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Freddie Mercury of ‘Queen’ during a concert at the Palais Omnisports in Paris. Sept 18, 1984.

Last night I got a discounted rush ticket to We Will Rock You - the hit musical based on the songs of Queen.

I want to start off by stating that the songs in this show are obviously great. I mean, it’s Queen - they were amazing. Freddie Mercury was amazing. The over-the-top theatrics of the music are a good choice for a stage production.

Also, the singers in this musical are great, especially French-Canadian Yvan Pedneault in the lead role of Galileo; he has pitch-perfect - he ain’t no Freddie Mercury, but then again, who is? Also Erica Peck as Scaramouche has impressive belting chops.

So then why did this show suck so damn hard? The story is set 300 years in the future, in an Orwellian world known as Planet Mall, where logo-branded clothes and “safe” computer-generated music are cherished - and individual thought is regarded as dangerous. But along comes Galileo, the young bohemian, who goes on the quest to revive the forgotten joys of Rock n’ Roll. The bohemians then flee to a flooded Las Vegas (ice caps have melted) to find a statue of Freddie rise out of the water and lead them to the direction of Brian May’s guitar, encased in rock at a demolished Wembley Stadium. Galileo plays the guitar and the world is reborn…?

What. The. F**k.

It’s not just that the plot is sheer idiocy, but also there is some sort of moral message that is trying to be conveyed, but in such a half-assed way that I was actually offended. In the show, it is stated early on that the day Rock n’ Roll died - “the day the music died”.. get it? - was with the onslaught of American Idol. Funny - wasn’t We Will Rock You recently showcased on an episode of Canadian Idol? It is then stated that “only the good die young,” and during a nice rendition of “No One But You”, they play a slideshow of Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, Janice Joplin, Freddie, etc - meanwhile the song is sung by a bunch of “bohemians” who have taken on the names “Britney Spears” and “Clay Aiken”! The audacity! The story is just as trite and shallow as the music it pretends to criticize! This show is obviously just a cash grab.

And so I couldn’t help thinking: why not just tell the actual biographical story of Queen instead. Their rise to fame, Freddie’s unfortunate death - depressing, yes, but at least it’s a STORY - one that has IMPORTANT and REAL messages. THAT’S a show that I want to see.

I just find it unfortunate that crap like this packs houses and is actually liked - the audience JUMPED to a standing ovation! But I was left in my seat, dumb-struck, and feeling grateful I didn’t pay full price.

PS: Speaking of shows - one that is definitely worth seeing and one that restores my faith in theatre is Evil Dead: The Musical. It’s totally rank and silly and full of fake blood (but also extremely clever) - what’s not to love! (Hurry - it closes in 2 weeks!)

Photograph Courtesy Getty Images

Posted on Thursday, August 30th, 2007 at 2:32 pm by Soja and is filed under Concerts & Events.

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