being strong means being heartless"...but no one is going to hold our hands and pamper us like I know some people here would like, it's going to be hard and I want to do the best I can so even if I don't get the job I will still be proud of myself and make my family and friends proud. I'll leave it at that for tonight, have a great night everyone and keep on watching!
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Being Real
Tim - Episode3
Hey guys, how's it going? I hope everyone is enjoying the show because I'm having a lot of fun being here. I also just wanted to say congratulations to everyone that tried out because we saw some of the audition tapes and wow, you are all amazing. But I also just hope that you are all watching carefully. I'm trying my best to be real and be myself...ya it's sometimes hard not to contradict yourself and not know it, due to all the drama and stuff going on, and also sometimes you say something without knowing the full story and then realize what is really happening.
But one thing I will say is that there are a few people here that are playing things up for the camera, people who put on a show and try to get more air time, but I know that the viewers aren't stupid and that they will be able to tell who is real and who is trying too hard, be able to tell the bulls**t from the truth.
Don't get me wrong...I love everyone here, and I hate to gossip and I hate talking about people behind their backs, that's why I'm not naming names, and I also don't want to be remembered as someone who was a cheat or a liar. I would rather be honest and real about things because I think that's what viewers would want to see. The way we act now on TV reflects on us, even if we don't get the job, so I just hope that everyone can see the true music lovers, the people who have a passion for this job, and distinguish them from those who just want to be on TV. Some people here have been condescending with the way they talk and act, others cocky and big headed, others fake and acting for the camera, and other have been the most amazing people to spend time with.
I'll sign off now but stay tuned for all the excitement, and laugh at us when we mess up...you guys are all amazing and thanks for all the support, rock on. I'll talk to you later!
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Then There Were Nine
Sean - Episode3
The first day without Big Norm was calming. It was our day off, possibly to recover from the moment of drama given to us by the judges. We had a nice day of shopping, and the girls got their nails done, did some tanning, I got recognized a few times on the street. This was amusing as all heck. People actually recognized me and wished me luck, it's bizarre to have some sort of fan following and support system.
I'm writing this and Nikki is drunk and hugging me, she's super cute, gotta love her. But she's drunk. I may take advantage of this diddy later ;)
So that's it...all I have left is the shout out I promised the cute Starbucks boy Miguel. Heyo!
PS: Curt, I miss you J. I'll see you in my dreams ;)
PPS: Nikki's drunk and she thinks you're sexy.
Dear people with mullets,
F**k you.
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Elimination Day
Sean - Episode3
Elimination day... dum dum dum...it's like you could cut the tension with a knife! You go from people that are 'ready to go home' to people who...are confident in their staying. I myself feel I did a good enough job to warrant staying another little ditty episode. Go big or go home I always say... actually I never say that... but this could be a good time to start.
Going in there and getting some feedback was good. Required, nice and helpful. You're not going to believe me when I say this...but, I never noticed how often I say fabulous. Apparently it's all the time, so I'd better start thesaurasing other words. I'm thinking about sexy, supertastic, or sponge. Seriously, it was good to know that I had a good segment on MOD. I felt really good about it, so it's good to know that I'm not a complete screw up.
The bottom three had me a little floored. Rebecca got what she deserved, a nice ego popping, mind you I really wanted her to go home. Norm was also not a shock that he was there... Nikki shocked me a little... but, and I'm sure you're all as floored as we were... Umm, Larissa? Why... are you sitting? HELLO! Bizarre. If they want some crazy, dramatic, over-sensitive, psycho for a VJ... I guess they have reasons for keeping her.
Norm going home was a welcome change in the house. The lack of Big Norm's over-acting, and may I add bad, will not be missed by myself. Off-camera Norm? I will miss. Good chef, nice guy, and very not annoying. What's next for the super adventures of Sean? Who knows.
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Just Another Day At The Penthouse
Sean - Episode3
Holy gong show. Today started nice and early at eight in the morning where we got called downstairs by the telephone ringing. Typically when the phone rings it's just the front desk calling for whatever reason. Today, it was a cell phone ringing with a video message from Miss Dina herself! We got some brand new cell phones, cute and orange and they have the fun spinning top on them... I really can't wait to be able to use it.
Dina basically told us that we were going to go and watch MuchOnDemand and then return to the penthouse for our press challenge. I totally expected that today was challenge day... I just wasn't sure what it would be. It was exciting, new phones, I'd get to meet Leah and Matte, and then talk to the press. Boy was I off the mark, we were co-hosting M.O.D. Umm, that's a little awkward for me... but what the hell, live by the rules die by the rules. LET'S ROCK THIS BITCH.
