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Essential summer listening.
May 16th, 2014
Of all the young, buff actors in Hollywood, you’d think that by this point Zac Efron would’ve been given a shot at some kind of superhero role. So far, nothing has surfaced for the High School Musical hunk scriptwise, but the other day a rumour hit the newswire claiming that Zac will be getting his own Marvel franchise. With the physique, body type, good lucks and acting chops (let’s face it, if Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth can carry franchises, so can Zac), this seems like a no-brainer. With Spider-Man, Thor, Iron Man, Captain America, Hulk, Ant-Man, X-Men and Fantastic Four all taken, what role would serve Zac best?
We sat down and gave it some serious thought and figured maybe it shouldn’t be reboots of The Punisher or Daredevil, and maybe one of Marvel’s lesser known crime-fighters. Unfortunately, for Eye-Scream, the superhero who can turn to ice cream, he just missed the cut. Mostly due to the fact that we couldn’t find a decent pic to Photoshop.
Cypher: Maybe a superpower that allows you to translate languages is kinda weak, but just get Christopher Nolan on board to make it extra cerebral and you have a blockbuster triumph. Or get Adam McKay to make it very stupid comedy.
Bird-Brain: A New Mutant, Bird-Brain has a major problem in that he can’t stop eating whatever he sees. Can’t see how this could be anything but comedy, unless he starts eating people, which could be horrifying. Of course, get him to eat his enemies, and hey, this could be a pretty awesome and bloody flick.
Whizzer: From what we know, he’s not a superhero who pees on the bad guys. Instead, he has mongoose blood that gives him super speed *cough cough Flash*. I guess the mongoose is the cheetah of herpestes family. I see a Marvel/DC crossover/collaboration, where Flash (maybe played by who else, James Franco) and Whizzer become a hesitant crime-fighting duo.
3-D Man: With his 3-D glasses on, if he concentrates, he has the ability to triple his strength, speed, and stamina. Of course, take his 3-D glasses away from him, or switch them with glasses from the movie theatre, and he’s kinda screwed. That could be interesting.
Leather Boy: Actually, Leather Boy is just a guy dressed up in bondage gear. He should not be considered a superhero, and yet, he is part of the Marvel universe.
Captain Canuck: Okay, so Captain Canuck is not a Marvel comic, but Marvel could easily buy that one for a couple hundred bucks and turn it into a movie that at least Canadians would love. Put Zac Efron in it and it would probably break the Canadian cinema box office record. Surely it could beat My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which is currently #1.