May 21st, 2014
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are set to tie the knot in the next few days in Paris, France for the US Memorial Day weekend. While I’m sure their rumoured wedding site of Versailles will be pretty nice and all, I think the couple is missing our on not having their nuptials in Canada. Here’s exactly what they’re missing by taking their long weekend wedding across the pond.
Sure, Versailles is nice, but Parliament Hill is totes the best backdrop for a photo op during any Canadian long weekend.
Rain in Paris? Poetic and romantic. Rain during a Canadian summertime long weekend? Predictable and the worst, but it’s supposed to be good luck.
Most of Kim and Kanye’s gift will be lavish, over-the-top items that many of us have never even heard of. Too bad they’re not getting married in Canada. Everyone needs a quality Hudson Bay blanket. Plus, you can throw it over five of your family members while hiding from Paparazzi.
Seeing a bride arrive in a horse drawn carriage? That’s nice. But what about rolling up in your very own canoe? The nicest.
Kimye’s guests will likely spend the wedding night in chic Parisian hotels. A Victoria Day wedding would involve camping in the great outdoors, regardless of the freezing temperatures. It’ll make a man out of your wedding guests, regardless of their gender.
Midnight snack = POUTINE. That’s French Canadian for ‘delicious’.
Rumour has it that Lana Del Rey will be playing the couple’s reception. I’m sure she’ll be great…but as great as RUSH?
Enjoy France, you crazy kids, and don’t forget Canada for your honeymoon!