Hosting M.O.D. was so much fun. Blog Blab was basically Leah and I gossiping about the celebrities and the latest drama in the world. We played off each other really well, and I think I had a good challenge. I'm fairly confident right now that I'll be here for another adventure in the penthouse.
The press thing was insane. Honestly, so many people were crammed into the penthouse waiting to interview us! Tons of booze, interviews, music... it was the most surreal experience. The biggest house party I had ever been to, and it was thrown in mine, and nine other people's honour. Bizarre. Anyway... I think you guys may get to hear a more of my babble, I figure I did better than some people... coughLarissacough.
Stay fabulous ;)
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Keep Your Eye On The Prize
Sean - Episode3
Heyo,
Seriously, it's beginning to get out of hand in this place. When Dina told us we were going grocery shopping as a group of ten, being helmed by Erik, it was destined to become a gong show. It seemed like the MINUTE we walked into the penthouse, drama erupted and exploded over everything. A simple grocery outing turned into this big escapade of who wanted what, who hated what, and who was in charge. Honestly people, just take five seconds and breathe.
To make it easiest on myself, I teamed up with Miss Nathalie for the ever fabulous, TEAM DIVA! Team Diva's list of items was entitled 'whatever'. Basically, Nathalie and I had to go and get spices and bread and soda. PS: What kind of grocery store doesn't carry soda? Anyway, somehow or another, Larissa had another psychotic episode, and frankly, I'm so done with dealing with it. She's got some stuff going on, and in a place like this it can start to frustrate you and make you say some terrible things... but let's face it, we don't know what's going on up there. Unfortunately, I have a competition to win, so worrying about her is my last priority. Sorry.
Erik did some good work as team leader, we got food, we lived, nobody died. though there was some dangerous moments up in there. However, Erik should have been watching his back for the undermining efforts of Rebecca. I'm on to this house. Keep your eyes open and your game sharp. Eye on the prize baby. Rebecca can play whatever she feels necessary, she can manipulate whomever and whatever she wants, but just be aware, I'm watching. It's time to kick this up a notch. Let's roll baby. Let's roll.
Courtney P. - I thought about you today. Miss you! *TUMMY TOUCH*
***Sean
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Letters Home
Sean - Episode3
It's getting harder as the days go on and as I start losing more and more sleep. As a human being I get very crusty, very bitchy, very depressed when I'm overtired. Almost like I can't keep focused and keep things in some bizarre sort of perspective. Obviously after having been here for a week, even though it feels like an eternity, you start to miss home. The contact we're allowed is slightly controlled, less than ideal, and extremely limited. I'm not going to let that get in the way of what I came here to do. I, however, can't help but start to let the control slide from my grasp. Maybe I'm going insane?
I want to keep focused. If I have any sort of game when it comes to this competition, it's "keep your eye on the prize". That part of the game gets harder and harder and harder as every day keeps ticking. People try and distract you with their insane ranting, mindless trivial drama, and constant desire for attention. I'm going to rock this bitch the best and only way I know how, and that's doing it the Sean way.
This 'blog' makes me want to recap my days, tell the world about my adventures... but today I feel like I just want to talk and to vent and to just have a little moment with myself, let out some feelings and just, cry a little through my typing. Then you start to realize, crying, bitching, moaning, and letting these people get at you and get at your game, is just taking your eye off the prize. I'm not here to deal with children, I'm not here to deal with insane people, I'm here to win a job, and to make my loved ones proud of me. If I leave here having made my family, friends, and boyfriend proud of me, and I can say that I gave it my all and did my best, then that's all I need. I just need to stay positive, write a few letters and just say a few things to the world:
Dear Curt,
I miss you a lot. I think about you a lot. I hope everything's going good for you and moving according to plan. I'm going to make you proud, and I could really use a hug right now. Thank you for being amazing, thank you for putting up with me...and most of all...thank you for just being you. I'll give you the world some day. I promise.
Dear Andrea,
All I can say, and I can sum it up in a simple sentence, is, thanks for the bracelet.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I'm sorry for a lot of things, I just hope I make you proud... and that when this is all over, you two will still love me no matter what.
Dear Gillian,
You always wonder what you'll do without your other half... I'm not holding up so well some days. Celine and Dion, I miss you... send me the power.
Dear other finalists,
Thank you for helping me through this. Nathalie I couldn't do it without you girl. Rebecca, back off our boyfriend. Casey-Jo, never change... you're a sweet heart. Nikki, I'm glad we're getting closer. You're too cute. Erik, damn you, and thank you... all at once. Tim, every other minute I change my mind about you... it's the circumstances I swear. Norm, we get it... you make everything you say up. It was cool in kindergarten. Frank, I'm not sure. I'm just not sure... you're nice... but you're dumb. Sorry. Larissa, you're insane. Sean, in the immortal words of Miss Samantha Jones, 'Hello my name is fabulous'.
