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What Taylor Swift Thinks Things Cost: A Speculative Blog

August 5th, 2014

tswiftboat

Taylor Swift was taking a little jaunt around Central Park with a Rolling Stone reporter last month when she decided, ya know, as you do, to help a girl get out of a rowboat. The girl was a big fan so was she was real jazzed about meeting Taylor. I mean, even a non-fan would be pretty stoked to be helped out of a rowboat by Swiftie. The two chatted a bit and, according to the girls’ friend on Twitter, Taylor gave the girl $90 F’N DOLLARS FOR THEM TO GO TO CHIPOTLE.

Now, as a big Chipotle fan, I can tell you that if you get a standard bowl, salad, burrito or tacos it comes to $10.11 (I didn’t need to look that up). So unless it was some Manhattan Chipotle where they you get gold flake salsa or you want a shizz ton of extra guac, it seems like T-Swift over gifted.

We don’t mean to discredit the beautiful act of generosity, we are just so charmed by how much Taylor appears to think (maybe) a burrito costs. So, for the sake of our own entertainment, this is what we think Taylor Swift thinks things cost:

Hair Cut: Hmm, for other people, $650. She has hers done by animated woodland creatures and bluebirds that sing 22.

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Monthly Studio Apartment Rent: $25,000. $5,000 for the bedroom, $5000 for the bathroom, $5000 for the kitchen and $10,000 for the recording studio.

Bus fare: $50. An extra $50 for your own driver.

Tank of gas: $700. I don’t even know if that is wrong. That could be right. Sounds kind of right. I have no clue.

White tube socks: N/A She has never had to buy any. She has had enough left over at her house.

Toothpaste: $150. Or at least that is what her dentist charges for her daily polish. I mean look at dem teeth!

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A small coffee: $110. Coffee is that raspberry mocha coconut chip with toffee sprinkles blended milkshake thing right?

Cupcake: $2.50 (She knows that one)

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