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Elimination Day Jitters
Rebecca - Episode3
Everyone is very blah today. Sean came into my room and I had to ask why it seems like everyone (except for Norm, Larissa, Nathalie, Frank and Tim) is hatin' on me for the past little while. He told me (this is his take on it) that maybe I'm getting carried away with my ego. I told him that I know I'm cocky at times, but I didn't tell him why. If anyone, but Tim, knew why I'm cocky and always talk myself up...then they would know too much about the way I am. I'm talking myself up to convince myself I deserve to stay here and win this job. Everyone gets so down on themselves when they feel like they did a crappy (or not so perfect) job on their challenge. By doing that, the only person that you're going to hurt is yourself.
I really don't want to come back from the panel and see that we have now switched roommates. I really like rooming with Nathalie. She's an awesome girl.
A little birdy told me that the last game the Oilers played was a winner in overtime. Way to take the Mighty Ducks down Oilers!
If I'm eliminated tonight in front of the judges I'm going to cry. The people in this house have become family to me (even the peeps that are mad/annoyed at me). But I've got a really awesome guy to go home to, and this whole experience is like one huge stepping stone for me. Anyone in the top 10 has a fantastic chance to do whatever their hearts desire.
The one, the only,
Beckster
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Sit And Wait
Rebecca - Episode3
I had a fun sleep last night. I sleep above Nathalie. By the time I got to bed last night, she was sleeping—but moaning every time I moved. Weird! Yet very amusing.
Every day here seems like eternity. We are all sitting around watching Family Guy waiting to see what the producers have in store for us next. I'm guessing we are going to have to host MuchOnDemand. I think this because hosting a TV show is a common job of a VJ...it just seems right to want to know who can do it or not.
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The Big Norm Show
Norm - Episode3
Wassup y'all...Big Norm here. This past week has been filled with enough memories to last a lifetime. Let's see...what did I do? I had Ju-Jube wars with Franklin, all out confessionals with Larissa, dissing matches with Mama (Nathalie), Bellini binges at Milestones with the crew, farting matches with Franky...we always seem to be battling it out.
It started with the first freestyle rap off when we first met...all the way down to who's got more clothing, and who rocks a crispier style! But that's my top dog right there! We cool cause we both understand each other on a certain level. Sort of a street cred thing. If we was to be compared to anybody, Frank would be Diddy, and I'd be Biggie!
Now back to what I've done this week. Oh ya! Franklin, Eric, Tim, and myself jumped on stage at a local karaoke bar, and tried to break down our best rendition of the Backstreet Boys song "Everybody". Notice the word "tried". Not even my singing skills could help us. We were doomed from the time we chose the song. After our crazy karaoke experience, I wanted to redeem myself on stage. I put in a request to sing a Stevie Wonder cover...I think it was Superstition...anyways, when I got on stage, all my people were gone! I had no support from my own crew! WHATEVER! I still did my thang! And I got a great response from my little fan club of middle-aged lesbians. Yes, they were lesbians!
Well anyhow, I made my way back upstairs and hung out with the Larissa-myshter. We went to go hang out in the PLAYA PAD (me and Frank's room) but I forgot my pass key. We started banging on the door only to find out that we were interrupting Franky's alone time with John (toilet seat)...he opened the door, pissed off that we broke his flow...if you know what I'm sayin'! Whatever!
OK...so what else have I done. I've been to the Much building before, but it was just for interest or for the MMVAs. When the contestants and I were sent in to do their thang, it was all so surreal knowing that we were there for a purpose other than being just a spectator or a fan attending their favourite band's performance.
You get so used to watching the people in the tube, that it doesn't really hit you until the people outside start waving in at you trying to get your attention. And when I saw my boy Georgie Porgie waving at me from outside while the panel judges were ripping into each and every one of us, I was so ecstatic. I really thought to myself at that one moment that I am on national television, and hundreds of thousands of people were going to tune in to the program and see me - the Big Norm Show, live on Much! CRAZY!
We also had a mini photo shoot to show off our personality. I like to consider myself a sophisticated b-boy that adds pizzazz to the puzzle. I did my b-boy stances and rocked the lenses like a bad man! And mind you, show business isn't as easy as it seems. On TV it might seem all smooth and flawless. But when you’re in the actual situation, it gets real hectic and tedious. A lot of waiting occurs along with nervewracking anticipation.
Wow, I can still keep on going, but I'm going to save some things for future journals. And I think I'm starting to get tired. So it's time for me to go once again. But I will see y'all soon just like you will see me on TV very soon. PEACE!
Love yourself, feel yourself, TOUCH YOURSELF!
Big Norm
Quote of the day:
"After the game, the king and the pawn go back in the same box."
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Elimination Day Thoughts
Nikki - Episode3
Elimination day...du du dahhhh!
Someone's going home, could be me, could be anyone. The mood in the house is pretty mellow; no one is really saying a whole lot. I have an idea of who I think should go home, not because I don't like them as a person, but because I don't think that they are in this for the right reasons. You know what, screw being politically correct, I think Rebecca should go home. She's scandalous, manipulative, and no one trusts a single word that comes out of her mouth. She's telling everyone that she's already got this in the bag and that her boyfriend's transferring to the Toronto fire department for when she gets the job. I'm sorry, but don't count your chickens before they hatch!!! Very unlucky, in the words of my extremely superstitious Chinese grandmother.
Yesterday we all went to Much and got to co-host with Matte and Leah on MOD. It was sweet, tons of fun. Everyone did wicked, which to be honest sucks because it makes it hard to guess who's going home. When we got back to the penthouse we had a press party waiting. I loved it. I got interviewed by Star! Daily, my hometown paper (The Calgary Sun) and a whole bunch more.
The two gals from Dose asked some pretty good questions, not just the ordinary "who's causing drama in the house" type of deal. It's funny how in most of the interviews I did someone asked about the hot tub, or drama. Come on people, we're not just about hooking up and trash talk.
I told Devon from Much that back home I stay away from drama and I don't plan on changing my lifestyle because of my career opportunity. It's true though, I see a couple of people in the house compromising themselves for the camera, it's sad. I hope that the person hired is genuine and real, not acting because I guarantee Much isn't looking for an actor. Anyhow, if this is it for me then it was fun, thanks for everyone's support, see you on the flip side, yo.
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Drama 101
Nikki - Episode3
"Here's a tissue for your issue."
Drama, drama, drama, and hey, here's some more drama. The 10 of us all moved into the penthouse, which is super duper nice, but ever since we moved in people have been cranky! We just had a house meeting; a chopstick was used as our microphone. If you ask me, this is whole situation is just bizarre. I went from being in my hometown where I had absolutely no issues to this luxury penthouse full of hormonal women and testosterone fueled males bitching back and forth. It's not so bad when it's in the "privacy" of the penthouse, but today at the grocery store people were yelling at each other in the poultry section. WTF.
Casey-Jo and I did our portion drama-free, and managed to fight off our first groupie. I don't understand why people have to get angry over groceries - it's just food people!
The room situation is cool. Casey-Jo and I haven't really had an opportunity to bond so I'm glad that we're shacked up together. She's a sweet girl; we have a lot in common. Sean moved in, that was another dramatic episode, but I love that he's sharing a room with us, that guy cracks me up like no other. He just has a way with words that makes the simplest phrases comedic.
Challenge day is coming up, probably tomorrow. We're all wondering what it's going to be, how hard it is, who's going to choke, and who's going to be cut. This game is such a mindf**k, it's impossible to know what's going to happen next. The more I stay in it though the more I want the job. I've always wanted this job -- well who hasn't? -- but I mean I really, really, really want this job. It's just going to be hard if I have to say goodbye next or watch one of my new friends leave. Watching the first 10 go home was hard; especially seeing Jen and Luke go. They're amazing people and I know they'll do awesome no matter what they do.
Dinner's cooking; Chef Norm is in charge, smells good. Sorry guys, this girl's got to eat so this blog is ending NOW!
*Kris, Liz, Andrea, I miss you*
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Feeling Depleted
Nikki - Episode3
I'm taking a short break from today's lessons on "throwing" so that now I can practice "throwing" a freaking tantrum. My brain hurts. Actually, everything hurts. It's been 2 weeks of the most draining/tiring time of my life. I don't really do the gym, but if I did, you could compare this experience with that of a 30 mile run, and that's a big freaking pass right there. Norm went home, but since he's left it feels like 10 other people left with him. I'm thinking it's because he has multiple personality disorder, he has 10 other personas and they all went packing with him. You should really look into that Norm. OK but seriously, I wish you luck buddy, the Norm show will be a huge hit on TV one day, and I'll be sure to scan right past that channel...haha, kidding! OK fine, I'm totally not kidding.
We don't get to see the blogs but I have a question for the viewers. Do I come across as someone that's boring and has no opinions? Cause I've got opinions, lots of them as a matter of fact, I just don't think that throwing myself in front of the camera to tell everyone that I hate the colour yellow is really that relevant. OK fine, that was just an example and I actually like the colour yellow, but you people are smart and I'm sure you can tell the difference between what's real and what's not, right? Keep in mind guys and gals, in every reality TV show you see the personalities talking afterwards about how they're not actually like the people that they were portrayed to be.
Girls, hope Stars was great, and have fun at the New Pornographers show, wish I could be there with you. Xox.
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